Wednesday, May 25, 2016

The Sum Of More Choices

This trip home, I got to meet up with a lot of old friends doing different things with their lives, just starting out with their first jobs. It intrigued me to hear tales of what it is they actually do, because it bore stark contrast to my daily routine at work.

In Melbs, I was surrounded by mostly university students or doctors every day, and I live with a Bible college student and a teacher. Being back home, I got to speak with a lawyer, a psychologist, an event planner, an NGO worker, an engineer and a teacher, amongst even more doctors.

I don't know what it is about 'growing up' that has been on my mind so much these past few days, the very thought of becoming an adult in this world with a unique identity of your own.

Being a twenty-something, it's been said that this is the time to make mistakes and discover who you really are; a time to take risks and sail new oceans for time will pass, and responsibility will grow. It's exciting and wonderful to finally be old enough to decide where your next step will be, but immensely scary as well.

And yet, after all these years of thinking I was so sure I knew who I was and what my identity is, at twenty-something with a stable career and dreams in my back pocket, I somehow feel I'm not so sure anymore.

I guess.. I'm still trying to figure that out.

Unless it's not about discovery, but rather finding the courage to create yourself - to unashamedly stand for the things you believe in, to boldly listen to the call of your passions, to chase them, and to rise again after every set back with determination.

...

In the past two weeks, we've talked about relationships, family, careers and aspirations.. and I often paused to wonder, how different my life would have been if I had made different choices along the way.

What if I stayed in KL to study instead of going abroad?
What if I took a year off?
What if I met different groups of friends along the way?
What about all those times my answer was a no instead of a yes?
What if this? What if that?

...

One thing is for sure though, I am here now. 

The real question is, where will the sum of more choices lead me next?

...

"Sometimes I can feel my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I am not living."
- Jonathan Safran Foer 

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Of Growing Up And Moving Forwards

In between mouthfuls of delicious banana leaf rice today, I decided that we should go on adventure.

"C'mon guys, let's do something fun!"

Who would have known, that nekminnit we would be at FRIM (Forest Research Institute Malaysia), cycling rented bicycles and chasing waterfalls through the rainforest. What a day. :)

FRIM (2016)

That's us earlier today.

My very unfit body and quads will regret ever asking for this adventure tomorrow.

As we cycled on today, Eel reminded me that the first time she learnt to ride a bike was with us on our first trip together to Pangkor 6 years ago. I thought back to that trip and smiled, but was also filled with disbelief.. has it been 6 years already?

It feels like forever ago that we met in that small classroom in college and became friends, but over the years, this bunch has really grown to be my favourite bunch of travel buddies. From finding the best street food, to chasing hometowns and heritage stories, to skimming on cost as much as we can, to taking a million photos to commemorate the event, to doing the most ridiculous and embarrassing things in public.. I have loved every trip we embarked on together. Through the process of growing up and moving away, each trip has shrunk in size over time due to growing adult responsibilities and changing commitments.

So, while I have a second to ponder, here's my trip down memory lane - some of our travels together.  

Pulau Pangkor (2010)
Tugu Negara (2010)
Bukit Cahaya (2011)
Port Dickson (2011)
Pedas Linggi (2011)
Genting Highlands (2011)
Malacca (2011)
Kelantan (2012)
Thailand (2012)
Sungai Besar (2013)
Kuala Selangor (2015)
Organ Pipes National Park (2015)
Wilson's Promontory (2015)
Cape Schanck (2015)

So, the Malaysian gang of doctors will be starting work very soon, a two year commitment of extremely long hours and lack of holidays.. which means that as I said goodbye to Sean and Eel today, and the rest of the gang earlier this week, I really don't know when our next big trip, or meet up even will be, if that is possible ever again.

...

It's been said that the only constant thing in life is change.

How did we change from the noisy college kids who just wanted to eat all the time, to adults with jobs, taxes, rent, career goals, new relationships and who are all across several states around the world?

I love the change that has overtaken us in the past few years, but it's also a bit sad to reminisce and realise how much you have to leave behind in the past as dusty memories, and move on to our individual paths heading different directions.

#candicewhysoemo

...

We press on. :)

We keep running our races, making the efforts to stay in touch and one day, one day.. we'll go on another adventure together once again.

Till then,
Dice