there's a lot of new random thoughts i have on my head today! :)
firstly, it felt really good jogging in my favourite park in the whole world again today! so many memories everywhere haha. but really, just putting my legs to good use again, feeling the first wave of panting, is amazing. i love how that makes me feel so alive. until it gets too tiring la. gosh, i am SO out of shape, but it's okay you know? :) i'm glad i took the first step in whipping myself back and improving my stamina to where it used to be like.. 5 years ago? ahhaha. but it was fun going with my sister though, and watching her hilarious cheeky face as she ran past me at the end.
which reminded me of the moments i cherished so much, moments where there's so much joy and peace in me, where for that one moment, everything is as it should be. it happened again as i was driving today, and there was my dad next to me giving instructions, occasionally raising his voice when i get off-track or blur, and three ladies in the backseat unsure if to scream or pray or laugh. it was so funny seeing each of them try whispering instructions to me cause they were to scared to say it out loud or if they were hinting to me before my dad gave the instruction. ahhahaa, either ways, i was torn between being stressed out by them four, and hiding my laughter, cause they were all just so adorable la. :) <3
so far i've been spending more time at home than out with friends, and today, i knew i wouldn't give up that time i had with them for anything else. i'm really gonna miss all this 'mou liu' moments, where my sister and mum and speaking to each other in high-pitched voices, when my eldest sister insists on spoiling me, when we laugh at each other over the silliest things, when my parents try to keep track of what's happening in our three lives, when i learn to knit and learn to drive, when my dad laughs at "what are you sinking about?", when we have dinner together. ohh and when my sister gives me an "i-told-you-so" look when my dad offered to pay me not to shave my head. hahaha :)
at the end of the day, i guess when you give people a chance, they will eventually amaze you.
ooh and i went out for lunch with roxy today! :) had a really good talk, and i'm so glad for all these friendships i have, opportunities to serve and be served mutually. haha after lunch we met up with summer and wei-jan and eventually started discussing wedding photos. apparently, my wedding photos are gonna be very fun , crazy and kiddy, like pillow fights and stuff. hahahahah SO EXCITES. :P
as i was driving today, i realized that i am the last daughter my dad will get to teach to drive. i'm the last daughter to have completed so many other rite of passages too, like losing all my baby teeth, entering sports, finishing SPM, going to college, getting into and going to uni, prom.. and it's a funny, surreal feeling, knowing life is passing all of us by, not in a bad way, just.. sometimes a bit too quickly. i think of all the other rites i have yet to go through, graduating, first job, getting a boyfriend, getting married, having kids and then watching them go through all this back from the start too. how awesome would that be! :)
so just being here where i am now, i'm thankful. thankful for parents who were with me through it all, for sisters who took care of me and in doing so taught me to care for others, for friends in bringing me joy and comfort, and for life, in all it's beauty. :) there's SO MUCH to be thankful for everyday, and i never wanna forget that.
oh and on another note, yoghurt boyz is closed! :( :( :( malaysia is not the same anymore. :'(
these past few days, i haven't been doing my devotion, cause of the different schedule i have here, but that's probably just a bad excuse. like josh shared, God deserves at least 10% of the time He gives me each day, and now i'm struggling to give Him even 1%. and i feel the difference actually, i feel the worry creeping into me again, and the fear of failing my previous paper, of not being able to juggle all i want to do next semester. i NEED to pray, i WANT to spend time with God, but .. sigh, O Lord, please help me overcome the temptations that stand in the way.
kay, i'm gonna go pack up for tomorrow and sleep soon! :) bye bye dear reader, with load of love! :)
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
belief and faith
random thoughts...
more than some of my posts have started with "i learnt..". hahah and i find it pretty cool actually, that i'm always learning new things, getting new revelations and seeing the error of my ways. today i spent some time talking to an old friend i didn't really keep in contact with when i left. and in all honesty, for some time now i've struggled with people who weren't there for me when i felt i needed them. today i learnt, that i.. play both sides in this unpleasant game. i've been the person that wasn't there when people could use my listening ear or company. and it was an extremely humbling and eye-opening experience, realizing that.
going to aus, i've felt so often that i was leaving my ministry behind. i was leaving all my opportunities to serve, and going to a new place with a clean slate and.. nothing to do. from my first trip home back since i left, i learnt that it doesn't have to end here, even thousands(?) of miles away, i can still invest in lives the way a few people have invested in mine.
