Hand In Hand, Right?

Even if the day isn't a "Thank You Jesus for being SO SO good to me" day,
Even if the day is a horrible one that shoves your emotions around and breaks your heart,
Even if you have to face the music,
Even if there is a "but only if",
Even if it all feels so unfair,

It should still be a , "Thank You Jesus, I'm alive, and I know I still have much to be thankful for" day.

Resistance Training

A few days ago, I received a humongous scare when the toilet paper I unsuspectingly pulled from the roll revealed a huge brown cockroach beneath the metal cover. I screamed in response and was far too afraid to continue using the bathroom. Excuse me for being a 'girly girl', but it completely freaked me out that the cockroach was nearly on my hand.

I only went back later with my eldest sister in tow for some sort of protection. To be honest, I was a total whine and scaredy cat, to the point where my sister exclaimed, "You're normally so brave and now I can't believe you're scared of a little cockroach!"

Anyways, we couldn't find it, which meant that it was lurking somewhere. I had to just use the bathroom cautiously, ready to make an escape if necessary.

I spent that day a little mad at God for bullying me like that. To have a cockroach in my toilet was okay, but it was on my toilet roll and gave me such a huge shock when my hand was there. To top it off, I had prayed once, fully believing too I might add, that all forms of small, violent animals and insects would never come near me because well.. my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and I declared that they would fear the light in me and thus stay far away.

I know my anger was irrational, and probably out of place as well, yet I couldn't help but feel the way I did.

And would you believe it, that night, I came upstairs to find that cockroach dead, lying right outside my room. 

...

I knew then that Papa wanted to teach me something. 

I knew then that He listens to my every prayer, even the funny ones, even the irrational ones, and while He may not always do what I want Him to do.. sometimes, He grins and lets me have my way.

"Sometimes, you may feel like My favour has left you, but I want you to know that My eyes are always on you, and My heart always for you. Hang in there. You ARE favoured, even if it doesn't show yet."

:)

...

And then tonight, a bird pooped directly onto my hand, a first experience in my 20 years.

Frustrated and upset, I let out a big sigh.. after the scream that came as a reflex upon noticing the poo on my arm.

What are the odds? Why is this happening to me? Why does it feel like God is out to get me?

These were the questions I knew the answer to, that I just had to throw out to Him in anger anyways.

...

It's about resistance training.

It's about not letting fear get the best of me. It's about being okay with bad circumstances because a life of missions would entail cockroaches and bird poop too. It's about winning the battle in my own mind and spirit.

I've learnt, that it's about praising the name of Jesus even when the bad things happen, to laugh with the crowd when these odd bouts of 'bad luck' take me by surprise, to believe no matter what happens that I am a favoured and precious child of God. Putting it into practice though, requires a bit more time and a lot more heart from me.

But you see.. the more I can do that, the more I can live the way Papa intended me to -

.. safely housed by His everlasting peace in an insanely chaotic world. 

Blessed by everyday lessons,
Dice

Faith

When things get hard, take it as a compliment. 

...

It's God, whispering, "I believe in you."

"I know you are stronger than this."

"The good things are on their way."

Someone Else's Home

On the way out of my housing area tonight, the security guard looked in the car and smiled wide at me.

"You went to Nepal right? Your mother told me about it! How was it? Did you like it?"

His joy was infectious, and soon I realized that I was smiling wide in return.

Here he was, asking if I liked the place he calls home. :)

...

This Nepal trip has offered me so much new perspective. While I may not have been of as much help as I hoped to be, I got to learn much, and understand more of the world.

One of my last days here before leaving for this trip was spent in KL city with my dad looking for a foreign currency exchanger. The more we roamed KL, the more I realized that this was a city of Nepalese men, amongst other races. A moment of sudden empathy hit me. These are men that have left their homes, their wives and their children to make a living that they may be able to provide for them. These are the men who have sacrificed much for what is most precious to them.

The plane ride to Nepal was likewise filled with Nepalese locals. Some looked excited, while others looked indifferent. And there it was again, this moment of empathy. What was it like for them to be returning to their country, after who knows how long? What did it feel like to be able to drop the responsibilities of a harsh world for but a moment, and go home? Could it be possible, that I have been taking the experience of 'going home' for granted?

Not only that, my mum told me recently that the village I had visited up the mountains, the one that made me fall in love with Nepal - Khalte, was actually one of our guard's hometowns. I wish I could tell him how beautiful it still is, and how incredibly hospitable the people there are. I bet that the curry and dahl I had eaten without a second thought is the meal he misses the most. Had I told him these things, I believe that he would have savoured every last word, just for a taste of home. 

...

It's a world out there, of people. 

Isn't it amazing that there exists a place that is so entirely different from what I consider home.. yet it is the only home for somebody else?

...

I think that I have fallen irrevocably in love with this world I live in. 

I have fallen in love with diversity, with people, with life and with the opportunity to live for but a moment in someone else's home.

I am as blessed as ever. :)

Love,

Dice

Devotion

"It is My joy to carry you on My back."

Wow. 

2014

It didn't feel the same as last year.

Last year, I was so ready and felt completely prepared to leap into the new year. I was eager for the new, the change, the better.

But.. this time, as praise went on in church during Thanksgiving service, I realised that I was still holding on to 2013, too afraid to let go.

Perhaps it was just a feeling I couldn't shake for some reason. Perhaps too much had happened in the span of this one year and it was merely overwhelming me then. Perhaps it was because there are many changes to be expected next year, as well as many new challenges to undertake. Or perhaps, it were the echoes of the future that I've been feeling in my spirit, and the fear of the unknown.

I closed my eyes and prayed.

And then this memory came to mind - while I was on holiday in Bali with my family, we visited a temple with an incredible sea view that came along with aggressive monkeys infamous for grabbing people's things. Personally, I have a huge dislike for monkeys after having been chased by one many years before, so I did not look forward to this experience at all. Upon entering this place, all us girls in the family wanted to stick close to my dad, because we were sure that being close to him in a monkey-infested area meant we'd be safe, and protected, and that there would be absolutely no need to fear as long as we could hold on to him.

Likewise, my Heavenly Father was assuring me that I could stick close with Him throughout 2014, and no matter what it was that scared me or wanted to break me in this time, He would fight them off for me and remain by my side to walk with me always. I just have to keep looking forward and bravely continue going.

...

I'll be okay. :) I'll be okay.

2014.. is going to be even better still.

Blessed New Year,
Dice

Life Lessons Learnt #4

Don't break. Stretch.

This one I am still learning.