Sunday, March 30, 2014

Real, Raw, Honest

I got angry at God today.

It was over something, that in retrospect, is completely ridiculous but at that point, I was almost fuming from a lot of pent up frustration over the past few weeks.

I completely broke down in worship today. Tears were streaming down my face and I stood there with my arms crossed, refusing to talk to God. I needed some space, and I wanted to let it all out. And so I cried.. until I couldn't anymore.

At that point, with my spirit finally still again, I heard Him speak to me.

"Are you done being angry yet?"

It wasn't a condescending statement, nor did it carry a sarcastic tone.
It was God waiting for me to be ready, understanding enough to let have some time to vent.

 "Yes.. Yes I am."

"Come on here then. I love you."

Oh the weight that left my shoulders then, the liberation that came so unsuspectingly. And amazingly enough, the very next moment, I was in someone's embrace, a young lady I didn't recognize who kept whispering to me "He loves you, He loves you so much."She smiled at me and rubbed my arms. Tearfully, I nodded and thanked her gratefully.

I really am blessed and so well taken care of. 

And it didn't even end there, the day continued on with a kind stranger leaving his running car behind me to help me fix on the metal part of my tyre at the red light, coffee with the lovely Tonia and such timely encouragement, and even more encouragement at the end of the day.

My life is easier than most other people in this world, I know that surely.
And yet, there are those days where raw emotion catches up with me, and the stresses of this world overwhelm me. I don't always feel like talking to God when it does, but every time I do, I never walk away with regrets.

I'll be here to fight another day. Tomorrow will be an even better day. :)

Blessed,
Dice

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