We Are The Answer

The moment God said to me with pride, "And THIS, is what I created you for."

(The most unattractive picture of me in my PNG collection, one that got Pearly to very humorously respond "OMG. You should never show anyone that picture. I can't express how bad that is!" But, I like the quirkiness of it, for after all, it is a privilege to be completely myself and have a picture to remember it by. :) )

For me, that moment happened sometime ago in a secluded village in Papua New Guinea. Many days, I wish I was still there, where I know in my heart I am meant to be.. and yet, I find myself here. Crouched over my books trying and trying to stuff information in. It is so much more difficult than I ever expected and I cannot say that the idea of giving up has never crossed my mind before.

But.. I've had enough of my whining. I've had enough of thinking that I cannot do this. Enough is enough.

In this life, I think that I have been extremely blessed to have felt God's call even in my mid-teenage years. He sowed dreams in me, and set my heart ablaze for these people that I have never even met before. He sent people to prophesy great things over my life, and challenged me greatly along the way to build me up for that incredible future He's been whispering to me about.That reason alone should be sufficient to drive me harder and further into giving my best where I am now.

I'm not ready to be sent out now. I need to learn more, grow more, and become strengthened more through adversity. And so I write this, to remind myself, that greater things are at stake if I do not give more now in this season. My life was never meant to be about me, but for my future patients, mentees, friends.

"If you are sitting on your gift, you are jeopardizing someone else's future."
- The pastor in the Mighty Men video

I am strong. And like Papa said, I know that I will be victorious. :)

Fighter

"So no, I can't let that fighting spirit die. Not even if I have to fight like hell to keep that fighting spirit alive.

I cannot let myself be defined by the voices of those around me. I cannot afford to.
My only identity should come from the voice of God, telling me I am precious, I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I am loved.

I cannot run from my problems, I need to find the courage to face them, and start dealing with it from the bottom.

I cannot keep believing the lies intended to bring me down.

I cannot break down, and I won't.

I will fight."
- December 2011

Thank you for that, I really needed it. 
And thank you God, for leading me to the words of that young girl, maybe I am still more like her than I thought. But I know that You will pull me through, just as You pulled her through whatever it was she was going through then. I know that You are a faithful God. And I know, that if You are on my side, I need not fear anything at all. :) 

"I call out the fighter in you. Don't give up now, for I never once stopped believing that you would be victorious."
- Papa, at Carer's Discipleship

"The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the path of righteousness
For His name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
Your rod and Your staff, 
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me 
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord,
Forever."
- Psalm 23

Greater things are yet to come,

Dice 

Validation

Beautiful, simply because I take after my Father in Heaven,
and
Precious, only because He loves me so well.

Been having a pretty bad case of writer's block lately, but I'll be back here soon I hope! :)