i thought i finally conquered my biggest hurdle in joining shave for a cure next year. my mum. ahahha, but, all the other hurdles, well actually just this one, was a shadow to a bigger concern in shaving for a cure. do i really have the guts to walk around bald and then with odd short hair for a few months? do i really not care as much about what people think as i like to think i don't? i guess we'll see how things go next year. maybe all i gotta do is close my eyes.. and leap. :)
i think i really gotta stop listening to the voice in my head that diminishes me and beats myself up sometimes. truth is, i know there's many people out there who believe in me. it just gets hard sometimes to believe them, the hardest thing to do even. and i learnt that i don't need to hear people tell me everyday that i can do this, that they have faith in me, cause i know they do. and i just gotta have more faith in me. also, i learnt to keep encouraging others more too, to bless people as much as i possibly can, to love with all my heart and obey because that is the call upon my life.
and.. i gotta stop watching so much romantic chick flicks. lol.
i am also learning to let go. move on and just.. be happy. live, like REALLY. :)
thank you, to all the people i've talked to over the past few days. you guys, are amazing. thanks for all the encouragements, and God bless you!! :)
with loads of love,
candice
more than some of my posts have started with "i learnt..". hahah and i find it pretty cool actually, that i'm always learning new things, getting new revelations and seeing the error of my ways. today i spent some time talking to an old friend i didn't really keep in contact with when i left. and in all honesty, for some time now i've struggled with people who weren't there for me when i felt i needed them. today i learnt, that i.. play both sides in this unpleasant game. i've been the person that wasn't there when people could use my listening ear or company. and it was an extremely humbling and eye-opening experience, realizing that.
going to aus, i've felt so often that i was leaving my ministry behind. i was leaving all my opportunities to serve, and going to a new place with a clean slate and.. nothing to do. from my first trip home back since i left, i learnt that it doesn't have to end here, even thousands(?) of miles away, i can still invest in lives the way a few people have invested in mine.
i thought i finally conquered my biggest hurdle in joining shave for a cure next year. my mum. ahahha, but, all the other hurdles, well actually just this one, was a shadow to a bigger concern in shaving for a cure. do i really have the guts to walk around bald and then with odd short hair for a few months? do i really not care as much about what people think as i like to think i don't? i guess we'll see how things go next year. maybe all i gotta do is close my eyes.. and leap. :)
i think i really gotta stop listening to the voice in my head that diminishes me and beats myself up sometimes. truth is, i know there's many people out there who believe in me. it just gets hard sometimes to believe them, the hardest thing to do even. and i learnt that i don't need to hear people tell me everyday that i can do this, that they have faith in me, cause i know they do. and i just gotta have more faith in me. also, i learnt to keep encouraging others more too, to bless people as much as i possibly can, to love with all my heart and obey because that is the call upon my life.
and.. i gotta stop watching so much romantic chick flicks. lol.
i am also learning to let go. move on and just.. be happy. live, like REALLY. :)
thank you, to all the people i've talked to over the past few days. you guys, are amazing. thanks for all the encouragements, and God bless you!! :)
with loads of love,
candice
Friday, June 24, 2011
thread between strangers
today me and my sister walked into krispy kreme cause i was craving an original glazed donut, and so i ordered and paid for it. walking back to guardian where my other sister was, i realized that there were two donuts in there, and so sis and i decided i should walk back and tell the lady. and back at krispy kreme, i told the lady that i think she gave me two by accident. and the lady smiled and patted my shoulder saying, no no, i gave it to you, it's for you. and smiled really sweetly too!
