innocence

i had a good day today, for many reasons. :) but..so many things in my head nao. haha. MESSINESS AHEAD.

i guess the biggest thing in my brain right now is how we're gonna play the writing-about-you-on-a-paper-on-your-back game again on the LAST ENGLISH CLASS EVER of SAM next friday. it felt so recent, us playing that game on the very first day of college this year. i remember being so excited to do so, digging my brains thinking of what to write that might be different than just 'friendly', and knowing from after that exercise, that this year was gonna be a good year. what strikes me the most is that i remember all these, like it was yesterday. this whole year i've been saying that time has been passing really quickly, and now i'm like whoa. next week is gonna be the last week of SAM already. and to be honest, i'm feeling rather emo now. it finally hit me, that this awesome chapter of my life is coming to an end soon. and i don't know how to react to this, i just feel all jumbled. i am excited for next friday, for this nostalgic activity, but i have no idea what's gonna happen then. no idea what my friends are gonna write this time, no idea if people will end up crying or laughing, no idea how we're gonna say goodbye.

sigh. and today i was watching the news during dinner, and there was this car crash that happened this morning, and the names of the people that passed away were just listed on the screen, as if it was just like any other list. and i was struck by the thought of no matter how many friends you have, how many people you know, this world will always be filled with strangers. strangers that have their own stories to tell, stories we may never get a chance to hear. and that's kinda sad, don't you think?

today was sean's burfday!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! i shall upload the picture of his watermelon when mich posts it up! hahah it was so cute! :D it was really fun screaming at each other about how to 'prepare' the watermelon for presentation tho. (a watermelon that elena's parents left at the guardhouse for us. hahah!) another reason to be sad bout SAM ending, who else can we hold a lighted watermelon singing happy birthday for/with after this? :)

i'm so messed up right now. i have that uncomfortable feeling that just won't go away.

this is so sad!

'Someone woke up today.

Someone woke up today and kissed someone they love on the forehead.

Someone woke up today and kissed someone they love on the forehead, before they left.

Someone woke up today and kissed someone they love on the forehead, before they left, they said

"I love you. Have a good day. I'll speak to you later."

Someone woke up today and kissed someone they love on the forehead, before they left, they said

"I love you. Have a good day. I'll speak to you later. I love you. I love you."

And they replied

"I love you."

And they kissed them goodbye.

For the very last time.

Someone woke up today. But they won't wake up tomorrow.'
- www.pleasefindthis.blogspot.com

today i read this email my sister sent me, about the biggest regrets people have right before they die. i'm so scared of one day realizing that i have so many regrets but no way of making things right. i'm so scared of doing this wrong, of living my life incomplete. am i satisfied with how i have lived thus far? am i satisfied with everything i am? if i die tomorrow, what are the regrets that i would have?
most of all, i.. would regret not telling more people about God. i would regret not being brave enough to do all the radical things, stupid things, unbelievable things i always wanted to do. i would regret all the times i didn't treat people right, all the times i picked me over them. i would regret never getting to become a doctor, never getting to save a life. i would regret having so many regrets.

and recently miss doh told us about the requirements of being a doctor. you MUST be sympathetic, not empathetic. yea.. i don't know if i can. lately the question of 'am i cut out to be a doctor?' have been playing round and round my mind, nagging, irritating, questioning. it seems like i do everything wrong, my hands feel very weird and shaky, i'm too emotionally attached to everything, i need my sleep (a lot more lately, somehow) and i get scared irrationally sometimes. all along my reason for being a doctor has simply been to help people, and because i think it's what God has called me to do. and as much as i try to have faith in this issue, i mean i don't doubt God, i just doubt myself hearing God ocassionally, and i wonder, what if i'm wrong? i can imagine myself living a different life, not as a doctor. perhaps as a social worker or a field worker at UNHCR or something. a job that might demand less time, and more passion, and more interaction with people. i mean, probably above all, i love people. i love talking with them, though on my emoody days i might not.. and perhaps in that scenario, i'd have more time for a family, for missions, for the freedom to live each day differently, to do one thing that scares me each day, to be useful to society in more than just one way. this would be a nicer, easier, more relaxed option. yet.. i don't know if this is meant to be. and so, perhaps the only reason i'm going through with medicine is the conviction in my heart i believe God's placed there. i have no clue which uni i'll be in next year, no clue if i can survive medicine(oh man i pray i can, for my parent's sake especially), no clue if i can deal with death, stress, decisions everyday, no clue on how i will fill in the shoes God's placed in front of me. but the everlasting truth is, if it's God's plan for me, it'll work out. He'll open the necessary doors, and He'll give me the strength to do so. the lesson i've learnt this year, is that the reason i could rely on God's strength so much was because i had absolutely no strength of my own left to stand on. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. - 2 Corinthians 12:9. :)

