Heartstring Tugs

"I told you so."

...

Just as a child running back into the arms of the One who loves her most, so have I been these past couple of days. Yesterday morning I awoke and out of nowhere thought to take a long drive back to one of my favourite places on earth - Fort Nepean. 

It was a Papa and dice trip I so desperately needed. From the moment I decided to get dressed and pack to go, I was allowing the quiet tugs at my heartstrings to guide me. 

"No not there.. not where you've always gone. This time, I want to show you something different."

"What an adventurer You are Papa."

"I know. I am."

I disregarded that little beckon at first, but the turned back, eager to see where He would lead me. It took a bit of an uphill climb.. but it led me right there to that breathtaking view.

"There will come times where you feel all alone on this journey you're on, but know, that I am always with you. And I will guide your heart and your feet, and I will always know how to lead you to where you need to go. 

Come up higher. View the world from a vantage point. See how I see things."

And oh the overwhelming peace and furious love that overtook my heart then. 

You'd think I know by now how quickly Papa can move, the way He soothes the raging seas and quiets my unsettled heart. It's signature. Over and over and over again in my lifetime, I have experienced in deeply personal ways how He would shadow me from the ache of life's uncertainties, patiently pep talk his fearful child and re-instil a courage - that my God is bigger still. 

My God is bigger still. 

...

"The Lord your God will fight for you. You need only to be still."

- Exodus 14:14

Glimpses of Love and Love Lost

I've encountered many elderly widows who were living at home alone throughout my short medical career. In the past two months in ED alone, I have had multiple memorable encounters that left me pondering life, thanking God for all that I have in the present as well as feeling very blessed to have had a kind stranger open up to me about something so close to their hearts.

...

"It's my wife's engagement ring," he said as he pointed to the ring he wore around his neck. 

"She asked me to take care of it when she couldn't anymore. We were married for over 50 years. She was a really good wife.. And now that I can't drive anymore, how will I go and see her? I like to go visit her, just to have a chat and all."

He broke out into heavy sobs.

"I loved her so much."

...

"I moved here from New York all those years ago when I was working as a model. Sold all my designer clothes and bought a plane ticket. And if I never did, I would never have met the handsome Australian man that was the love of my life.

Every morning I wake up and look at his photo and have a chat with him. "It's all your fault!," I'd say. "What did I do?" "Well you up and died and left me all alone, that's what you did!"

But, he was a good man, he really was. And I do miss him so."

...

With both her broken arms up in slings, she said to me, "I'd been married 57 years dear. Let me give you some advice dear. Never go to bed angry. What's it that they say? Never let the sun go down on your anger. Sure couples will disagree, but you need to always hug and make up. Promise me, you'll hug and make up. That is the secret to a happy marriage. 

When you meet the right person, you'll know."

I smiled at her and replied then, "I know." :)

...

She held on to my right hand tightly as tears streamed down her face.

"After he died, I started getting a lot of blood in my poo. The doctors put three clips in there and said it was a stress ulcer in my stomach, from all that grief.

He was a wonderful husband, and I've had 60 years of wonderful. I know that's more than many people get in their lifetime. Many couples nowadays break up, or stop loving each other, but I got to have him. 

Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I still feel him waking up next to me."