Walk On Tightrope

It was a very spontaneous decision I made to visit Singapore for a short holiday. I had originally planned to crash with my sister on her vacation and visit several friends here in Singapore,  but by a turn of events, I ended up staying with a friend I met from PNG and spending most of my trip with her and her family.

It was spontaneous, but on the days leading up to the trip, I began to really crave this getaway. This year end, I found myself clouded with so much uncertainty about the life I have chosen to pursue, the choices I made along the way and the weight of all that the future holds for me. I was getting more and more fearful of life, finding it difficult to embrace it as wholeheartedly as I did when I was a teenager. That being said, I found myself afraid of being an adult and of the immense responsibility that came with it. 

And then I came here, and had a ton load of fun doing adventurous things and taking silly selfies. More than just that though, I got to have these incredibly raw and honest conversations about our hopes, weaknesses and callings too. Life can be so, so difficult, but God is ever faithful and good to us. 

As we sat on that boardwalk till late at night talking, and sometimes simply sitting still feeling the sea breeze, I realized that we were back at sea once again.

And at that point, I wasn't worried about getting caught up in the rat race of life anymore. Somehow, I was back on the aft deck of that ship, with an acoustic worship song being played in the background, facing the Papua New Guinean sea and surrounded by people who truly do understand the weight of the things on my heart, because they feel it too. I was back where life was slow, and easy, and so full of unforcing purpose. I was back where I held on tight to Papa's hand and kept on going with life, bright-eyed, hopeful and expectant.

It really was the wave of fresh air that I so badly needed, and I will never forget this trip.

And so.. I got exactly what I needed, and I think I'm ready now to face and welcome in the new year. Time and time again this year I have seen God provide for me, not necessarily what I wanted,  but always , always what I needed. I am so beyond grateful, and humbled that I received this opportunity to travel and be refreshed, to be heard, encouraged, hugged and prayed for, to dive back into the sea with my fellow flying fishes before I leap out into the world once again.

I am so, so well taken care of in this life Papa, I see that now. Thank You. :) 

The athlete and the "garoupa"

All my heart,
Dice