I stood at the entrance of the library today, under minimal shade as I stared at the rain, contemplating if a warm dinner was worth a very wet walk. I chose to walk, thinking that this was such bad luck, and as I was getting soaked from the rain because I forgot my umbrella yet again, I felt kinda bummed out. Where was the sunshine spring promised?
Yet, as I sat facing the large window and ate my warm dinner ten minutes later, I was reminded of how blessed I am. I looked out at the pouring rain with different eyes this time and saw how beautiful it was. Once I really got that, my spirits lifted and my quiet joy returned to me. Attitude is everything.
I faced my textbook today, and figured "I will never be able to remember all of this" "I can't do this" "I'm such a failure".. The abusive voice in my head has been taunting me, trying to convince me that I'll never succeed in this.
Yet, I started writing my notes. I began small, and learnt things bit by bit. As my page filled up and my mind started to remember more things, peace descended on me, and I knew, that God is and will always be on my side. I know that if I give Him my best right now, He will honour that. Attitude is everything.
Yesterday I walked home coughing, and I was feeling extremely frustrated with God. Where was this healing I was believing for? I know it was promised to me, and that God gave me the authority to heal the sick and raise the dead through Christ Jesus, and yet.. this ailment just would not go away. I didn't want to talk to Him anymore, so I went to sleep.
Yet, at night, I sat down with my Bible once more, despite how much I did not want to. And those words spoke right to me, and offered a comfort that surpassed all understanding. I felt my anger and exhaustion melt away as God gave me the strength to go on for just one more day. I'm still believing for amazing things to come my way, for I spent all year listening to those promises. I've just got to make a choice every morning, to give praise anyways, to see the beauty in life anyways, and to give my best in all I do now anyways.
Maybe, the biggest gift He had planned for me all along was.. me, an older, stronger, tougher version that has finally learnt to thank God for even just a single ray of sunshine during a raging storm.
Attitude, is everything.
"Anyone who trusts in Him will never be put to shame."
- Romans 10:11
On another note, I've been catching up with a really dear friend lately, and she offered me such encouragement in just two sentences. It really makes me wonder, who do people see when they look at me? Is there more to me than I let myself believe sometimes? For a while now, the words that I've been using to describe myself were more along the lines of struggling, waiting, tired, fearful, weak, stupid. Not always, so don't worry too much! But still, those words are quite constantly at the back of my mind. And yet, people have been telling me words like strong, with much potential, self-sustaining with God, encouraging, amazing, highly favoured, steadfast.
Perhaps, in life, when we begin to lose faith in ourselves, we should allow ourselves to rely on the positive things that others say. When the eyes looking at ourselves are full of judgment, maybe then, it is time to close them, and believe in what other people see instead.
"You are good, You are good, and Your love endures."
- Let Your Glory Fall by Matt Redman
"And Joshua said unto them, "Sanctify yourselves, for tomorrow, the Lord will do wonders among you."
- Joshua 3:5
With love,
Dice
Yet, as I sat facing the large window and ate my warm dinner ten minutes later, I was reminded of how blessed I am. I looked out at the pouring rain with different eyes this time and saw how beautiful it was. Once I really got that, my spirits lifted and my quiet joy returned to me. Attitude is everything.
I faced my textbook today, and figured "I will never be able to remember all of this" "I can't do this" "I'm such a failure".. The abusive voice in my head has been taunting me, trying to convince me that I'll never succeed in this.
Yet, I started writing my notes. I began small, and learnt things bit by bit. As my page filled up and my mind started to remember more things, peace descended on me, and I knew, that God is and will always be on my side. I know that if I give Him my best right now, He will honour that. Attitude is everything.
Yesterday I walked home coughing, and I was feeling extremely frustrated with God. Where was this healing I was believing for? I know it was promised to me, and that God gave me the authority to heal the sick and raise the dead through Christ Jesus, and yet.. this ailment just would not go away. I didn't want to talk to Him anymore, so I went to sleep.
Yet, at night, I sat down with my Bible once more, despite how much I did not want to. And those words spoke right to me, and offered a comfort that surpassed all understanding. I felt my anger and exhaustion melt away as God gave me the strength to go on for just one more day. I'm still believing for amazing things to come my way, for I spent all year listening to those promises. I've just got to make a choice every morning, to give praise anyways, to see the beauty in life anyways, and to give my best in all I do now anyways.
Maybe, the biggest gift He had planned for me all along was.. me, an older, stronger, tougher version that has finally learnt to thank God for even just a single ray of sunshine during a raging storm.
Attitude, is everything.
"Anyone who trusts in Him will never be put to shame."
- Romans 10:11
On another note, I've been catching up with a really dear friend lately, and she offered me such encouragement in just two sentences. It really makes me wonder, who do people see when they look at me? Is there more to me than I let myself believe sometimes? For a while now, the words that I've been using to describe myself were more along the lines of struggling, waiting, tired, fearful, weak, stupid. Not always, so don't worry too much! But still, those words are quite constantly at the back of my mind. And yet, people have been telling me words like strong, with much potential, self-sustaining with God, encouraging, amazing, highly favoured, steadfast.
Perhaps, in life, when we begin to lose faith in ourselves, we should allow ourselves to rely on the positive things that others say. When the eyes looking at ourselves are full of judgment, maybe then, it is time to close them, and believe in what other people see instead.
"You are good, You are good, and Your love endures."
- Let Your Glory Fall by Matt Redman
"And Joshua said unto them, "Sanctify yourselves, for tomorrow, the Lord will do wonders among you."
- Joshua 3:5
With love,
Dice
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