i love that church is a place for broken people. that nobody is too bad to be loved by God. it isn't about perfection, it's about grace. God's grace upon a sinful people. :)
When Jesus heard this, he told them, "Healthy people don't need a doctor--sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners."
- Mark 2:17
love,
candice
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
let faith arise
Beautiful Woman was incredibly AWESOME! the first night was already so amazing, from the beginning of worship to the very end, and i am so amazed by how personal my God is. struggling with various insecurities (struggled!), i heard God whisper to me today, I love you, I love you, I love you. and i think of all the days i've listened to the enemy's lies that i wasn't loved, that i've messed up one too many times for God's complete forgiveness and i feel.. empowered. stronger. rooted in what i believe in, in what i know to be the truth. God's presence was SO TANGIBLE in that place tonight, throughout the message, He was stirring in that place, breaking bondages and setting people free from the clutches of the enemy. I am just blown away by our God that loves so extravagantly and cares so deeply.
I just wanted to share some of my favourite quotes throughout this weekend:
There's this song we sing that has this line - "You are everything to Me." and everytime i hear it, i feel like God's saying that to me.
When you have begin to have something real with God, He will challenge and mess up the comfort you have substituted for a relationship with Him.
He DESIRES a relationship with you deeply!
*When God encounters you, He always leaves you uncomfortable (happy-scared!). So you're gonna need to pray hard! "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" - Philippians 4:13 You have to be disconnected from the familiar to be connected to the divine.
*Don't look back, if your eyes connect back to where you came from, you get pulled back to who you were.
Sometimes if you would be great in God, you've got to keep moving forward even if your heart is breaking behind you, even if your emotions are raging, and not look back. God knows the plans He has for you and they are BIGGER and BETTER than what you left behind!
It will never be the right time, we just gotta go!
To be a vessel for God's healing and power to come through.
You can never conquer what you won't confront.
*One praying woman can BREAK the hand of the devil upon the people she loves. One praying woman can change a city!
The devil is afraid when you really get serious with praying cause that's when you'll defeat him! A place of prayer is enough to kill the enemy!
*You just need to BELIEVE the Scripture you know.
.. and that's just some! like if i could tell you all i experienced and learnt... just WHOA. still amazed. :P
* 1 - this was such familiar territory yet it rung as such a true reminder. i remember sharing about this in cg and i actually said.. "you know what guys, the harder the better, if it means i'll get to experience God in the midst of all that". and as soon as i left a place of comfort, it became difficult to believe that again. it became so easy to just not wanna pray, not wanna talk, and looking back i see the influence the enemy had on me then, to unleash my laziness and all. but now.. as i remember what i asked God for all that time ago, i know that deep down, i want to pray the same prayer again. Lord, push me to that place of total dependence on You, to a place where i know that i cannot do anything if it wasn't Your gentle hands guiding me and strengthening me. Make me uncomfortable Lord, if it's what it takes to make me grow. Thanks God, for letting me eat my words and learn a valuable lesson once again. :)
* 2 - In line with this Pastor Chris Hill said, "i refuse to be sad forever!" which made me think of how much of my heart i left behind in malaysia, in my past. i'm always whining about how much i miss home that i was blinded to the beauty and amazing people God put before me here, to the joy He's made available for me if i would only get over myself and let go and move forward. now, in no way is moving forward to me forgetting the amazing people i had to part with, but to me it's more not letting my past joys cause me present pain. and consequently, (or not so, cause it's all in God's hands.. ;) ), that morning i had such a fun time getting mini melts with my uni friends, and just soaking in all the laughter and happiness of the present moment. just talking, and opening up again once more, determined to make the best out of where God has put me now. and when i learn to actually appreciate all these people in my life, i find that i am happy. i AM. :)
sonia missed out on the picture though! :( but ah well, she was bunches of fun to watch ridiculous youtube videos with. :P DESPONDEX!