i'm not too sure what compelled her to do so, maybe it was God saying i could use some extra love and encouragement, or she just thought give one extra so my sister can eat too, but i felt really blessed after. walking out of the shop, the word on my mind was favour. other than that though, i'm just amazed at how the love for strangers still exist in people, and how far one kind act can go. just, pretty amazing stuff, thanks God. :)
and.. i'm learning to treasure moments i sit at home doing nothing or doing chores with my mum and sister, and rest of fam at night, cause it's these things i wish i could be doing when i'm in Aussie wanting to be here. guess i'm starting to understand more and more that family may not always be as fun and stupit and crazy as my friends, but nothing compares to family. we bicker, and quarrels get too far sometimes and i make disappointing mistakes, but there's ALWAYS moments as we sit and watch a movie together talking about it, or carry clothes and sheets around to hang, or cook to eat, or laugh at some new stupid amusing joke that i see the magic behind it all, the joy and love and awesomeness. :)
it's all good. :)
be blessed dear reader! :D
candice
i'm not too sure what compelled her to do so, maybe it was God saying i could use some extra love and encouragement, or she just thought give one extra so my sister can eat too, but i felt really blessed after. walking out of the shop, the word on my mind was favour. other than that though, i'm just amazed at how the love for strangers still exist in people, and how far one kind act can go. just, pretty amazing stuff, thanks God. :)
and.. i'm learning to treasure moments i sit at home doing nothing or doing chores with my mum and sister, and rest of fam at night, cause it's these things i wish i could be doing when i'm in Aussie wanting to be here. guess i'm starting to understand more and more that family may not always be as fun and stupit and crazy as my friends, but nothing compares to family. we bicker, and quarrels get too far sometimes and i make disappointing mistakes, but there's ALWAYS moments as we sit and watch a movie together talking about it, or carry clothes and sheets around to hang, or cook to eat, or laugh at some new stupid amusing joke that i see the magic behind it all, the joy and love and awesomeness. :)
it's all good. :)
be blessed dear reader! :D
candice
where words fail
Among the clouds, Jesus looked for the one ray of light, and gave thanks for it.
a friend told me that day, that she felt that i have been struggling all this time. and yea i guess to some extent, i suppose i have. perhaps it's more to getting used to not having the perfect life i had last year, where friends were awesome, family was great and school, church, everything was working out for me. things haven't been the same this year, and coming home, surprisingly i find that i still haven't found what i'm looking for. not that i even know what it is i'm looking for. i'm just rambling.. but i guess what i'm saying is, life takes weird, unexpected turns sometimes, and you may just find yourself fighting, doubting, pleading, screaming, exhausted and worn out.
at times like this, i think the best thing to do, is find that one ray of light and give thanks for it. laugh at things all the more, smile, be happy, and take out of every situation what you deserve, to rejoice and be glad in the day that the Lord had made. i remember mei ying telling me the story of these two guys that laughed so hard until they cried when they received a letter saying that the funds for their experiment or something was gonna be cut off. they didn't let something as potentially silly as circumstance bring them down, and it really did turn their situation around. all about attitude. :)
so struggling? yea i am, everyday, in trying to discover who i'm supposed to be that would be pleasing to God, in finding the strength to be that person, in taking things a day at a time, to fight negative emotions, and to make the most out of my life. and learning, that in no situation i am facing now does the devil deserve to steal my joy away. God will help me overcome.
it's a fight, but we can do it. :)
love,
candice
a friend told me that day, that she felt that i have been struggling all this time. and yea i guess to some extent, i suppose i have. perhaps it's more to getting used to not having the perfect life i had last year, where friends were awesome, family was great and school, church, everything was working out for me. things haven't been the same this year, and coming home, surprisingly i find that i still haven't found what i'm looking for. not that i even know what it is i'm looking for. i'm just rambling.. but i guess what i'm saying is, life takes weird, unexpected turns sometimes, and you may just find yourself fighting, doubting, pleading, screaming, exhausted and worn out.
at times like this, i think the best thing to do, is find that one ray of light and give thanks for it. laugh at things all the more, smile, be happy, and take out of every situation what you deserve, to rejoice and be glad in the day that the Lord had made. i remember mei ying telling me the story of these two guys that laughed so hard until they cried when they received a letter saying that the funds for their experiment or something was gonna be cut off. they didn't let something as potentially silly as circumstance bring them down, and it really did turn their situation around. all about attitude. :)
so struggling? yea i am, everyday, in trying to discover who i'm supposed to be that would be pleasing to God, in finding the strength to be that person, in taking things a day at a time, to fight negative emotions, and to make the most out of my life. and learning, that in no situation i am facing now does the devil deserve to steal my joy away. God will help me overcome.
it's a fight, but we can do it. :)
love,
candice
Friday, June 17, 2011
neither here nor there
but it's all good! :D
i've got much to look forward to from now, there's going home, malacca, and when i come back, there's the hubs, beautiful woman conference, tutoring, rural placement, indigenous health selective, dna, urbs, dance, and just a new season of challenges and joy. :)
in every season of my life, God is good. <3
here's something i wanted to do for a while!