i was considering just posting a part of the email my sister sent me, but there was meaning in every little part, so i figured i'd just post everything la. here goes! :)

Five Regrets of the Dying
By Bronnie Ware Platinum Quality Author

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learned never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, but in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to themselves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly.
Choose happiness.

i know it's lengthy, but it's really good stuff. i bolded the stuff that stood out to me. :)

i do feel a bit better after dumping most of my thoughts here. thanks dear reader, for listening/reading. :)


michelle's interpretation of how sean looks. clearly, this is why she is in the SCIENCE stream and not the arts. :P


aww, good times. good times. :)
and...


not forgetting the birthday boy. :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEAN! :D

love always,
candice

miracles

:) i had a completely unproductive day today, and i felt like blogging, so i figured, ah why not, take the whole day to rest la. :P BUT THE DAY'S NOT OVER YET ANYWAYS! :)

today at Parkson, i was with my dad and mum for dinner la, and i asked my dad if i looked like i just woke up, all messy and stuff la. and he said, no, you look like you haven't even woken up. haha, my parents can be so funneee sometimes. :P

HOW I KNOW I GREW UP THIS YEAR :)
- i eat my veggies now! WEN SHI TAI KOR LEE will be so proud of me!
- i don't fight with my parents as much anymore
- i study now! :D
- God's been really real to me this year and it just makes me feel older somehow. :D
- my hair isn't messy anymore (yea this is a COMPLETE lie)
- and cause though i do all the above now, i'm still me. :)
and i think that the me from 24 September 2009 will be quite proud indeed of the girl she became this year. :P

today i was reading jeremy's blog and i found something so encouraging! :) thanks jeremy(if you're reading this)! there's just so many little blessings i have in my life lately, and it's amazing really. i feel so full, like my life is overflowing with good things. like today i was hanging out with my parents watching moonlight resonance for a while, and the tv people talked about how family matters more than money, and they told the bad lady to take the money, they're happy enough with family. :D hahah cheesy, but AWWW, it's so true! this year i have had so MUCH more of those moments where i stop and savour the joy of having things around me work normally. like when we're just sitting together watching tv, i feel so overwhelmed by this peaceful joy, that for then at least, there's no one more blessed than i am. there's nothing like family, really, and i learnt that this year. i think of my family and my friends around me, and i feel like i've never been happier. haha, i think that these people, well family at least, have always been around, but i've just never really seen and appreciated them. but love and you get loved in return, cool stuff eh! :D and then i think of the stress i'm going through now, and i feel so privileged to have these worries, so privileged to have study-stress, to have all the bad stuff in my life as well, cause these are bad stuff that amplify just how awesome everything else in my life is. somewhere, someone else wishes she could be worried about final exams, perhaps some dude wishes he had parents to argue with, and i am who they wish they could be. and i don't wanna be so silly as to not appreciate these blessings in my life now.