and gosh not to mention these awesome girls (+ ernying, pearly and ann ee) who are just complete blessings in my life, along with the rest of ULU-13. i really thank God for these godly role models in my life, people i admire so much and who make me feel so so at home everytime. it was really great spending this time in beautiful woman with you all! <3 <3 <3
* 3 - i forgot the power of prayer. like.. i really forgot. so many times when i felt so helpless, i did everything but pray. and now i remember, the peace i get when i'm in a real conversation with God when we're alone, the security and affirmation that everything's gonna be alright. :) i've decided to pick it up again, and to fast from facebook too for the next 40 days. facebook is ridonkulous in taking up my time man.. so yea. challenge for me. :) and i'll never forget to take advantage of the absolute privilege i have to be directly connected to God, as His daughter and baby girl. :) i'm gonna keep praying and believing for a breakthrough, and when it comes i KNOW it will come with a double portion. AMEN!
* 4 - i've been believing a lot of lies in my head and now only do i see how strongly and truly the Scripture i know in my head and heart contradicts those thoughts. so these are the truths i will hold on to more strongly from now on.
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
- Romans 8:38-39
"Now to him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen."
- Ephesians 3:20-21
"..casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you."
- 1 Peter 5:7
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
- Jeremiah 29:11
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast."
- Ephesians 2:8-9
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful"
- Psalm 139:14
and reinforcing this now, i won't be fooled into thinking that i am not good enough, or unloved, or will never be strong enough to carry out God's will over my life, or believe that i'm not gonna make it through med school or whatever else circumstance comes my way because GREATER IS HE WHO IS IN ME!
i guess to many who've never experienced God in this way before, it's difficult to believe that people could be so.. tethered and drawn to an invisible God. but it takes more that seeing to be visible , and real in a person's life. i feel God when He's around me, i know He always is but when i really tune in to that, i can feel Him so real, so true, so loving in my life. and once you know that sort of love He has for you, that deep, immeasurable love that was shown so sacrificial when Jesus died on the cross for our sins that we may be set free, when you really realize that, you'll see that everything else pales in comparison to the everlasting God. there's NO ONE like God, and nothing like His love, and believing that His plans over my life are gonna be greater than i've ever imagined.
i'm not afraid anymore, for now at least but i have the weapons i need to kill the fear should it arise again! for now, i'm not afraid of the future anymore, not afraid of the bad decisions i might make in the future, cause God's holding my hand and leading me into my anointing, my future, my inheritance as a daughter of the Most High King.
God He's awesome! :)
be blessed!! <3
candice :)
I just wanted to share some of my favourite quotes throughout this weekend:
There's this song we sing that has this line - "You are everything to Me." and everytime i hear it, i feel like God's saying that to me.
When you have begin to have something real with God, He will challenge and mess up the comfort you have substituted for a relationship with Him.
He DESIRES a relationship with you deeply!
*When God encounters you, He always leaves you uncomfortable (happy-scared!). So you're gonna need to pray hard! "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" - Philippians 4:13 You have to be disconnected from the familiar to be connected to the divine.
*Don't look back, if your eyes connect back to where you came from, you get pulled back to who you were.
Sometimes if you would be great in God, you've got to keep moving forward even if your heart is breaking behind you, even if your emotions are raging, and not look back. God knows the plans He has for you and they are BIGGER and BETTER than what you left behind!
It will never be the right time, we just gotta go!
To be a vessel for God's healing and power to come through.
You can never conquer what you won't confront.
*One praying woman can BREAK the hand of the devil upon the people she loves. One praying woman can change a city!
The devil is afraid when you really get serious with praying cause that's when you'll defeat him! A place of prayer is enough to kill the enemy!
*You just need to BELIEVE the Scripture you know.
