"Tell your stories, cause they speak not of you but they speak of Me."
Camp was a downright mindblowing experience for me. On more than one occasion i have said, if for JUST this moment here, i will still have packed my bags and came to camp. i know i write about events in my life a lot, and to someone who does not share the same faith it would be just boring or irritating, but i challenge you to read my account of camp today, since you're already here anyways. dare you?
my favourite part of camp was the last night session as everyone was getting ready and lining up to go for the prayer tunnel. for those of you who don't know what a prayer tunnel is, it's where all the leaders line up in two rows facing each other and people go through that 'tunnel' and have hands laid on them and prophetic words spoken over their lives. but not all the amazing blessing came from the tunnel alone. i was so humbled to see people who were waiting to go in pray for one another and carry each other as we believe for breakthrough. i have never seen such a beautiful sight and God's presence was just soaking through that entire place and the atmosphere was just filled with holiness and man, i can't even describe it. i was so especially blessed by ern ying's prayer for me before i entered the tunnel as she spoke words of life that were so so timely for me, reminding me of who God really is and to receive the plans God has for me cause that will affect the lives of so many other people as well who would be impacted by my life. and in the tunnel, a particular prophetic word saying God has given you a warrior's spirit, keep fighting felt so on-the-spot and just wow. after going through it, i took a seat nearby and just watched as more people went through the tunnel, sang along quietly to the worship music, basked in Hid glorious presence and felt such an overwhelming sense of fullness and peace. i was so drawn to God's presence in that place, to the sound of faith rising up louder and louder as people were praying in tongues and others were responding as God was moving in their lives. Gosh i really can't describe the wonder i felt at that time, and i thought to myself, God, you must be so proud of your people right now. and i meant it not a way intended for self-glorification but in one of honour, where people were just carrying one another in faith and as an army we rose to worship the God of the universe. just wow. mind blowing. :)
and as i sat there i knew that i want God more. i want Him more than good grades, more than anyone else, just so much more and i fell in love with Him all over again that night. and i find it so amazing that it's not only me that was doing so, and it made me realize that everyone is still here, still worshipping because we have all had that love encounter with God that is more real than.. other real things in our lives. God's overwhelming love for us can't be described you know, it must be experienced and when you do experience that, when God draws in and just POURS OUT HIS LOVE on you, you'll never be the same ever. that night, i saw people rising up to fight the devil by declaring things over their lives, i saw lives rededicated to God.that night, i saw grown men cry, broken on their knees before their Saviour, in a deeply personal relationship with Him too. i was so blown away and humbled by this, and truly, real men fight on their knees.
and to people who think of me as overly religious or 'too into it', which is okay, an honour even i suppose, my only response is that... i love my God more than life and He deserves it, that and so much more. i wouldn't have missed this camp experience for the world. i find myself growing in God again, in a whole new level and this time it feels so different cause my growth is out of love. out of just being so crazy in love with Him and having Him love me so passionately as well. hahah i keep getting a loss for words.
but overall i learnt SO MUCH from this camp, not just from the last night.
ooh one thing that became clear for me. lately i have been very troubled by God's revelation that He has big plans for me. like BIG. and i keep getting that impression and then freaking out because i'm afraid it's too big for me. it doesn't really make much sense i guess, but i was very troubled by this, and as much as my heart burns to rise up, to do greater things for God's kingdom, i did not feel ready at all and things feel like they're already moving too fast. but then i had such a God moment and it hit me that the reason i don't feel ready to do all those things for god is because the i am not yet the girl in my future. i'm not at the level of spiritual faith and growth she's in, and it's gonna take a lot of hard work to get to that place and to watch God move in my life every step of the way.
other than that, the other moment i felt so poignant was when we gave jon the ipad 2 we got him, and the scrapbook. the plan was to get a non ulu13 member pass the ipad to him and say eh you know who's this is ar? why have your name on it wan? so we were all just sitting around him 'chilling' as this guy acts the scene for us and we all just move in excited and all, awaiting his reaction. he was absolutely speechless, just smiling in a very moved sorta way, and it just felt so amazing being able to honour him like that and thank him for everything he's done for us. just for that moment in seeing his reaction to the ipad first then the scrapbook with our pictures, notes and love, it was already worth going to camp for man.. i absolutely love this kingdom culture of honouring like what scott and the rest of planetuni did for pastor matt today and just thanked him for being such a spiritual dad to the whole ministry and to see pastor matt's humbled speechless expression.. i just love it so much man, that there was so much beauty and supernaturalness in us practicing the culture of honour and it felt so holy that moment. so outta this world. many eyes teared up throughout, including mine man. :') but yea anyways back to jon, we were all pleasantly surprised back with a handwritten letter afterwards and i was so so excited to read mine but sad too, cause once you read a letter, it's like.. read you know. hahah. and to be honest the first time i read it, i was like.. ohh. erm okay. that's what jon wanted to say? but.. i read it again. and again. and again. and somewhere between the second and third time i read his words, i got it. and suddenly i saw his huge heart and personal-ness in the words he was saying specifically to me and that even in leaving he was still discipling us to grow more. that letter is definitely one of my absolute favourites that i have ever received now, and i will always treasure those words a lot, as a starting point to grow and also a place to look back on for encouragement in tough times.
thank you jon, for everything if you're reading this. you have made SUCH a big impact on my life and taught me so much about life and people and i want to be able to pass that on to other people i come into contact with in the future. life back in malaysia is gonna be so amazing for you as God keeps molding you and expanding you and i am very excited for what is to come for you. thanks so so much. :)
oh and i loved the fellowship in camp too. the crazy morning dance battle in room 41, the late night awkward matters talk, the games, the encouragements to study, the one on ones and how my urban life has become so much like a second family to me. everyone, and even those people i am less close to have become people that mean the world to me and i thank God for every decision i made along the way that brought me to this place, of having the best brothers and sisters in Christ, like minded with one goal and eagerness to serve each other in love. AWESOME!
*picture soon!*
yea.. that's all for now though i have so much more to sayy! will update this soon.
love HEAPSICUM,
candice :D
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