The Power of Our Testimony

"in a few hours i will find out if i got into monash or not. man this feel SO surreal. for so long i've wanted this, and was so certain even that this is the direction God's calling me to. now all doubts rush in at my shortcomings, my ability to get a spot. yet, like my results, maybe, just maybe, a God-breathed miracle awaits me. a part of me is afraid of not getting it (like DUH!) cause for so long i have put monash as where i thought i was meant to go to, but another part of me doesn't really care, cause i know that God's still in control, and that He will open the doors needed to take me where He wants me to go. so putting aside my pride, my possible errors in hearing His voice, now it's just all about the revelation, of where He wants me to go. UNSW or Monash? despite the anxiety and maybe even "induced" fear, there's an underlying peace within me now for i know that.. in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.- Romans 8:28. so i'm just keeping my fingers crossed, and waiting. :) in or not God, i will still praise You, and i will always love You. thank You Daddy King! :)

...

after a year of anticipation and stress.....

I GOT IN! :)

praise the Lord for He is good and His mercy endures forever! :D i find myself once again in a place where i know, like REALLY KNOW, i could not have done this by my own strength. all glory goes to God! thank You Father Lord! :)"

- 12-13 January 2011

//

"My biggest testimony from all of this really, is having the peace of God with me throughout everything. I knew those dear to me were very worried, which made me wonder if I should be too, if something was wrong with me for not being afraid of illness, or even death. Now I know though, it's all Papa God just being like.. totally cool and in control of everything.

I knew I had nothing to fear because there had already been multiple prophecies made over my life at different times and by different people all resounding the same message, that there is a future for me to live out my dreams for the glory of God, to share His love to the poor and the broken.

Again I say, that my greatest joy was having His hand to hold through everything, the good and the bad. We are blessed not because we have nothing to endure, but because He remains by our side in every situation. Time and time again, He would overwhelm me with His love and assure me that everything was going to be OK.

Oh and..

Coming back from the doctor today, I am happy to announce that my bloods are now within the normal range and that my biopsy was all clear too! :) Praise God!"

- 05 July 2013

//

"Shortly after this photo was taken, I found out that my flight to Cairns had been pushed to 7am the next morning, which was an absolute disaster because my flight from PNG to Cairns was at 7am. I stood at the counter, flustered, anxious and despaired, thinking of the people I would be letting down who have prayed and financed my way there.

BUT, testimony taime! :) I thank God for an amazing Tiger Air counter person who searched out other options for me for probably 20 minutes. In this time I kept hearing God say, "Do you believe that I want you to go to PNG this time? Do you really think I would set you up to fail?"

Miracle of all miracles, he organised a transfer of my plane ticket to Brisbane and helped me purchase a ticket to Cairns from there. I'm sitting here at the Brisbane Airport awaiting to board now. 

God is so so good to me, ever faithful and a very present help in time of need! Just prior to this photo, I told Ron that a life of missions was so exciting, always having to rely on God for the next pay check. I didn't realize that extended to plane rides too. Still, I am so so thankful to see Him catch me just in time, and even give me a shorter stopover time through the night being homeless at the Cairns airport tonight. 

Lesson learnt: In times of chaos, do I still know who my God is? :) :) :)"

- 11 June 2014

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"Dr Izandis said to me, "I guarantee you, you would not get this experience with any other hospital, not even if you went to Sabah/Sarawak." And numerous other people have commented too that my timing for my elective placement here was absolutely perfect because it was not often that they did trips like this anymore. What a successful mission this was too, for we managed to evacuate two sick children with their parents to tertiary care, and see a lot of patients in different villages around Pos Gob.

You may have heard the story of how God impressed the word Gombak on my heart before I even knew about this hospital, and nudged me to come home for this period when I wanted to go abroad somewhere exotic to do my elective instead. I didn't really wanna come here for I thought it would lack the adventure of missions I craved so badly.

Looking back now I can truly say, God's instructions are always the very best and that His timing truly is perfect. The past few months, I keep hearing Him say to me cheekily, "I told you so. :)" God has been so, so good to me. Whatever comes next, the good and the bad, I am so excited and thankful to do it all with Him. Puji Tuhan!"
- 13 August 2015 

//

How could I have ever thought that Papa God would not come through for me again?

Do it again Jesus. Come show off yet once more in my life. It's all You now. :)

Wholeness

"I actually attack the concept of happiness. The idea that - I don't mind people being happy - but the idea that everything we do is part of the pursuit of happiness seems to me a really dangerous idea and has led to a contemporary disease in our Western society, which is fear of sadness. 

...

Wholeness is what we ought to be striving for and part of that is sadness, disappointment, frustration, failure; all of those things which make us who we are.

I would like just for a year to have a moratorium on the word "happiness" and to replace it with the word "wholeness". Ask yourself "Is this contributing to my wholeness?" and if you're having a bad day, it is."