.. and that's just some! like if i could tell you all i experienced and learnt... just WHOA. still amazed. :P
* 1 - this was such familiar territory yet it rung as such a true reminder. i remember sharing about this in cg and i actually said.. "you know what guys, the harder the better, if it means i'll get to experience God in the midst of all that". and as soon as i left a place of comfort, it became difficult to believe that again. it became so easy to just not wanna pray, not wanna talk, and looking back i see the influence the enemy had on me then, to unleash my laziness and all. but now.. as i remember what i asked God for all that time ago, i know that deep down, i want to pray the same prayer again. Lord, push me to that place of total dependence on You, to a place where i know that i cannot do anything if it wasn't Your gentle hands guiding me and strengthening me. Make me uncomfortable Lord, if it's what it takes to make me grow. Thanks God, for letting me eat my words and learn a valuable lesson once again. :)
* 2 - In line with this Pastor Chris Hill said, "i refuse to be sad forever!" which made me think of how much of my heart i left behind in malaysia, in my past. i'm always whining about how much i miss home that i was blinded to the beauty and amazing people God put before me here, to the joy He's made available for me if i would only get over myself and let go and move forward. now, in no way is moving forward to me forgetting the amazing people i had to part with, but to me it's more not letting my past joys cause me present pain. and consequently, (or not so, cause it's all in God's hands.. ;) ), that morning i had such a fun time getting mini melts with my uni friends, and just soaking in all the laughter and happiness of the present moment. just talking, and opening up again once more, determined to make the best out of where God has put me now. and when i learn to actually appreciate all these people in my life, i find that i am happy. i AM. :)
sonia missed out on the picture though! :( but ah well, she was bunches of fun to watch ridiculous youtube videos with. :P DESPONDEX!
and gosh not to mention these awesome girls (+ ernying, pearly and ann ee) who are just complete blessings in my life, along with the rest of ULU-13. i really thank God for these godly role models in my life, people i admire so much and who make me feel so so at home everytime. it was really great spending this time in beautiful woman with you all! <3 <3 <3
* 3 - i forgot the power of prayer. like.. i really forgot. so many times when i felt so helpless, i did everything but pray. and now i remember, the peace i get when i'm in a real conversation with God when we're alone, the security and affirmation that everything's gonna be alright. :) i've decided to pick it up again, and to fast from facebook too for the next 40 days. facebook is ridonkulous in taking up my time man.. so yea. challenge for me. :) and i'll never forget to take advantage of the absolute privilege i have to be directly connected to God, as His daughter and baby girl. :) i'm gonna keep praying and believing for a breakthrough, and when it comes i KNOW it will come with a double portion. AMEN!
* 4 - i've been believing a lot of lies in my head and now only do i see how strongly and truly the Scripture i know in my head and heart contradicts those thoughts. so these are the truths i will hold on to more strongly from now on.
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
- Romans 8:38-39
"Now to him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen."
- Ephesians 3:20-21
"..casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you."
- 1 Peter 5:7
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
- Jeremiah 29:11
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast."
- Ephesians 2:8-9
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful"
- Psalm 139:14
and reinforcing this now, i won't be fooled into thinking that i am not good enough, or unloved, or will never be strong enough to carry out God's will over my life, or believe that i'm not gonna make it through med school or whatever else circumstance comes my way because GREATER IS HE WHO IS IN ME!
i guess to many who've never experienced God in this way before, it's difficult to believe that people could be so.. tethered and drawn to an invisible God. but it takes more that seeing to be visible , and real in a person's life. i feel God when He's around me, i know He always is but when i really tune in to that, i can feel Him so real, so true, so loving in my life. and once you know that sort of love He has for you, that deep, immeasurable love that was shown so sacrificial when Jesus died on the cross for our sins that we may be set free, when you really realize that, you'll see that everything else pales in comparison to the everlasting God. there's NO ONE like God, and nothing like His love, and believing that His plans over my life are gonna be greater than i've ever imagined.
i'm not afraid anymore, for now at least but i have the weapons i need to kill the fear should it arise again! for now, i'm not afraid of the future anymore, not afraid of the bad decisions i might make in the future, cause God's holding my hand and leading me into my anointing, my future, my inheritance as a daughter of the Most High King.
