Counting The Cost

There are more important things.

He Calls Me "Enough"

Seek your validation from the world and you will never be satisfied. 

There is no validation without grace, and there can't be grace without sacrifice.

Thank You Papa, for the sacrifice You made on the cross for me, that I can live each day completely soaked in grace, and know that You validate me, You say I am enough. :)

...

My supervising doctor said to me, "How do you know I'm not hearing from God right now?"

He was questioning my understanding of the ways to assess a patient's experience of delusions. In the context of psychiatry, hearing from God is considered delusional, a symptom pointing towards psychosis*.

Maybe by the world's standards then.. I am. 
I hear Him speak to me every single day. I hear Him encourage me, and I hear whispers about the future. I hear the things that He wants me to tell somebody else and I hear my God tell me He loves me.

Regardless of the norms of this world that I too may be subject to, the thought in my mind now is really this:

"Where would I be today, had I not begun to hear Him speak at all? Indeed, where would I be?"

I reckon I'd be totally missing out on life as I know it.

I wouldn't have gotten to see the breakthrough tears flow down faces when the right word came from God through me into their lives. I wouldn't have gotten to laugh with my friend as I faithfully spoke out an almost exact word I did not know before the moment that was actually spoken over her life years before. I would have missed out on hearing time and time again the exact things I needed to hear in that moment, words that spoke so directly to my heart and could move me to trembles and tears immediately. I would not have found my peace with the every day troubles that come with life, and I believe that I would have spent my life searching, and searching for something that remotely satisfied the emptiness within. I don't think I would have found the joy that I carry today at all, nor my hope for the future.

Maybe that belief makes me weak, but the truth is.. I've never felt stronger.

I LOVE that I got to live out this life so early on, and discover the immense liberation that came with my personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I LOVE living from testimony to testimony, with healing miracles and divine provisions becoming the new normal, but always exciting nonetheless.

I wouldn't have picked it any other way. :)

Love as always,
Dice

*This actually applies only if it is outside of the acceptable norms of a certain community, but for the purpose of this post and in the context of that conversation, the acceptable norms of my community were disregarded.

Onwards

"If you would prepare your heart, 
And stretch out your hand toward Him;
If iniquity were in your hand, and you would put it far away,
And would not let wickedness dwell in your tents;
Then surely you could lift up your face without spot;
Yes, you could be steadfast, and not fear;
Because you would forget your misery,
And remember it as waters that have passed away,
And your life would be brighter than noonday.
Though you were dark, you would be like the morning.
And you would be secure, because there is hope;
Yes you would dig about you, and take your rest in safety.
You would also lie down and no one would make you afraid;
Yes, many would court your favour."
- Job 10:13-19

To me, this says:

If you would just hold on to Him and keep going, He'll pull you through; He will preserve your joy. 

I'm thankful. :)

Especially so today for the people who are still sowing into my life with encouragements, prayers, long distance letters and last minute visits. My heart is warm. :)

"Lift your eyes! In the midst of all that's going on, lift your eyes, look to heaven and remember it is a mighty God you serve!"
- Isaiah 40:26

Love always,
Dice