- Hugh Mackay

...

It's been a wholesome year for me. 

By no means was it only filled with the kind of bad days mentioned above, but it has definitely been a difficult journey nonetheless. Still, I must admit that I did have a large portion of sunshiny days as well.

This year has encompassed decent amounts of joy, sadness, hope, tears, laughter, family, heartache, precious moments, tiredness, love, promises come true, sickness, adventure and new challenges.

For this much, to have grown in the midst of all that, I am very grateful indeed. 

Happy Place

Bring me back to the laughter of children and the kindness of strangers. 

Bring me back to the ease at which I breathed and embraced each day. 

Bring me back to the joy I found in the works of my hands.

Bring me back to face-to-face conversations.

Bring me back to being unplugged from the technology that so often robs us of deeper relationships.

Bring me back to the beautiful, untainted villages tucked away from the rest of the world.

Bring me back to the nights we spent in worship on the deck, where Your presence was so tangibly with us. 

Bring me back to where life was simple, pure and filled with hope for tomorrow. 

Bring me back to that place where I knew that I knew that I knew.. that I was doing exactly what I was created to do.

Rest

"The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace."
- Exodus 14:14

Overwhelming Peace

That feeling.. that I am exactly right where God wants me to be.

That He will most assuredly do all He has promised to do.

...

"Let us become more aware of Your presence,
Let us experience the glory of Your goodness."
- Holy Spirit, Bryan and Katie Torwalt

Perhaps this is how those prayers are being answered. 

Reflections of Grace

"For we have no superhuman High Priest to whom our weaknesses are unintelligible - He Himself has shared fully in all our experiences of temptation, except that He never sinned."
- Hebrews 4:15

The verse that's been on my mind all day.

My God is such a good God. :)

Recalibration

Take time off busy days, busy lives to breathe in the wild air, set aside the cellphone, play amongst nature, embrace beauty all around and do cartwheels with the sun.

Fighter

Yes you can, and yes you will.

Only Memories Remain

Remember. Reflect. Smile. Breathe.
Move forwards.

Life keeps going, and that's the beauty of it.  :)

Keep Breathing

Every time I walk on campus at uni now, I think to myself, "It's been a while."

Due to being on clinical placements full-time now, I hardly ever come back to uni nowadays, except to see the lovely health insurance lady or for random classes. Having a day off on medical leave today, I spent some time on campus catching up with people and to get some work done as well.

As I walked to the library, this one spot caught my eye, and with it brought back the painful memory of the time I sat there on those steps and cried alone in my black dress.

That was the day we said goodbye to you for good.

This is something I have not thought about for years, but as I pondered on that, everything started coming back to me. The funeral, the people crowded outside the religious center, the ceremony, the hugs from friends, the strong wind, meeting your tearful parents for the first time, and how I felt so completely shaken, for I was unable to comprehend how a life could have been taken so suddenly and at such a young age. I can't believe I'm older now than you were then when you left us.

I didn't know you very well, granted, and since then, yet another tragic passing has happened in our cohort. Today though, as I walk these pathways I used to walk, reflect on how far I have come since, and consider that I will be graduating in just a few short months.. I remember you Andrew. I remember how we met at that clinical skills class and how you were (successfully) trying to impress me with your ability to make the blood pressure machine go through the roof when you flexed your (almost ridiculously) massive arms.

I wish you could have graduated with us, I really do.
And yet I realize.. that if things were different and you stayed a part of our graduating class of 2015, we may still have never become anything more than the acquaintances we were then.

It's strange how life works out in ways we never expected it to hey?

So, I just wanted to say, Andrew.. that I remember you, and that a part of me always will, even if only in sporadic instances and for but a mere moment.

I remember you.

Dreams

"Influence"

This has been something that has been prophesied over me by various people numerous times now.

At the start of this year, during some quiet time I spent with God, I felt Him say that 2015 would be my most influential year yet.

And then not too long after that, my dearest ex-housie Sammy asked me if I would like to partner with her company The User Guide Films to shoot a short video for a series on hope. She asked me if I would be willing to share about my journey with Essential Thrombocythemia.

Before I agreed to it, I thought about how.. well, naked this would make me feel. I considered that suddenly hundreds of people I was acquainted with but didnt really know, and many strangers as well, would know this part of my life that has for the most part, been kept within close circles.

But then I thought about how God always told me to share my stories which spoke more of His grace than of my strength. I thought of the purpose of this segment - to inspire hope, and realized that I would much rather release this story at that price than to keep it to myself for the sake of privacy, and never get to see any other good ever come from it.

I still remember that one train ride I spent with God, and He said to me clearly, "What the enemy intended for evil, I intended for good."

So much more good has come out of this than I ever expected. Truly.

2 years later, I'm still kicking, and I know the heart of my Father in Heaven much clearer than before. I have experienced how much He really loves me and dreams big for me and to have gone through all this with Him has been an experience that I would not trade for any other. Truly, my hope is found in Christ alone and I would in no way be who I am today without Him.