PEOPLE I ADMIRE (and love) #4 and #5
SARAH-ANN YONG JENLEE
this crazy woman. we became friends last year during all girls camp, especially being in the committee with miss sarah-annyongjenlee as camp commandant. and i know that camp is something we're both thankful for, cause we wouldn't have grown so close if it wasn't for that. i know our skype calls are rare, but they mean the world to me SAYJL! i love the way you always start our call or talks with, "okay what's new with you? faster tell me everything!". you're always ready to listen sa, and i find that so, so admirable. and not to mention, the amazing HUGEE heart that you have for people! i can honestly say that i look up to you berbanyak, and i wanna be more like you, in the way you serve with your heart and your life. keep shining your light to the world, it wouldn't be the same without you. and thanks so much dear, for being someone i know i can always count on, through good, gross and bad. it truly is an honour to be your friend missus!! absolutely excited for my HUGEE hug one fine sunday! ;)
and..
CHRISTINE TAN ZHAO WEI
this ugly man. hahahha nah, my hubs is real gorgeous inside out. you can be so so WEIRD sometimes, but you have been an amazing support for me throughout the past few months, and i think i can really honestly say i don't know how i would have gotten through it in one piece, still sane, if i didn't have you in my life! :) it is such a huge BLESSING to be able to do devo together, and share the stuff we learn, and call one another just to say a short prayer for each other and then say bye. i know God's got great things for you chrissy, and to hear of how your faith is growing each day and how amazingly God is moving in your life, it really inspires me. thanks for EVERYTHING, and for being the best (and only [real]) husband i've had! :) (not will ever have tho! CHOI!) Thanks, for not letting God leave me alone in melbourne, and for investing into my life so much. <3 LOVE YOU HEAPS babe, can't wait to see you and kick you and jump on you in melbourne soon! :)
thank You Lord for these two amazing girls, and i pray that You would keep molding them to be more and more like You each day. AMEN! :)
good night world!
candice :D
i've got much to look forward to from now, there's going home, malacca, and when i come back, there's the hubs, beautiful woman conference, tutoring, rural placement, indigenous health selective, dna, urbs, dance, and just a new season of challenges and joy. :)
in every season of my life, God is good. <3
here's something i wanted to do for a while!
PEOPLE I ADMIRE (and love) #4 and #5
SARAH-ANN YONG JENLEE
this crazy woman. we became friends last year during all girls camp, especially being in the committee with miss sarah-annyongjenlee as camp commandant. and i know that camp is something we're both thankful for, cause we wouldn't have grown so close if it wasn't for that. i know our skype calls are rare, but they mean the world to me SAYJL! i love the way you always start our call or talks with, "okay what's new with you? faster tell me everything!". you're always ready to listen sa, and i find that so, so admirable. and not to mention, the amazing HUGEE heart that you have for people! i can honestly say that i look up to you berbanyak, and i wanna be more like you, in the way you serve with your heart and your life. keep shining your light to the world, it wouldn't be the same without you. and thanks so much dear, for being someone i know i can always count on, through good, gross and bad. it truly is an honour to be your friend missus!! absolutely excited for my HUGEE hug one fine sunday! ;)
and..
CHRISTINE TAN ZHAO WEI
this ugly man. hahahha nah, my hubs is real gorgeous inside out. you can be so so WEIRD sometimes, but you have been an amazing support for me throughout the past few months, and i think i can really honestly say i don't know how i would have gotten through it in one piece, still sane, if i didn't have you in my life! :) it is such a huge BLESSING to be able to do devo together, and share the stuff we learn, and call one another just to say a short prayer for each other and then say bye. i know God's got great things for you chrissy, and to hear of how your faith is growing each day and how amazingly God is moving in your life, it really inspires me. thanks for EVERYTHING, and for being the best (and only [real]) husband i've had! :) (not will ever have tho! CHOI!) Thanks, for not letting God leave me alone in melbourne, and for investing into my life so much. <3 LOVE YOU HEAPS babe, can't wait to see you and kick you and jump on you in melbourne soon! :)
thank You Lord for these two amazing girls, and i pray that You would keep molding them to be more and more like You each day. AMEN! :)
good night world!
candice :D
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
the bumpkin
this naughty little girl was playing with markers and drew on one of my fingers. so, i told her, "eva no, cannot."
then she looked at me innocently..
.. and kissed my finger.
AWWWWW HEART MELT!! <3
love,
candice :D
then she looked at me innocently..
.. and kissed my finger.
