Identity

Yesterday, after a powerful time of worship, I wrote this in my journal.

"As children, we needed a lot of love to grow, and to be free to discover our identity. Not everyone may know that they are that blessed to have a Father in Heaven who loves them more than life itself.

I am who I am today because I am well loved by the King, because I have realised that I live right in the center of His adoration."

Some people often refer to me as sunshine, and tell me that I love people well. For a long time, I have known that I am able to be that person because of the love I have received from above all, God, but also the people around me. He reminded me of that again yesterday, and I felt so.. free. It's like, I'm completely free to find myself or grow into who I want to be because I have the love and support of my Father. I am able to give because He has given me much and I am able to love because I have received the most extravagant love from Him. 

 I am but a little girl who dances so free in this life as her Father watches in great pleasure.

I thought that was a thought worth sharing. :)

Also, this time last year, many people around me noticed the weight upon my shoulders, some through simple observation and others through spiritual revelation. It was not just me who realised the grave tiredness in my spirit. However, I am happy to say that this time around, things are so different. My chapter 2 is here, and it is already blowing my mind. There is this incredible joy in me that feels like it needs to overflow, because I can't contain it anymore. I feel constantly happy and grateful for the beauty all around me. God has been so so kind. And yesterday, I remembered the prophecy Pegs made over me at camp last year. This, God revealed to her about me:

"I see bubbles. In fact, I feel it, bubbling from your stomach. Joy is going to overflow from you. The Holy Spirit is going to fill you and overflow."

I am incredibly amazed at how much more true that word turned out to be than I expected. Like.. to the point where I have begun to laugh in worship. SERIOUSLY! All my Christian life, I have been the ultimate crybaby in the presence of God. When I feel Him in a room, my eyes become a broken pipe and I just.. cry, as I take it all in. Even Ying agreed and told someone yesterday that whenever worship began and you could hear someone sobbing, it was usually me. This year, something strange happened. I've begun to laugh when His presence overwhelms me. The joy just NEEDS to be expressed somehow. I've heard it happen to many people, so it's not that strange. Still, it is an exciting and fresh new experience for me!

And He said to me:

"Use your joy. I created you to love my people. Shine into the darkness. When people encounter your love, they will encounter Me."

Just.. wow. I am expecting a very amazing year, full of miracles and breakthrough and freedom all around. God is so good, and I know that He is up there saying "you ain't seen nothing yet baby!" Haha.  :) 

Will be keeping you posted,

Candice

Today

Today is just one of those days.

The kind of day where I am so in love with life, for no particular reason. To be excited from seeing my favourite plant in the hospital,  to laugh at jokes that are not funny, to feel inner joy overflowing, to learn much from fellow comrades and to realize how enormously and overly blessed I am to be here, and to be alive.. that kind of day.

T'was a good day, and I am so thankful for it. :)

Theme Song for 2013

Snapshot

There are some moments in life in which you never forget.
I call it a snapshot, because for me it is like a picture that remains embedded into memory for good. It is not something I choose to do, but rather a reflex when I encounter a moment that I consider very precious.

My most recent snapshot happened yesterday, where a mother was embracing her sick daughter, wishing she could make the pain go away. 

Where I Live

Church was so good today. I love that as I have grown, I have become more sensitive to the presence of God, so much so that just being in a room full of worshipful hearts and heartfelt prayer is enough to move me to tears. It is because I know that our worship attracts His attention and therefore, He is there where the name of Jesus is lifted up on high. :) I know this in my head and feel Him by my spirit.

I have been feeling extremely blessed lately. One after another these blessings come rolling in, and I KNOW so surely that it is only the beginning.

Every day, I am so humbled by Your grace towards me Papa. I am so thankful to live right in the center of Your goodness.

"Never let the harsh and cold wetness of perceived reality douse the fire within your soul that says "There is MORE to life than this, and I know I can attain it.""
- Anonymous

With much love,
Dice

It's All About.. People

I've been going around the wards and meeting patients for five days now. I am so thankful to be given this opportunity to pursue this career because everyday I meet someone new, be it a staff member or patient, who inspires me and adds some of their flavour to my life. I love it.

Over the past five days, I have met people who had much regret in their life. Others knew what they wanted out of life, and lived in the pursuit of love, joy and contentment. Some were dying and saying goodbye. I have met mothers, fathers, daughters, husbands, grandparents.. but some people were all alone too. While illness pushed some people to frustration and anger, I learnt from a few others that accepting it will give you more time to make amends and live fully. Some people are kind, some are funny while others can be a bit grumpy, understandably. Being around them has also shown me, that we all end the same way, and that all life eventually comes to an end. I have learnt to realise early what I want out of life and to pursue it so that when my time comes, I can be someone who isn't afraid to leave this life behind.

People come in all shapes and sizes, with varied thoughts and ideas about what life really is all about. No two people are ever the same and yet.. we are all still more alike than we think. We may make different choices along the way, but at the end of the day, we all breathe, we all live, and we all learn. We may look different on the outside, but on the inside our hearts beat the same and our blood is the same colour. We are.. people.

However, in the busy-ness of life, I think that we so easily forget to appreciate that. We too easily forget to be curious about the stories of others (where appropriate), to be amazed by the courage of strangers, to be willing to learn new lessons and be inspired to become better people. I believe that the people we encounter every day have a sort of magic to them, fire in their soul and untapped potential. What a pity it would be, if I were to miss out on that. What a shame, to live and never realise that I live on the edge of the ordinary, and that if I were to only open my eyes and heart towards the world much bigger, I would see that everything is extraordinary, and that there is beauty all around me.