God really works miracles everyday, crafting them as easily as He breathes stars. for so long, i've been struggling with laziness, trying to study but always failing, and this week something happened. i just feel completely changed somehow, as if all the stress from my awful trials just pushed me far enough to start trying and trying harder too. and till just now, i thought cool candice, you're finally changing, but i realize such a big internal change could not have happened by my strength alone. suddenly the desire to go on facebook is like way way less than it used to be, and i crave studying a lot (STRANGE) and i can go for pretty long without the computer(just had to reply emails..:P) or tv now. :) PTL OMS! and i realized, it must have been God's work in me. He gave me a change of heart and attitude and perspective, and He does so subtly, incredibly. thank You Jesus, You're really amazing!!! though You probably already know that, lol. You never fail to amaze me by Your faithfulness and unending love for me. :D I LOVE YA LOADS DADDY KING!!!!!!

so i think that really, maybe what it takes to feel the incredible inexplicable wonder i feel, is simply to open our eyes wider, to practice humility and submission, and to surrender everything to God.

as college is coming to an end (12 days left togetherr only.. :( ), i reminisce a lot nowadays. and 2010 is by far, the best year of my life. there were so many things i got to do this year, got to have, people i got to know and become closer too, just 'so many' in this year la. i think of the taylor's musical and how many beautiful memories i got from them. i think of G8'S MAD project and remember just how amazing my classmates all are, and how huge their hearts really are. i am so blessed to have known them at all. :) i think of every birthday, every car ride, every lunch, every "why are we rushing???", every post it note we pass, every handwritten note, every stupid joke, ever prayer meeting, i think of everything, and i smile to myself, knowing where i belong right now. :D

"GUYSSSS, I'M NOT A JOKE OKAY!" (Teng 2010) ;P

LIFE IS GOOD, DON'T FORGET THAT. :)


because prayer meeting's awesome. <3


haha my parents are the adorable-est la. i remember all of us laughing and giggling when we took this. :P


cause we are sisters, and we stick together. :) *and we need new family pictures :D*

"My strength and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
-Psalms 73:26

with lots and lots of love,
candice 'big fat heart' toh

*ps: hahahha in case you didn't know, tohpooisim = bigfatheart in hokkien! :p byebye! study hard!

a lesson in humility

today i went to a home for children with HIV. and it was my first time, i just thought i was going for a home visitation in cheras, only yesterday did i find out that the children there had HIV. and i reacted the way many people would, i was slightly uncomfortable with the idea, and afraid of the risk of infection. i knew that HIV will not be spread via touch, but still, the paranoia is always there. anyways, all the more a part of me wanted to go, if i want to learn real compassion for people, i musn't judge either. and i kept in mind that God will be with us, and if *choi tai ka lai si* i got infected too, it's all in His plan too right?

so this morning we met with uncle isaac, ah fatt and daniel. and even the gist of uncle isaac's testimony could blow you away, he was completely reformed by knowing Jesus and it was just incredible. and what i remember him saying most is that he has been working with HIV people for over twenty years and he is still HIV-negative, so we don't have to worry about infection. if someone were to have gotten infected, it would have been him first. and i was thinking, candice you're so stupid to have worried at all in the first place. he also said that the kids really like having people visit, cause so many people turn away from them at the mention of HIV, and that they had it pretty rough in their old home. so i was pretty excited to see these kids, cause i really miss being around children! haven't been playing with children since.. MADU?

hahah so reaching there, it was pretty nice, the kids were very well behaved and we sat down a while talking to mak wan, who is this incredible woman with so much compassion and love for these otherwise unwanted children. she loved them as her own and they called her mak. :) but the story that broke my heart was of the oldest boy with HIV in that home, who was in form 3. she talked about how sometimes he couldn't handle being the oldest in the house, the one responsible for his younger siblings, and as much as he wants to socialize, it's very painful for him. mak wan said that it would be so difficult trying to explain to everyone that he's HIV-positive, especially when he's talking to girls. and i was really affected by that, i mean talking to girls/guys is something the rest of us take for granted, for fun, and for the first time, i considered what it was like to be on the other end, not just on the outside looking in. would i have their strength to move forward? to put aside the mean glances and to believe that love prevails in an evil world?

