Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Matt

"This is a really good thing that you're doing for her."

He turned away from me and was quiet. With his back turned to me, I could just see the corner of his face turn red and that telltale quiver of his lower lip. He covered his face with his hand, attempting to hide the tears spilling from his eyes.

For the past two and a half hours that I've known him, Matt had been a rock for Lila - extremely patient, kind and reassuring. He held her hand when she was afraid, listened as she spoke endlessly and sat with her in the busy ED just to keep her company.

"I just feel so... helpless."

He started to sob as if a dam broke within him, releasing the incredible weight upon his shoulders in the few peaceful moments of respite that we had.

...

Lila was well into her ninety-s and still living at home on her own. In the past few weeks, Lila had become more confused, paranoid, delusional and suspicious of people around her. It was very likely that she had undiagnosed dementia as well as other ongoing medical problems that may be contributing to her symptoms. She had also had two falls in this time, sustaining moderately large bruises to her face.

Today, she had been brought in by the ambulance under an assessment order, whereby she needed to be seen by a psychiatrist before being cleared to be safe to go home.

Glancing into her cubicle prior to meeting her, I saw a well-dressed elderly woman with a shopping trolley sitting on a chair in the company of a man who appeared to be in his mid-sixties.

Matt introduced himself to me. I had initially assumed that he was her son, but as it turned out, Matt was her next door neighbour.

Lila was not an easy person to hold a conversation with as she remained fixated on her paranoid ideas and needed to be interrupted frequently due to her tendency to tangentially go off topic. She was certain that we were trying to do harmful things to her and separate her from Matt. I even had to obtain more information via telephone from Matt's wife Susie, because the latter knew what medications Lila was on and what her doctors had said about her health.

After some time with great difficulty, we managed to get Lila to agree to a CT scan of her brain and for me to take some blood from her. Through Matt's gentle coercion she would reluctantly agree to allow us to do what was required as long as he stayed by her side. Matt even successfully managed to persuade her into allowing a nurse to assist her in the bathroom for a urine sample while he and I waited outside.

It was in these few moments alone that we were able to speak freely.

In between sobs, Matt admitted to me, "My wife and I want to help her because she's our neighbour and we care about her, but how much can we do? She's not our mother. It's so difficult, but underneath all that's happening, Lila really does have a heart of gold."

I was extremely moved in that moment. I immediately thought of how Jesus commanded us to love our neighbour as we love ourselves, and pondered upon the sacrifice that both Matt and his wife had chosen to take upon themselves because they genuinely loved their neighbour.

How many people in our world today would do for our neighbour what Matt and Susie had been doing for Lila?

Lila came out the bathroom shortly after, causing Matt to wipe the last of his tears off his cheek and put on a good face for her once more, as if nothing had happened at all.

...

Today, Matt taught me a powerful lesson with his life. He showed me the beauty of our humanity in his choice to sit with an elderly lonely woman in the emergency room while she got the medical help that she needed even though she did not want it. He demonstrated an extreme kindness that went far above and beyond the call of duty, exemplifying "whoever compels you to go with him one mile, go with him two".

Not all heroes wear capes. Truly.

I don't think you'll every come across this Matt, but I want to thank you for inspiring me today to love others more selflessly as Christ does. Thank you for your generosity, and for showing me just how capable we are of doing something powerful in the midst of the broken world that we live in, making it better one cause at a time. 

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