God He's awesome! :)
be blessed!! <3
candice :)
Monday, July 18, 2011
more than one kind of family
i've been meaning to post about this for a while now. :) going back to crisis home after i came back was a nice experience! i love going there, the uncles are always so nice and friendly, no new picture with them with me sadly. i titled this post such cause every time i go there and see 10-12 grown men living together and caring for one another, it teaches me that indeed, there is more than one kind of family. definitely though, blood is thicker than water no doubt, to me my family will always have a special place in my heart like no other people. but, in the lives of those not as fortunate as i am to have such a family, i realize that blood is not all that defines family.
it's love that does. and as cheesy as that sounds, it's true. love, and mutual respect. and each time i'm there i just get so amazed by the beauty of the God in our human spirits, that enable us to love one another, bringing everyone to a higher place. just.. wow. :)
and on another note, i've been having these flutters of unspeakable joy when i see anyone rising up to do greater things, to grow in God and do so much more than i expected of them, and when i see or hear of God working in people to make them just.. so much more beautiful, bringing them to where they are today. i think that that's my amazement towards a beautiful God and His works in people. breathtaking. :)
guess those are some of the pretty random thoughts i had. 5 days to go till i leave home once more. :( thank you heaps to people who made the effort to see me while i was here, and i am deeply blessed to know each of you. i will miss you so much. <3
love,
candice
Sunday, July 17, 2011
plain truth
i felt like doing this today. just one-sentences of all i'm feeling right now.
1. I'm scared.
2. It's time for me to let go.
3. There are different things i can no longer expect from different people in my life now.
4. I miss a time when everything was almost perfect.
5. I don't see where my life is heading.
6. Time is moving too quickly.
7. Hold out for more.
8. I don't know if i'm doing the right thing.
9. When i can't hear You, i know You still hear every word i pray.
10. I wish i was stronger.
sigh.
but.. on another note, i wanna thank this amazing daughter of God that really gave me the enormous encouragement i needed exactly when i needed it most. Khaw Ai Mee, it's a true honour to know you at all. thank you. :) <3!
leaving once more,
candice
1. I'm scared.
2. It's time for me to let go.
3. There are different things i can no longer expect from different people in my life now.
4. I miss a time when everything was almost perfect.
5. I don't see where my life is heading.
6. Time is moving too quickly.
7. Hold out for more.
8. I don't know if i'm doing the right thing.
9. When i can't hear You, i know You still hear every word i pray.
10. I wish i was stronger.
sigh.
but.. on another note, i wanna thank this amazing daughter of God that really gave me the enormous encouragement i needed exactly when i needed it most. Khaw Ai Mee, it's a true honour to know you at all. thank you. :) <3!
leaving once more,
candice
Saturday, July 16, 2011
live laugh love pray
some days, i can't believe i'm only 17.
bring me joy
bring me peace
bring the chance to be free
bring me anything that brings You glory
and i know there'll be days
when this life brings me pain
but if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus bring the rain.
- Bring The Rain by Mercy Me
bring me joy
bring me peace
bring the chance to be free
bring me anything that brings You glory
and i know there'll be days
when this life brings me pain
but if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus bring the rain.
- Bring The Rain by Mercy Me
Thursday, July 14, 2011
just breathe
The thought that i held in for most of the day was..
Lord, i don't wanna go back yet.
i'm not ready to go back to melbourne. and i'm so so much more sad and scared this time around because i know what it's like there. i know that there are lonely nights i will have to face, days where i feel so so incredibly discouraged and moments i just wanna give up completely. now that i know that, i know exactly how much more i'm leaving behind. friends, family, freedom, home.
but i wanna dedicate this post to a special group of people very close to my heart. people i believe bring out some sort of best in me. hahah. i know i will miss them heaps when i'm there, thinking of the days we do silly things together. who's gonna sing loud off-key music with me in the car now? in whose car? where am i gonna find people who'd plan uber budget vacations we can all enjoy together and have the perfect mix to make the trip memorable? who's gonna play baseball with me with a cheapo 5-dollar plastic bat in the middle of nowhere? who's gonna scold me for being so irritating all the time? sigh.