AWWWWW HEART MELT!! <3
love,
candice :D
Thursday, June 9, 2011
the peace of hope
While I'm Waiting by John Waller
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord
yesterday night's combined urbs was awesome! :) felt like the final altar call was really God's army rising up together, praying as one for one another, honouring the presence of God in everyone and it was just so.. amazing. :) i love what pastor matt said about how we may sometimes feel like JUST the pinky in the body of Christ, but when you have a paper cut on your pinky, when it hurts, the whole body suffers. :) and he shared about the lady in the Bible with the issue of blood who just wanted to touch Jesus' hem, and reminded us that the hem is the dirtiest part of Jesus, but it held so much power too. like really awesome stuff. after the prayer session was over, nek dit asked me what i felt. and i thought a while, and knew the answer. :) PEACE. with new hope and a lot a lot of love around me! :)
and then we went to surprise wen shi! he was expecting something from ppl apparently, but not us! :P think he totally hid his tears of touched-ness. :P kinda fail cause i was too excited when he opened his door and i blew out the candles. HAHAHA kena marah by them kau kau dy la! anyways, it was fun tho! :) can't believe you're 19 already, happy birthday tai kor teng! :)
the cake that gene and i put SO MUCH LOVE into.. :D glad wen shi liked it! :)
us waiting for tram afterwards. SO SO COLD!! :D
the birthday boy! we hope you enjoyed your birthday!! :)
love a bunch,
candicee! :D
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord
yesterday night's combined urbs was awesome! :) felt like the final altar call was really God's army rising up together, praying as one for one another, honouring the presence of God in everyone and it was just so.. amazing. :) i love what pastor matt said about how we may sometimes feel like JUST the pinky in the body of Christ, but when you have a paper cut on your pinky, when it hurts, the whole body suffers. :) and he shared about the lady in the Bible with the issue of blood who just wanted to touch Jesus' hem, and reminded us that the hem is the dirtiest part of Jesus, but it held so much power too. like really awesome stuff. after the prayer session was over, nek dit asked me what i felt. and i thought a while, and knew the answer. :) PEACE. with new hope and a lot a lot of love around me! :)
and then we went to surprise wen shi! he was expecting something from ppl apparently, but not us! :P think he totally hid his tears of touched-ness. :P kinda fail cause i was too excited when he opened his door and i blew out the candles. HAHAHA kena marah by them kau kau dy la! anyways, it was fun tho! :) can't believe you're 19 already, happy birthday tai kor teng! :)
the cake that gene and i put SO MUCH LOVE into.. :D glad wen shi liked it! :)
us waiting for tram afterwards. SO SO COLD!! :D
the birthday boy! we hope you enjoyed your birthday!! :)
love a bunch,
candicee! :D
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
right here
God, i pray that You would always be my first love. :)
"When the first love was thwarted, then there was just a chance that in the loneliness, in the silence, something else might begin to grow."
- C. S Lewis in The Great Divorce
i shared this a couple of posts back. and i find myself here, thinking about how this quote applies to me. for so long i've been going on and on about how hard things get here, how tired i am of being lonely, how much i miss home and the people there. but in this loneliness and silence, as i begun to open my eyes and really see it for what it is, i realized that i am so greatly blessed in such a time as this. Sure there was pain along the way, but this season (that's not over yet but greater is yet to come) has shown me above all, that God is faithful. i find myself falling more and more in love with Him each day, and in doing the book of Psalms daily with chris, that my hunger for His Word just keeps getting bigger. I find myself rested in His presence, supported by His people, and not alone at all. Coming here I've been holding on to this hope, that God has work for me to do here. And true enough, He sent a call in a personal way, reminded me over and over again that i am here for a greater purpose. though i know this to be the truth, i struggle each day in believing it, in not being deceived by the devil that all i am is a failure, useless, unworthy, a kid. psalm after psalm just sends one common message, i hear God saying so clearly "Here I am, trust Me, Trust Me." with this upcoming exam, with whatever relationships with people that may come my way, with a ministry He's calling me to, with my whole life, with the lives of those dear to me, He's just saying "Trust Me.".
and man that is easier said than done, but so often i see myself back again reading my precious moments Bible, with nothing left to do but trust in Him. cause life can be hard, and painful, but in every situation God will always still be God.
so Lord, teach me i pray to always trust in You for i know You have promised me that "The Lord is my strength and my shield, my heart trusted in Him and i am helped". and Lord, i pray that You would mold me, more and more each day, send me challenges, keep me on my knees, that at the end of my life, i can look back and see how You strengthened me to be more and more like You. You see my eagerness to move forward O Lord, to be at the place where the dreams You have for me come true. but where i am now is far more important than the final victory, cause i know every step i take now is leading up to that. so use me God i pray while i'm waiting, in little ways, in huge ways, in any way you want that can make me be a blessing to Your people, that can let those who don't know You see how real Your love is through me. thank You so much Lord that i have You in my life and that that promise is for forever.