these kids are incredibly beautiful children, they dance so amazingly well, they play badminton cheekily and they all want our attention. i watched as two of the boys played on the swings and did the ultimate things man, like stand on the swing, swing upside down with their heads near the ground, climb up the swing poles and just do so many exhilarating things that normal boys would do you know? and they have so much passion and joy and beauty, yet they live their lives as outsiders, people who don't belong, when all that's different is that their blood is infected. and i thought of how under different circumstances, we, well especially me, would go all out to avoid someone with HIV, it's scary and lonely living as a diseased person. but today i realized how i have been judging them all along, though perhaps not their character or their lives, but just by seeing their disease before seeing them. and i was so ashamed today, how could i have ever done that? i think the WORST thing about HIV is not knowing how you would eventually die, or the suffering that comes with the disease, it's the social discrimination that they are subjected to, especially since it wasn't even their fault they were born this way in the first place.

i hate that everytime i go to places like these, and see how wonderful people can be despite their circumstances, that i eventually come home to a very different life than theirs. i hate it so much that i was born with different privileges than other deserving beautiful children.

mak wan was really really nice too. she told us her life story and how she's been working with HIV people for over 15 years. what struck me most was when she said that she wasn't afraid of getting infected because she believed that she was doing God's work, and that God will protect her. i mean.. wow. people like her and uncle isaac make me feel so hopeful, that there are still really good people in the world, trying to make life better for those who suffer. the human spirit is that strong, that loving, that amazing.

though we were of different races and religions, i wondered if this was the spirit of 1 Malaysia right there, perhaps when there is a greater need for love, all other circumstances of birth are put aside, and we are simply people, who depend on one another for encouragement and courage. also i noticed that these kids really needed the loving touch of others, and attention. i mean, was it really that difficult for me to sit there and just play with them? is it that big a sacrifice to make? i belive that essentially, i barely did anything today, i just went to play with some great young boys and had a good time. but it meant so much more to them, and that was extremely humbling.

so these are people i look up too, mak wan, uncle isaac, uncle james who works with refugees, people who talk about the past ten twenty years like it was yesterday, people who lived sacrificially and fully. God bless them. i hope that in thirty years or so, i can be just like them. :)

and yet again, i learnt the precious lesson that when you look closely, people are beautiful. sometimes they're different from us, and in that situation, it is always normal to pick avoidance, neglect, shunning, even if it isn't intentional. yet when we bother to look beyond those differences, when we stop thinking of just us us us all the time, and when we open our eyes to really look into another person's soul, we will see that indescribable beauty in each one of them. sure, it takes time, patience, strength, but comparing that to the rewards of connecting, truly connecting, with another human being, the cost is hardly anything at all. we are capable of making a difference every day, question is, do we choose to do so?

thank You God, for an unforgettable lesson in love, life, faith, and.. humility. :) Please watch over PoShe, and all the precious people living there. :)

love,
candice

moving weary

lots to say today! :P

well for one, i was extremely thankful for prayer meeting today, well this whole week i have been really. somehow, prayer meetings feel very different this week, and i always leave feeling more fulfilled and peaceful. especially today, where we just stood together, singing God of this city. it started off with four of us only, and progressed to a much larger group. it was incredible, i could really sense God's presence and when i just told elena that prayer meeting was good today, she said she could sense God too. and i felt so amazed and glad that i have a place to go each morning to seek God, and do so corporately, that our honest singing would be of value to God. furthermore, it was an extremely humbling experience to notice the small crowds that gathered at the corridors above, just looking down, listening to the melody of our song. well i believe, that it wasn't just the music that drew them in, i believe it was God's presence too. :) i remember how jeremy once told me that in his old cf after prayer meeting, the room will have a whole different feel to it, well something like that, i forgot the exact words. :P but i think i sorta felt that way today and it was really cool. :)

i'm hungry.

well, i got bio back today. and i was extremely disappointed in myself, for the reason that i know i could have done better. my awesome possum friend cedric cha (happy? :P) said that it would be better to know i gave my best than to do well halfheartedly, and somehow that really stuck with me. i don't think i've ever really put my whole heart into anything. and i was even more upset at myself when my dad said he was so sure that if i gave my 100%, that i can get the TER i need for monash. i feel horrible for letting him down and making him worried too, cause my trials results were really just awful, worse than ever before. so with all these feelings, i just made my way to cf and tried to make the best of it. i mean i am inspired to do better, but i'm just spent now. it's like, i've heard all i needed to hear, and let out whatever i had to, but now i am so deeply afraid that i cannot do what i must do? old habits die hard and i am so so afraid of knowing i could have done better in finals after it is over. i think that above all, i fear myself. the faith that i have lost is in myself. there is no one i am angrier at than me.