people ask me a lot, you and your friends are pretty close huh? why ah, one year only! compared to other friends i've know for longer. but i think, it's chemistry. we all just fit somehow. and we make up for what one another lacks with different plus points and with this exact blend, we form a really amazing friendship. we've got crazy people and stern people, forever loud people and occasionally loud people, normal people and elena, and i'm just so thankful God let me meet them all. :)
i know i should be thankful. not so much upset because i have to leave now, but to be like, really thankful for every single happy memory they've given me and turn that into a sort of strength and reminder that our friendship is real and that there will be more good times to come when we reunite. i know i should live in the present moment, and be glad i had an awesome vacation and be refreshed to go back and study hard to fulfill my dreams and make my parents proud. but i'm not that strong. i'm not the kind of person that does well with a good vacation, cause it just makes it harder to go back to reality.
i guess i'm just whining now. i'm scared of what's to come, knowing there's tears and pain in the future but trying to be hopeful for even more good moments and joy in there too. melbourne's not ALL THAT BAD. there are good people there too, and life can be quite nice sometimes. i know i gotta go back, to learn even more, to meet the people God wants me to meet, to do His work there obediently and to just live out His will for me. i just hope now that i can shake the heaviness in my heart about this. help me Lord i pray.
and don't let me lose this girl either God. please. i just started to remember her.
still, thanks God. no matter how sucky things get, i know You'll be with me every step of the way. i know You're there in my every tear and every joy. that, i can always count on. :) just.. help me through the coming obstacles i pray.
i'm really gonna miss you people. i love you all to bits. :')
scared,
candice
Lord, i don't wanna go back yet.
i'm not ready to go back to melbourne. and i'm so so much more sad and scared this time around because i know what it's like there. i know that there are lonely nights i will have to face, days where i feel so so incredibly discouraged and moments i just wanna give up completely. now that i know that, i know exactly how much more i'm leaving behind. friends, family, freedom, home.
but i wanna dedicate this post to a special group of people very close to my heart. people i believe bring out some sort of best in me. hahah. i know i will miss them heaps when i'm there, thinking of the days we do silly things together. who's gonna sing loud off-key music with me in the car now? in whose car? where am i gonna find people who'd plan uber budget vacations we can all enjoy together and have the perfect mix to make the trip memorable? who's gonna play baseball with me with a cheapo 5-dollar plastic bat in the middle of nowhere? who's gonna scold me for being so irritating all the time? sigh.
people ask me a lot, you and your friends are pretty close huh? why ah, one year only! compared to other friends i've know for longer. but i think, it's chemistry. we all just fit somehow. and we make up for what one another lacks with different plus points and with this exact blend, we form a really amazing friendship. we've got crazy people and stern people, forever loud people and occasionally loud people, normal people and elena, and i'm just so thankful God let me meet them all. :)
i know i should be thankful. not so much upset because i have to leave now, but to be like, really thankful for every single happy memory they've given me and turn that into a sort of strength and reminder that our friendship is real and that there will be more good times to come when we reunite. i know i should live in the present moment, and be glad i had an awesome vacation and be refreshed to go back and study hard to fulfill my dreams and make my parents proud. but i'm not that strong. i'm not the kind of person that does well with a good vacation, cause it just makes it harder to go back to reality.
i guess i'm just whining now. i'm scared of what's to come, knowing there's tears and pain in the future but trying to be hopeful for even more good moments and joy in there too. melbourne's not ALL THAT BAD. there are good people there too, and life can be quite nice sometimes. i know i gotta go back, to learn even more, to meet the people God wants me to meet, to do His work there obediently and to just live out His will for me. i just hope now that i can shake the heaviness in my heart about this. help me Lord i pray.
and don't let me lose this girl either God. please. i just started to remember her.
still, thanks God. no matter how sucky things get, i know You'll be with me every step of the way. i know You're there in my every tear and every joy. that, i can always count on. :) just.. help me through the coming obstacles i pray.
i'm really gonna miss you people. i love you all to bits. :')
scared,
candice
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
courage
God, where do i go from here?
"You can't find what you're looking for if you don't know exactly what it is you want."
"You can't find what you're looking for if you don't know exactly what it is you want."
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