Funny how just yesterday I was talking about growing older, and its implications.
Because today.. I found myself in the "hot seat" at my GP clinic, interviewing a woman on the brink of her 60th birthday. Not five minutes into this consult, she began weeping and letting out the huge burden she had been lugging around all this while but hid from the world.
Who was I, but a 20 year old? What could I have possibly said to help her believe that everything is going to be OK?
I kept going as best I could, and listened to her because that much I knew, most people just need someone to REALLY listen. After a while though, I didn't know much of what to ask anymore or do in accordance to a GP plan and shot a look towards my GP beside me, who caught the message - "Erm, please help!".
...
I have always been the young one. In many ways I have always felt older than I am, but today I realized, that I also very much feel just.. 19. Ask me how old I am and you may hear me accidentally say 19 without realizing it.
I know that one of the gifts that God has given me is edification and encouragement, something I have been told before on several occasions. And yet, when I leave out the supernatural wisdom that I know is what people encounter when they talk to me sometimes and walk away feeling better, I just feel really.. inadequate. Like really, how much do I know about life? Even talking to some younger than me who have gone through pretty dark things puts me at a loss for words. The worst thing I've probably ever intentionally done with my life in recent years is.. skip class to sleep in. Or perhaps blurt a secret that wasn't mine to someone else. Or stay out late at night to talk to friends and keep my parents waiting up.
I've lived a pretty protected life and I love that I have.. but does that make me somewhat.. unrelatable to a hurting world?
...
Well, I've decided that my prayer is this, that I will be able to keep living my life in such a way, free from temporary pleasures that do not satisfy that I may show the world what life is like with Christ, and what real, unending joy feels like. I pray that my youth will be irrelevant when talking to people of all walks and backgrounds, because of the touch of God upon my life and my tongue. I pray that He will be able to comfort others through me, despite what I may or may not have endured in this life.
Above all, I pray, that I will never let the inadequacy I feel in my own self stop me from bringing about a change that is bigger than myself, because it is not me but Christ who works in me.
What a joy to be able to be a part of this. He's astounded me before, with what He can do through me.
Do it again Papa God, I pray. :)
"Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity."
- 1 Timonthy 4:12
Love,
Dice
Because today.. I found myself in the "hot seat" at my GP clinic, interviewing a woman on the brink of her 60th birthday. Not five minutes into this consult, she began weeping and letting out the huge burden she had been lugging around all this while but hid from the world.
Who was I, but a 20 year old? What could I have possibly said to help her believe that everything is going to be OK?
I kept going as best I could, and listened to her because that much I knew, most people just need someone to REALLY listen. After a while though, I didn't know much of what to ask anymore or do in accordance to a GP plan and shot a look towards my GP beside me, who caught the message - "Erm, please help!".
...
I have always been the young one. In many ways I have always felt older than I am, but today I realized, that I also very much feel just.. 19. Ask me how old I am and you may hear me accidentally say 19 without realizing it.
I know that one of the gifts that God has given me is edification and encouragement, something I have been told before on several occasions. And yet, when I leave out the supernatural wisdom that I know is what people encounter when they talk to me sometimes and walk away feeling better, I just feel really.. inadequate. Like really, how much do I know about life? Even talking to some younger than me who have gone through pretty dark things puts me at a loss for words. The worst thing I've probably ever intentionally done with my life in recent years is.. skip class to sleep in. Or perhaps blurt a secret that wasn't mine to someone else. Or stay out late at night to talk to friends and keep my parents waiting up.
I've lived a pretty protected life and I love that I have.. but does that make me somewhat.. unrelatable to a hurting world?
...
Well, I've decided that my prayer is this, that I will be able to keep living my life in such a way, free from temporary pleasures that do not satisfy that I may show the world what life is like with Christ, and what real, unending joy feels like. I pray that my youth will be irrelevant when talking to people of all walks and backgrounds, because of the touch of God upon my life and my tongue. I pray that He will be able to comfort others through me, despite what I may or may not have endured in this life.
Above all, I pray, that I will never let the inadequacy I feel in my own self stop me from bringing about a change that is bigger than myself, because it is not me but Christ who works in me.
What a joy to be able to be a part of this. He's astounded me before, with what He can do through me.
Do it again Papa God, I pray. :)
"Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity."
- 1 Timonthy 4:12
Love,
Dice
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