I don't ever want to treat my profession as just another job, and I definitely never want to forget that people are so, so beautiful. I hope that you never do either.

Cause, what IS life all about, if it isn't about people?

Love as always,
Dice

The Heart Behind Romance

For Valentine's Day this year, all I wanted was to see someone receive a HUGE, romantic gesture. I'm perfectly happy and content to be without any plans of my own, but I did in fact, want to see a friend or someone get flowers for the first time, or be so spoiled for the day. Something like that.

Today, as I made my way to the wards, I saw an old couple walking hand in hand. The woman was especially frail, and bald underneath her little knit cap too. And yet, they walked together slowly, as if they had all the time in the world to spend together. I walked slowly behind them for a while, simply so touched by witnessing a love so pure. The woman then turned and smiled at me, asking if I wanted to get ahead of them. I didn't want to, but I did since they moved aside anyways. They both had the most beautiful smiles stretched across their faces, and I couldn't help but smile back at them and wish them a nice day.

I didn't actually expect much out of this desire to witness a hugely romantic act this Valentine's Day, but what I received, though a day early, was much much more than I expected.

I am so so blessed. :)

An Arranged Marriage

The other night, as we prepared for our CNY feast on Saturday, Tonia and I started to talk about life and God, and whatever came to mind really. And she asked me,

How did you come to know God?

I paused before offering a reply. Growing up, my answer has always been that when I entered Youth Church, I sort of just grew into it, and that I don't remember an exact moment whereby I decided to give my life up for Christ.

I didn't grow up in a Christian home, but my mother brought me and my sisters to church when we were younger out of the belief that we would learn to be good children, and good people. I wasn't too into it at first and eventually stopped going. One day, my sister received and invitation to go back to church and as the eager younger sister, I tagged along. I remember her remarking in amazement that people were so nice and a lot of them still remembered her despite us not going for years at that point. I stayed in Children Church that first year, but what stood out for me was watching the amazing change that happened in her life. I saw how God moved her heart.

Then, a year later, I myself moved on to Youth Church and somehow.. I found myself growing and changing too. As I told Tonia this story, it suddenly hit me.

"It was as if.. it was an arranged marriage. I caught myself falling in love with this amazing God who never left my side."

God predestined me to be there at that time, I know that now. As I began to attend regularly and learn more about Jesus, as I went through difficult teenage years with Him, as I saw Him move in my life and experienced firsthand His overwhelming love, I fell in love. Simple as that.

...

Seven years down the road, and I have no regrets. I did not get bored with 'Christianity'. Instead, I got to live out what truly was.. a beautiful adventure. I have experienced His grace in my shortcomings, and His peace in my storm. He still continues to amaze me day after day, without fail.

See the thing is, when you really encounter for yourself the love of God, everything changes. I have heard that experience described as "finally living for the first time" and that is exactly how it was for me too. He is such a good God, and He loves my socks off.

And this is the story, of the very best thing that has ever happened to me. :)

Be blessed,
Candice

Want To

But more so, I feel God say this to me.

"Let this world know Me by your love."

And This I Told Myself

Remember.

Remember what it is that you want.
Remember that this is the life you chose.

Remember what you have been through and the prophecies that have been declared over you.

Remember, and fight for your dream.

P.S: Check this out, I can't wait to watch it. :)

Because He Said So

Today, as I sat and worried about how I would get to the hospital for my 7am surgical rounds, I realized this..

 My God will provide.

He hasn't failed me yet, and time and time again He has been so so faithful to me. I would even go so far as to say that He spoils me. :) On numerous occasions already has He stepped in and provided in very subtle ways exactly what I needed, be it finances, food, items, listening ear, new challenges.. I'll never forget the time I had such a crappy day and my bag was becoming extremely dirty and tatty, and that day itself, Dys decided to bless me with a brand new bag and an encouraging letter.

And just being in Frankston now makes me feel like.. He thought of me so much, because the longer I spend there, the more I realize that it is the perfect place for me to be now. Competition between students are heaps less, and I am able to learn things slowly and at my own pace, and people are so so friendly. Furthermore, I worried for a bit about making new friends too but never even raised that to God, and yet.. He provided extravagantly once more.

My point is.. I'm learning to believe for bigger things yet at the same time being content with what He gives me. I am already so blessed to have a carpool going on. Maybe throughout the year, He'll send someone to bless me with a car. Or if not, perhaps He will provide people for me to meet as I journey there by other means, people to inspire or be inspired by.

This I know, He will provide.
And though I know not yet how, this is enough reason for me to rejoice and give thanks for. :)

"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?

Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to your stature?

So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field; how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

Therefore, do not worry, saying "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we wear?" or "What shall we drink?" For after all these things the Gentiles seek. 

For your Heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these will be added unto you."

- Matthew 6:25-33

In the one month plus that I have been living in 2013, and especially since I got back into routine, I've been sensing that this year will be a year of favour and change. I feel amazing right now, like I literally feel that I'm walking in God-ordained steps and enjoying His promises every step of the way, even when things don't go the way I expected them to. And I feel like things are just going to snowball and amaze me even more with each new day. My God is so good to me. :)

Tis' gonna be a good year, and I declare that over your life too. :)

With much love,
Candice