coming here, my sister told me that only the closest of close friends will survive the distance. true enough, some friendships have wavered, others i know are quietened for a moment but will just grow even better when we're all home, and a rare few have blossomed to heights i never imagined. and i just know they'll keep growing! and having said that, the words that keep playing in my head now are just, "i am so so blessed, thank You God." :)
give me a servant heart Lord i ask, and never let me lose my hope in Your people, never let me forget how much they can acheive in You and how truly, truly beautiful they are. also Lord, i pray for humility, and a teachable spirit that i may keep learning and being inspired by those further along in their walk with You, yet never ever underestimating what i can learn from the most unlikely places.
for people who's had 'deep' conversations with me lately, you know how i feel like in so many areas, i've tried.. and failed. just haven't been seeing any results. but this week's sermon again encouraged me, as pastor russell reminded people that God's not done with His call yet. He said those exact words "i tried.", and said that God has not yet called us to stop trying. that made me feel lk WHOAAA. so yes Lord, i'll answer that, i'll keep believing, i'll keep pushing through and i KNOW and i BELIEVE and DECLARE that one day, Your rain will come and i will get to see the miracles i'm praying for come to past. here's something else that encouraged me today..
"Then they said to the woman, "Now we believe, not because of what you have said, for we have heard for ourselves and know that this is indeed the Christ, the Saviour of the world."
- John 4:42
i think that's pretty much all i have to say for now, just the random blend of thoughts in my mind. God bless you wherever you are dear reader, and for those having exams, all the best! :)
with heaps of love,
candice :)
"When the first love was thwarted, then there was just a chance that in the loneliness, in the silence, something else might begin to grow."
- C. S Lewis in The Great Divorce
i shared this a couple of posts back. and i find myself here, thinking about how this quote applies to me. for so long i've been going on and on about how hard things get here, how tired i am of being lonely, how much i miss home and the people there. but in this loneliness and silence, as i begun to open my eyes and really see it for what it is, i realized that i am so greatly blessed in such a time as this. Sure there was pain along the way, but this season (that's not over yet but greater is yet to come) has shown me above all, that God is faithful. i find myself falling more and more in love with Him each day, and in doing the book of Psalms daily with chris, that my hunger for His Word just keeps getting bigger. I find myself rested in His presence, supported by His people, and not alone at all. Coming here I've been holding on to this hope, that God has work for me to do here. And true enough, He sent a call in a personal way, reminded me over and over again that i am here for a greater purpose. though i know this to be the truth, i struggle each day in believing it, in not being deceived by the devil that all i am is a failure, useless, unworthy, a kid. psalm after psalm just sends one common message, i hear God saying so clearly "Here I am, trust Me, Trust Me." with this upcoming exam, with whatever relationships with people that may come my way, with a ministry He's calling me to, with my whole life, with the lives of those dear to me, He's just saying "Trust Me.".
and man that is easier said than done, but so often i see myself back again reading my precious moments Bible, with nothing left to do but trust in Him. cause life can be hard, and painful, but in every situation God will always still be God.
so Lord, teach me i pray to always trust in You for i know You have promised me that "The Lord is my strength and my shield, my heart trusted in Him and i am helped". and Lord, i pray that You would mold me, more and more each day, send me challenges, keep me on my knees, that at the end of my life, i can look back and see how You strengthened me to be more and more like You. You see my eagerness to move forward O Lord, to be at the place where the dreams You have for me come true. but where i am now is far more important than the final victory, cause i know every step i take now is leading up to that. so use me God i pray while i'm waiting, in little ways, in huge ways, in any way you want that can make me be a blessing to Your people, that can let those who don't know You see how real Your love is through me. thank You so much Lord that i have You in my life and that that promise is for forever.
coming here, my sister told me that only the closest of close friends will survive the distance. true enough, some friendships have wavered, others i know are quietened for a moment but will just grow even better when we're all home, and a rare few have blossomed to heights i never imagined. and i just know they'll keep growing! and having said that, the words that keep playing in my head now are just, "i am so so blessed, thank You God." :)
give me a servant heart Lord i ask, and never let me lose my hope in Your people, never let me forget how much they can acheive in You and how truly, truly beautiful they are. also Lord, i pray for humility, and a teachable spirit that i may keep learning and being inspired by those further along in their walk with You, yet never ever underestimating what i can learn from the most unlikely places.
for people who's had 'deep' conversations with me lately, you know how i feel like in so many areas, i've tried.. and failed. just haven't been seeing any results. but this week's sermon again encouraged me, as pastor russell reminded people that God's not done with His call yet. He said those exact words "i tried.", and said that God has not yet called us to stop trying. that made me feel lk WHOAAA. so yes Lord, i'll answer that, i'll keep believing, i'll keep pushing through and i KNOW and i BELIEVE and DECLARE that one day, Your rain will come and i will get to see the miracles i'm praying for come to past. here's something else that encouraged me today..
