Reflections of Grace

"For we have no superhuman High Priest to whom our weaknesses are unintelligible - He Himself has shared fully in all our experiences of temptation, except that He never sinned."
- Hebrews 4:15

The verse that's been on my mind all day.

My God is such a good God. :)

Recalibration

Take time off busy days, busy lives to breathe in the wild air, set aside the cellphone, play amongst nature, embrace beauty all around and do cartwheels with the sun.

Fighter

Yes you can, and yes you will.

Only Memories Remain

Remember. Reflect. Smile. Breathe.
Move forwards.

Life keeps going, and that's the beauty of it.  :)

Keep Breathing

Every time I walk on campus at uni now, I think to myself, "It's been a while."

Due to being on clinical placements full-time now, I hardly ever come back to uni nowadays, except to see the lovely health insurance lady or for random classes. Having a day off on medical leave today, I spent some time on campus catching up with people and to get some work done as well.

As I walked to the library, this one spot caught my eye, and with it brought back the painful memory of the time I sat there on those steps and cried alone in my black dress.

That was the day we said goodbye to you for good.

This is something I have not thought about for years, but as I pondered on that, everything started coming back to me. The funeral, the people crowded outside the religious center, the ceremony, the hugs from friends, the strong wind, meeting your tearful parents for the first time, and how I felt so completely shaken, for I was unable to comprehend how a life could have been taken so suddenly and at such a young age. I can't believe I'm older now than you were then when you left us.

I didn't know you very well, granted, and since then, yet another tragic passing has happened in our cohort. Today though, as I walk these pathways I used to walk, reflect on how far I have come since, and consider that I will be graduating in just a few short months.. I remember you Andrew. I remember how we met at that clinical skills class and how you were (successfully) trying to impress me with your ability to make the blood pressure machine go through the roof when you flexed your (almost ridiculously) massive arms.

I wish you could have graduated with us, I really do.
And yet I realize.. that if things were different and you stayed a part of our graduating class of 2015, we may still have never become anything more than the acquaintances we were then.

It's strange how life works out in ways we never expected it to hey?

So, I just wanted to say, Andrew.. that I remember you, and that a part of me always will, even if only in sporadic instances and for but a mere moment.

I remember you.

Dreams

"Influence"

This has been something that has been prophesied over me by various people numerous times now.

At the start of this year, during some quiet time I spent with God, I felt Him say that 2015 would be my most influential year yet.

And then not too long after that, my dearest ex-housie Sammy asked me if I would like to partner with her company The User Guide Films to shoot a short video for a series on hope. She asked me if I would be willing to share about my journey with Essential Thrombocythemia.

Before I agreed to it, I thought about how.. well, naked this would make me feel. I considered that suddenly hundreds of people I was acquainted with but didnt really know, and many strangers as well, would know this part of my life that has for the most part, been kept within close circles.

But then I thought about how God always told me to share my stories which spoke more of His grace than of my strength. I thought of the purpose of this segment - to inspire hope, and realized that I would much rather release this story at that price than to keep it to myself for the sake of privacy, and never get to see any other good ever come from it.

I still remember that one train ride I spent with God, and He said to me clearly, "What the enemy intended for evil, I intended for good."

So much more good has come out of this than I ever expected. Truly.

2 years later, I'm still kicking, and I know the heart of my Father in Heaven much clearer than before. I have experienced how much He really loves me and dreams big for me and to have gone through all this with Him has been an experience that I would not trade for any other. Truly, my hope is found in Christ alone and I would in no way be who I am today without Him.

And so, a few hours off the plane on my weekend trip home for a wedding, I was in a park ready to share my story with the team. It was exciting though!

...

Since its release several days ago, I have been so overwhelmed by the amount of support and shares that have come my way from it. Papa said to me, "It will reach whoever it needs to reach." I have been very blessed in return, and am so grateful that this is an adventure I get to still hold His hand on and walk through, and that the fruits of it are still in bloom.

God, You have been so good to me, and just because that's who You are. Here's to more adventures in the future.. wherever You will us to go next. :)

So.. here it is. Enjoy. Do like/share/catch the whole series/subscribe to The User Guide Films today!



Love as always,
Dice

Takotsubo

"When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground, it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters, a table leg breaks or a picture falls off a wall, it makes a noise. But as for your heart, when that breaks it's completely silent. You would think as it's so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world, or at least some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of a bell. But it is completely silent, and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain. If there is a noise, it's internal. It screams and no one can hear it but you. It screams so loud it makes your ears ring and your head ache. It trashes around in your chest like a great white shark caught in the sea, it roars like a mother bear whose cub just got taken. That's what it looks like, and that's what it sounds like, a thrashing panicking trapped great big beast roaring like a prisoner to its own emotions. 

But that's the thing about love, no one is untouchable."

- Cecelia Ahern, from If You Could See Me Now