"Well,"he sighed, "Hurt people hurt people."
...
I remembered those words as I cried over the smashed back window of my car last night.
It was a mistake on my part to leave my large bag of hospital stuff in the back seat, but I genuinely thought I had covered it enough, that no one would think to take it and that it was dark and late anyways.
Yea, I was wrong about that.
What hurt the most though, was that I had a lot of valuables in that bag - not the kind the people who took them would be interested in, but things that were extremely precious to me.
My Bible - This was from my mum when I was a kid, and it has been with me through many years, many struggles, many joys, many faith struggles of waiting for promises to come to pass. I have spent time wondering who I could gift it to in the future when my time is up even, but I guess this one will be going somewhere else instead.
My notebook - This was a gift from my mentor Rach, one of my absolute favourite presents ever with a long handwritten encouragement in the front. It contained so much of my journey and God encounters over the past few months too.
My stethoscope - This was my graduation gift from my parents, and my first one as a real doctor too.
My ring - This was a gift from a missionary at a mission's conference at Stairway church that I went for, which has always been a precious reminder of the destiny before me and the kindness and obedience of strangers.
My ballet shoes - Shoes I've had since I was a teenager, and shoes I have recently tried on once more in hopes of re-learning ballet once again.
My jumper - Bea che got me this from Country Road because it had a big C on it, and it's been one of my favourites.
My tissue holder - Mama made this for me for my tissues so they don't keep spilling out the packet. It's got beads on it and a really girly colourful print. I remember this one time we went on a road trip and I chucked a whole bunch of my stuff in Wen Shi's bag, and when he wanted to take stuff out of his bag and saw it, he exclaimed, "The hell do I have in my bag???"
My library book - Which I'm going to need to replace.
My bag - This Forever New bag was from daddy, who kept insisting to buy me a new bag that I liked that wasn't cheap and poorly made.
My hospital ID - My very first tag that said Dr Candice Toh, and the name tag I successfully kept after my ED rotation even though I was supposed to return it.
...
I've lost a lot of precious things in the smash, and grieved thoroughly for them last night.
But you know what? It made me realise the things that I do have in my life too, far, far more precious things than material items.
I have family that I can call after midnight in tears who would leave home to make a police report for me even though they had a baby to take care of, and help me clean up the mess too.
I have friends who would help my sister babysit and comfort me in the carpark as I cried.
I have people in my life who are praying for me to get through this and faithing for the return of my items.
I have an incredibly supportive work environment that even on a Sunday, two people from work have already replied my messages and are helping me to sort out my missing ID.
Even though I have lost precious things, I haven't lost the precious people that gave those things to me, and the memory of these things will be remembered forever.
...
"When treated with slander, you respond with kind words."
- 1 Corinthians 4:13
This was prophesied over me a few weeks ago by a missionary friend of my mentor, who I have never met before.
I feel like the world, or my flesh even, if demanding a response from me that is anger, fear, disappointment in God, negativity and hatred.
But my God who has been slandered far more than me and carried a heavy wooden cross as He was broken and bruised up to Calvary, that God, has still been able to love the people who did it to Him with so much genuine passion.
And that's how I know that I can rise above this too, and that I have the strength to respond with kind words and a fresh hope, because Jesus lives in me.
...
To the hurt person who smashed my window in search for something that can be exchanged for money, I pray you find hope. I pray my Bible touches you more than anything else in that bag, that you would know that despite the mess you are living in, that Jesus loves you too. And I pray that peace would come and overwhelm your heart, turn you from your ways, and set you on a path of living a life that would make a positive impact on this generation. You are so much more than you have settled to be. You are worth so much more than you believe. Life doesn't have to be like this, and I pray, oh how I pray, that you would one day soon be able to experience real fullness in life that only God can provide.
I forgive you.
...
I remembered those words as I cried over the smashed back window of my car last night.
It was a mistake on my part to leave my large bag of hospital stuff in the back seat, but I genuinely thought I had covered it enough, that no one would think to take it and that it was dark and late anyways.
Yea, I was wrong about that.
What hurt the most though, was that I had a lot of valuables in that bag - not the kind the people who took them would be interested in, but things that were extremely precious to me.
My Bible - This was from my mum when I was a kid, and it has been with me through many years, many struggles, many joys, many faith struggles of waiting for promises to come to pass. I have spent time wondering who I could gift it to in the future when my time is up even, but I guess this one will be going somewhere else instead.
My notebook - This was a gift from my mentor Rach, one of my absolute favourite presents ever with a long handwritten encouragement in the front. It contained so much of my journey and God encounters over the past few months too.
My stethoscope - This was my graduation gift from my parents, and my first one as a real doctor too.
My ring - This was a gift from a missionary at a mission's conference at Stairway church that I went for, which has always been a precious reminder of the destiny before me and the kindness and obedience of strangers.
My ballet shoes - Shoes I've had since I was a teenager, and shoes I have recently tried on once more in hopes of re-learning ballet once again.
My jumper - Bea che got me this from Country Road because it had a big C on it, and it's been one of my favourites.
My tissue holder - Mama made this for me for my tissues so they don't keep spilling out the packet. It's got beads on it and a really girly colourful print. I remember this one time we went on a road trip and I chucked a whole bunch of my stuff in Wen Shi's bag, and when he wanted to take stuff out of his bag and saw it, he exclaimed, "The hell do I have in my bag???"
My library book - Which I'm going to need to replace.
My bag - This Forever New bag was from daddy, who kept insisting to buy me a new bag that I liked that wasn't cheap and poorly made.
My hospital ID - My very first tag that said Dr Candice Toh, and the name tag I successfully kept after my ED rotation even though I was supposed to return it.
...
I've lost a lot of precious things in the smash, and grieved thoroughly for them last night.
But you know what? It made me realise the things that I do have in my life too, far, far more precious things than material items.
I have family that I can call after midnight in tears who would leave home to make a police report for me even though they had a baby to take care of, and help me clean up the mess too.
I have friends who would help my sister babysit and comfort me in the carpark as I cried.
I have people in my life who are praying for me to get through this and faithing for the return of my items.
I have an incredibly supportive work environment that even on a Sunday, two people from work have already replied my messages and are helping me to sort out my missing ID.
Even though I have lost precious things, I haven't lost the precious people that gave those things to me, and the memory of these things will be remembered forever.
...
"When treated with slander, you respond with kind words."
- 1 Corinthians 4:13
This was prophesied over me a few weeks ago by a missionary friend of my mentor, who I have never met before.
I feel like the world, or my flesh even, if demanding a response from me that is anger, fear, disappointment in God, negativity and hatred.
But my God who has been slandered far more than me and carried a heavy wooden cross as He was broken and bruised up to Calvary, that God, has still been able to love the people who did it to Him with so much genuine passion.
And that's how I know that I can rise above this too, and that I have the strength to respond with kind words and a fresh hope, because Jesus lives in me.
...
To the hurt person who smashed my window in search for something that can be exchanged for money, I pray you find hope. I pray my Bible touches you more than anything else in that bag, that you would know that despite the mess you are living in, that Jesus loves you too. And I pray that peace would come and overwhelm your heart, turn you from your ways, and set you on a path of living a life that would make a positive impact on this generation. You are so much more than you have settled to be. You are worth so much more than you believe. Life doesn't have to be like this, and I pray, oh how I pray, that you would one day soon be able to experience real fullness in life that only God can provide.
I forgive you.
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