"Then they said to the woman, "Now we believe, not because of what you have said, for we have heard for ourselves and know that this is indeed the Christ, the Saviour of the world."
- John 4:42
i think that's pretty much all i have to say for now, just the random blend of thoughts in my mind. God bless you wherever you are dear reader, and for those having exams, all the best! :)
with heaps of love,
candice :)
Friday, June 3, 2011
the beauty of rain
Dear Lord,
Today i just really wanna thank You for all the people who have chosen to invest in my life, in little but meaningful and amazing ways, through letters, emails, skype calls, texts, facebook posts. I've never felt more blessed to have these people in my life. thanks God. and now we gotta head to school Lord! :P
Amen! :)
cause if i just say thank you, i might be saying it out of politeness, or from the spur of the moment.
but if i thank God for you... you know i really mean it. <3
The beauty of rain is that it makes every ray of sunlight clearer and all the more wonderful.
love a bunch,
MEEE! :)
Today i just really wanna thank You for all the people who have chosen to invest in my life, in little but meaningful and amazing ways, through letters, emails, skype calls, texts, facebook posts. I've never felt more blessed to have these people in my life. thanks God. and now we gotta head to school Lord! :P
Amen! :)
cause if i just say thank you, i might be saying it out of politeness, or from the spur of the moment.
but if i thank God for you... you know i really mean it. <3
The beauty of rain is that it makes every ray of sunlight clearer and all the more wonderful.
love a bunch,
MEEE! :)
none but the brave deserve the fair
One of the most common – and most beautiful – attributes amongst Christian ladies is a desire to nurture. A desire to comfort, and encourage, and serve.
In the right context, this is an amazing, Godly aim. In the wrong context, it will really mess you up.
What tends to happen for a lot of Christian gals is that they see a guy who is – and this is a theological phrase – a wounded puppy. He’s sad and discouraged and probably wants something spiritual in his life but isn’t sure how that would work for him and aw shucks and who’s-to-say. And, for these Christian gals, that desire to nurture kicks in. Problem is, it quickly transitions to a desire to date said wounded puppy. And this will not work.
There’s a line from an old poem that says, “None but the brave deserve the fair.” Ladies, I want you to emblazon this on your subconscious minds. None but the brave deserve the fair.
Why do I say this? Because a Christian woman deserves to be with a Godlyman. Not a boy, not a teenager, not an adolescent. A man.
And, make no mistake, being a man isn’t about chronological age. It’s about personal and spiritual maturity. Here are some benchmarks to consider:
- A man is not looking for and does not need you to fix him. He’s already working things out with the Lord – just the two of them.
- A man knows where he stands spiritually.
- A man is confident in who he is and what he brings to the table.
- A man has the humility to know what his weaknesses, limitations, and growing-edges are, and is addressing them.
- A man knows where he’s going in life – following the Lord – and isn’t willing to get off course for you or anyone else.
So, then, what does that look like lived out?
- A man will meet you and spend some time getting to know you. He will pray for you and about you, and seek counsel from people farther along in the Lord than himself. He will not rush into anything. When he has a firm word from the Lord that this is a relationship from the Lord – and not before – he will move forward.
- He will summon the courage to ask you out on a date. He will not hem and haw, he will not say, “hey, maybe we should hang out, you know, sometime.” He will say, “I’d like to take you out for dinner. On a date. What do you say?”
- He will tell you how he feels about you. And I’m not talking, “So, you seem cool, and, yeah, it’s cool to hang out.” I’m talking, “You need to know that I’m crazy about you. I admire the heart you have for the Lord and the lost. I respect your walk. I value your authenticity. And I think you’re hot as all get out. If that doesn’t work for you, I understand, but you should know where I’m coming from.”
- A man will insist that both of you go to the Lord and ask for wisdom on what the Lord wants the physical boundaries to be for this relationship.