i'm not boasting, but i've always managed to do well without giving my best. and for once, i know that if i don't try, i will fail this, my future will be affected. and i guess i was partly whining exaggeratingly, but i questioned God, why? why is this so tough? why must i go through so much? and i heard Him clearly say, "because you were meant for greater things." the rest were unclear, but what i got was that, i have to do this, i have to put myself through med school so that God can use me to help people. i always get freaked out thinking about the future, if SAM is already such a challenge to me, how am i gonna survive med school and the emotional distress in medicine as well? will i really spend my life crying away, crumbling from stress or overly affected by people? How can i survive this? as i pondered this, i really felt like God's plan, or what i am quite sure it is at least, is too big for my life, for me, and i don't even know the half of it. i.. just don't think i'm strong enough. and yet God keeps telling me "I am strong enough to hold you." but stupid human me, simply can't let go. oh how i keep praying for strength nowadays, i feel like such a wimp lately. but perhaps it is only the truly brave that dare to admit that they are weak and in need of God's strength? still, courage is jumping, even though you're scared. it running the race although you're tired. and it's holding on, when you feel there's nothing good left in you.

"Oh how many times, have i broken Your heart? Still You forgive, if only i ask. and how many times have You heard me pray, draw near to me."
- All for Love

and it hit me today, if i am so disappointed in myself, how much more disappointed is God in me? when He knows just how much i am capable of? if my heart is broken, how much more broken is His? sigh..

this is a really good video!! even if you've watched it before, do watch it again! i was really touched when i rewatched this! :)


thinking of Jesus and the easter story today, made me feel like i didn't deserve grace at all. i was screaming it in my mind even, i am so undeserving, and after all the times i've messed up, how can You still give grace so freely Lord?

"When you have lost what is most dear to you, only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you."
- excerpt of The Beatitudes

"I am no fool because i give what i cannot keep to gain what i cannot lose."
- a guy i forgot, but this has soo much meaning!
what are we chasing today? are we trying to gain what we cannot keep, earthly possessions that mean nothing eventually? deep.

LONGSUFFERING. i like this word.

"With great power comes great responsibility."
- Spiderman

well i should really be asleep now. Good night! :) and if like me, you find yourself discouraged and exhausted, don't lose heart just yet kay? fight this fight, one day at a time. and google tulip farm images if you really need something to cheer you up aites! :)


sky view of gorgeous tulip farms! i must visit one one day! :D

love,
candice.

to soar on the wings of eagles

“Therefore stay alert, because you do not know the day or the hour. For it is like a man going on a journey, who summoned his slaves and entrusted his property to them. To one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. The one who had received five talents went off right away and put his money to work and gained five more. In the same way, the one who had two gained two more. But the one who had received one talent went out and dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money in it. After a long time, the master of those slaves came and settled his accounts with them. The one who had received the five talents came and brought five more, saying, ‘Sir, you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.’ His master answered, ‘Well done, good and faithful slave! You have been faithful in a few things. I will put you in charge of many things. Enter into the joy of your master.’ The one with the two talents also came and said, ‘Sir, you entrusted two talents to me. See, I have gained two more.’ His master answered, ‘Well done, good and faithful slave! You have been faithful with a few things. I will put you in charge of many things. Enter into the joy of your master.’ Then the one who had received the one talent came and said, ‘Sir, I knew that you were a hard man, harvesting where you did not sow, and gathering where you did not scatter seed, so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. See, you have what is yours.’ But his master answered, ‘Evil and lazy slave! So you knew that I harvest where I didn’t sow and gather where I didn’t scatter? Then you should have deposited my money with the bankers, and on my return I would have received my money back with interest! Therefore take the talent from him and give it to the one who has ten. For the one who has will be given more, and he will have more than enough. But the one who does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. And throw that worthless slave into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth’”
- Matthew 25:13-30