And so, a few hours off the plane on my weekend trip home for a wedding, I was in a park ready to share my story with the team. It was exciting though!

...

Since its release several days ago, I have been so overwhelmed by the amount of support and shares that have come my way from it. Papa said to me, "It will reach whoever it needs to reach." I have been very blessed in return, and am so grateful that this is an adventure I get to still hold His hand on and walk through, and that the fruits of it are still in bloom.

God, You have been so good to me, and just because that's who You are. Here's to more adventures in the future.. wherever You will us to go next. :)

So.. here it is. Enjoy. Do like/share/catch the whole series/subscribe to The User Guide Films today!



Love as always,
Dice

Takotsubo

"When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground, it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters, a table leg breaks or a picture falls off a wall, it makes a noise. But as for your heart, when that breaks it's completely silent. You would think as it's so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world, or at least some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of a bell. But it is completely silent, and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain. If there is a noise, it's internal. It screams and no one can hear it but you. It screams so loud it makes your ears ring and your head ache. It trashes around in your chest like a great white shark caught in the sea, it roars like a mother bear whose cub just got taken. That's what it looks like, and that's what it sounds like, a thrashing panicking trapped great big beast roaring like a prisoner to its own emotions. 

But that's the thing about love, no one is untouchable."

- Cecelia Ahern, from If You Could See Me Now

Wanderlust

In the morning hours before I even get ready for my evening shift, I started looking through my old photos once again.

I remember PNG, the joy of crashing Eddie's village for a night and meeting such incredibly beautiful people. I remember playing in the mud with children whose giggles never run out, and having the captain suggest playfully that I go up top and get hosed down. I remember telling a whole village that one night about how good my God has been to me. I remember worship nights on the aft deck, and sharing stories wherever we could find space to do so.

And I find my spirit craving it all once again, a new adventure far away, a new journey deep into the places no one else would want to go to, a new story away from the luxuries of life I have grown too comfortable with that I may be challenged to live on the more important things in life.

I think that aside from all that adventure, incredible people, God encounters and purposeful ventures.. one of the things I love best about it all is that I feel the most me when I'm there. I remember coming home after my first trip to PNG, feeling a bit unable to adjust back to the luxuries we have here, but more so than that, feeling more comfortable in my skin than ever before, knowing what it was that I was created to do.

Ahh. My heart is found dreaming once again, of the muddy village trails, more what's the time Mr Wolf, coconut sago and crab, little gleeful hands in mine, and a sense of life so abundantly.

...

Ah Papa God, I can't wait for our next adventure together. :)

...

And yet, if I could choose only one place where I would like most to be this week, without a doubt in mind, I would pick home, to spend the festive season with family.

Maybe that's how I know I'm growing up, moments with family are becoming more and more precious and highly treasured.

Happy Chinese New Year papa and mama. :) I love you both dearly!

Love,
Dice

It's A New Era

My heart is so full. :)

In Recent Times

So. What have I been thankful for in recent times?

I'm thankful for.. reasonably good health and the ability to keep going on this journey. I'm thankful for the promises that God has spoken over my life, even if it can be difficult to faith them out, and for the stories of His goodness that are inspiring me simply by being able to share them with others.

Ultimately, I am so thankful to know the voice of God enough to hear what He is saying to me now.

I'm thankful for friends that have shown up in my life to care for me, comfort, nurture and feed me lately, and a sister who would respond to my strange request of meeting me at my car with a rolled up magazine simply because there was a large LARGE spider crawling across my car.

I'm thankful for the space I have had to breathe and feel as I needed to, for my car (and the rain that washed all spiders off my car) and for a roof to sleep under every night.

I'm thankful for the challenges that are growing and stretching me, and for God's unwavering belief in me.

I'm thankful for family that's always there even if not physically.

I'm thankful for congee, cups of tea, and vanilla chai lattes.

I'm thankful for favour with the people around me, and for really nice patients.

I'm thankful for a church that reminds me that if my God is for me, no one can be against me.

I am so thankful to be alive to live another day, fight another battle, experience another miracle and expect bigger breakthroughs, and to be able to do all that with Papa God carrying me through.

I am so blessed indeed, and thankful, for being able to realize that once more.

Love,
Dice

Where It Begins

So often, all you need is the courage to start with.. "hey."

And therein, find your breakthrough.

Way To The Heart

Mama's congee on a sick day at home - AMAYZING

Kuala Selangor seafood congee
INCREDIBLY DELISH

And not forgetting the legendary classic pei tan sau yuk chuk (century egg congee with pork). Another honorary mention - random ChiangMai hawker stall breakfast congee with soft boiled egg.

Ahh. SO *satisfying*

Even looking at these pictures are making me happy. :) :)

Love,
President of the Congee Fan Club