- A man will then insist that those boundaries are followed whether you like it or not. And if you start to get out of pocket, he will say, “Darling, don’t try and start something I won’t let you finish.” And he will mean it.
Everything I’ve just described requires courage. It requires bravery. It takes a man to pull it off.
And if there’s a dude out there that can’t man up, then he doesn’t deserve you. God does not want you to settle, and trust me, you don’t need to.
Remember, sisters: None but the brave deserve the fair.
got this off sarah's blog. pretty good stuff! :) kay, i gotta run now. byebye! :)
In the right context, this is an amazing, Godly aim. In the wrong context, it will really mess you up.
What tends to happen for a lot of Christian gals is that they see a guy who is – and this is a theological phrase – a wounded puppy. He’s sad and discouraged and probably wants something spiritual in his life but isn’t sure how that would work for him and aw shucks and who’s-to-say. And, for these Christian gals, that desire to nurture kicks in. Problem is, it quickly transitions to a desire to date said wounded puppy. And this will not work.
There’s a line from an old poem that says, “None but the brave deserve the fair.” Ladies, I want you to emblazon this on your subconscious minds. None but the brave deserve the fair.
Why do I say this? Because a Christian woman deserves to be with a Godlyman. Not a boy, not a teenager, not an adolescent. A man.
And, make no mistake, being a man isn’t about chronological age. It’s about personal and spiritual maturity. Here are some benchmarks to consider:
- A man is not looking for and does not need you to fix him. He’s already working things out with the Lord – just the two of them.
- A man knows where he stands spiritually.
- A man is confident in who he is and what he brings to the table.
- A man has the humility to know what his weaknesses, limitations, and growing-edges are, and is addressing them.
- A man knows where he’s going in life – following the Lord – and isn’t willing to get off course for you or anyone else.
So, then, what does that look like lived out?
- A man will meet you and spend some time getting to know you. He will pray for you and about you, and seek counsel from people farther along in the Lord than himself. He will not rush into anything. When he has a firm word from the Lord that this is a relationship from the Lord – and not before – he will move forward.
- He will summon the courage to ask you out on a date. He will not hem and haw, he will not say, “hey, maybe we should hang out, you know, sometime.” He will say, “I’d like to take you out for dinner. On a date. What do you say?”
- He will tell you how he feels about you. And I’m not talking, “So, you seem cool, and, yeah, it’s cool to hang out.” I’m talking, “You need to know that I’m crazy about you. I admire the heart you have for the Lord and the lost. I respect your walk. I value your authenticity. And I think you’re hot as all get out. If that doesn’t work for you, I understand, but you should know where I’m coming from.”
- A man will insist that both of you go to the Lord and ask for wisdom on what the Lord wants the physical boundaries to be for this relationship.
- A man will then insist that those boundaries are followed whether you like it or not. And if you start to get out of pocket, he will say, “Darling, don’t try and start something I won’t let you finish.” And he will mean it.
Everything I’ve just described requires courage. It requires bravery. It takes a man to pull it off.
And if there’s a dude out there that can’t man up, then he doesn’t deserve you. God does not want you to settle, and trust me, you don’t need to.
Remember, sisters: None but the brave deserve the fair.
got this off sarah's blog. pretty good stuff! :) kay, i gotta run now. byebye! :)
Thursday, June 2, 2011
caught in Your grace like an avalanche
Never Give Up by Josh Bates
Time after time you’ve been left behind
like the sun when it’s starting to rain
Time after time you’ve been forgotten
like a picture that’s faded with age
Time after time you ran after me
when I was still running away
You never give up on me
No, You never give up on me
Though I’m weak you are strong
You told me I still belong
No, you never, never give up on me
Time after time I’ve used your grace
as a way to do what I please
I’ve taken for granted prayers that you answered
never been all I could be
You are holding out your hands
and now I clearly see
You always erase all my mistakes
You lift me up when I'm down
Through all the ages, Your love never changes
You welcome me just as I am
byebye! :) <3
Time after time you’ve been left behind
like the sun when it’s starting to rain
Time after time you’ve been forgotten
like a picture that’s faded with age
Time after time you ran after me
when I was still running away
You never give up on me
No, You never give up on me
Though I’m weak you are strong
You told me I still belong
No, you never, never give up on me
Time after time I’ve used your grace
as a way to do what I please
I’ve taken for granted prayers that you answered
never been all I could be
You are holding out your hands
and now I clearly see
You always erase all my mistakes
You lift me up when I'm down
Through all the ages, Your love never changes
You welcome me just as I am
byebye! :) <3
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