story of my life, as i realized today. i never understood this parable, i always thought, isn't safekeeping good isn't of gambling it away, like a double or nothing sorta thing? cause i equated talents to money. but today, receiving my results, i realized that God has given me this talent of understanding things easily, that even when i don't really try, i can still make it through okay. it's just something i can do, strangely, thanks to God really. and today i thought, what have i done to improve this gift that God has given me? answer: nothing, just slacked like crazy and relied on my talent to be lazy. sigh, i now know, that i must multiply it, i must work harder to make God proud, to make me proud. just an interesting nugget of thought from my mind.

even if you lose faith in yourself, don't lose faith in God.


good stuff! :D

Love is on the move by Leeland
On the corner of his street
The homeless man needs to eat
On the edge of town

Lost his family long ago
Nobody even knows
They all just pass him by

[chorus]
But love is on the move
Revealing heaven's truth!
Love is on it's way and it will find him

In a high rise building
The rich man has everything
But the letter has reached it's end

Hasn't talked to his kids on weeks
He and his wife don't even speak
Nobody even knows

[chorus]
But love is on the move
Revealing heaven's truth
Love is on it's way and it will find him

Anyone can run
Into the arms of god
Love is on it's way and it will find you

And all the world cries for healing
The deepest loving for the love of god
And oh! the greatest mystery
Love has come to save us

And in the little quiet town
The hope of the world was found
Under the night sky

He died and rose again
The sacrifice that conquered sin
And we are his feet his hands

[chorus]
Love is on the move
Revealing heavens truth
Love is on it's way and it will find you

And anyone can run
Into the arms of god
Love is on it's way and it will find you

Oh anyone can run
Into the arms of god
Love is on it's way and it will find you

and this is the other song that's been stuck in my head lately.. :D



because these are friends that last forever. :)

note to self: apple-mint bubble tea is GROSS. never try it again.

learning to breathe,
candice :D

full

there have been way too many things on my mind lately.

real?

hahaha where to start?

well, i had a really great weekend. :) from running over kl, missing train ticket, wrong stops, new hulk episode, long chats, good food and above all good company! :) once again i'm reminded of how much good things i have in my life, and i am truly grateful for em all. life is good. :)


i'm never gonna forget these crazy people. <3

quotes that made my week(end)
Uncle: (talks about some doctor syndicate on money)
Daddy: that's for doctors who want to make money only. (points to me) this doctor's not gonna make any money, she just wants to help people wan.
Me: *heart melts* :)

Sean: I don't do high fives.

Adrian: Temperature increasing hormone!!

Elena: UHHHHHHHHHH!(the hulk arises)

*abstract thoughts ahead*
hmm, other than that, we talked about pride in yc today! and i've never really seen myself as a proud person, so i figured the lesson probably had nothing to do with me. but today i learnt that i too, was guilty of pride. there was something in the notes today about being friends with people, something like do we not accept some people as our friends? that would be cause we're proud, thinking we're better than others. and i thought to myself, how many time have i assumed myself better than some? i mean, if i'm really really honest about it. like, i have distanced myself from some really mean-ish, not-nice people before, and i realized today how wrong it is. there should be no one too bad or too good to be our friend. i think i realized too today how important simply 'being a friend' is. as a friend, we have the opportunity to make a difference in someone's lives, to help them through their darkest hour, to watch them grow and to empower them to do the same for others. and even the worst of the worst needs friends. perhaps you are the one, who can help them find their way. everyone deserves a second chance.

i believe that it is our call, to befriend the lonely, the cruel, the bully, the whoeverelse, and remember that you make a difference in each of their lives just by being you, with them. pris told us once when i think we were talking bout friends with bad stuff going on in their lives that we don't have to approve it, though let them know we don't approve, but still be their friend. good good stuff.

a very fine line divides laziness from out of strength.

don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.
- A Cinderella Story

with my love,
candice