i went for newcastle's interview today! i did it kinda half-heartedly, cause i had set my sights on monash really. and it kinda blew up in my face when the guy asked me so what do you know about the program in monash and i totally gave the wrong answer. he was pretty nice though, but i think i said a lot of the wrong things. couldn't answer some stuff impressively cause, well my brain cannot think fast enough la. but because i went half-heartedly i was more relaxed and just cakap saja. but.. what kind of dumb person talks about her faults when introducing herself?? oh yea.. me.
but one thing i take pride(not really pride, but what i like about myself) in, despite what everyone else says, is that in interviews, i'm honest. even if i somehow sound like i'm faking the way i feel or the things i do, i'm really honest. i refuse to lie about my faults as well, when they ask me which part of me needs working on and stuff like that. and in an ideal world, i would say, yea, i would like to go to a university that would rather have honest students than good actors. but maybe, as i've heard a million times over, things aren't like that in the real world. still, i refuse to be anything less or made-up more than who i really am. and the rest? just surrender it all to God, hey if it's meant to be, it will happen. :)
and the guy actually said nursing might be a better profession for me, cause of what i said about my first passion being people and such. and i was so thankful for my hospital attachment experience then, when i could actually say, hey i thought that before too! and here's when i realized i was meant to do medicine etc....
hmm.. i should get all my work done, finals are approaching and i gotta make sure i get what i deserve. and i deserve good results only if i work for it. wish me luck! :)
from the rooftops,
candice
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
the dreamer
that's what i hear a lot, that my intentions were good, but it just can't work out. and i guess i'm trying to say that the real world's tougher than i thought. i figured this out in planning our sales and stuff, and if you've read my blog before, you'd know i learn big lessons from small things. and i think in life, when you want things done, you really gotta work for it and make it happen. i feel like i just got off my training wheels, taking more risks, learning more along the way. and it's scary, trying to cycle without falling, but hey, it scares me only because it's worth doing. in taking risks, in making tough choices, there will always be voices that surround you, voices that discourage, that irritate, that may unintentionally make you want to give up. maybe courage, is simply about drowning the other voices, the ones that say "it can't be done, you're not good enough", and listening to your own voice, to God's voice and believing that if the dream is big enough then the facts don't matter. and if it's meant to be it'll work out eventually.
but this leads me to, do some dreams have to be given up on? like in glee, when artie(who is paralysed waised down i think, in case you didn't know) had to give up on his dreams of becoming a dancer. this is such a scary thought, and this is why it's so difficult to hope. because if they do get crushed, it's gonna hurt so bad. the higher the dream, the harder the fall. so i believe it takes a lot of courage to even dare to dream. because inevitably, sometimes you will realize not all dreams come true. but take hope in knowing that the future hasn't happened yet, and things still can happen. Murphy's Law is this - "If anything bad can happen, it probably will." but as there are two sides to every story, if anything good can happen, it probably will if you make it happen. (and i totally know that i speak in circles a lot). and as terrifying and hopeless as life can be sometimes, don't run away, stand up, fight back and remember, it's gonna be worth it.
tomorrow we start our booth sales. yippe hoo!!! :D and i watched Dear John with my sister just now, i thought it was pretty good! :D
anyways, i gotta run, love always,
me :)
but this leads me to, do some dreams have to be given up on? like in glee, when artie(who is paralysed waised down i think, in case you didn't know) had to give up on his dreams of becoming a dancer. this is such a scary thought, and this is why it's so difficult to hope. because if they do get crushed, it's gonna hurt so bad. the higher the dream, the harder the fall. so i believe it takes a lot of courage to even dare to dream. because inevitably, sometimes you will realize not all dreams come true. but take hope in knowing that the future hasn't happened yet, and things still can happen. Murphy's Law is this - "If anything bad can happen, it probably will." but as there are two sides to every story, if anything good can happen, it probably will if you make it happen. (and i totally know that i speak in circles a lot). and as terrifying and hopeless as life can be sometimes, don't run away, stand up, fight back and remember, it's gonna be worth it.
tomorrow we start our booth sales. yippe hoo!!! :D and i watched Dear John with my sister just now, i thought it was pretty good! :D
anyways, i gotta run, love always,
me :)
Sunday, July 11, 2010
just before the sunrise
so after hearing that quote yesterday i googled C.S Lewis to see more of his stuff. i have one of his books- The Screwtape Letters, given by my sister, but i didn't finish it yet. but i found a few quotes that spoke so honestly i feel, and that compelled me to repeat them here. :)
"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world."
- as i've mentioned before, it's been tough for me lately. so this is a reminder really, that God is yearning for my attention, for me to lean on Him, for He can offer me strength. and He does indeed deserve my worship.
"In the long run the answer to all those who object to the doctrine of hell, is itself a question: What are you asking God to do? To wipe out their past sins and, at all costs, to give them a fresh start, smoothing every difficulty and offering every miraculous help? But He has done so, on Calvary. To forgive them? They will not be forgiven. To leave them alone? Alas, I am afraid that is what He does."
- this was something i was struggling with too, the idea of hell is so disturbing and upsetting, and i asked why do people still end up there? why isn't God doing anything? and this reminded me, He already has, and because we have free will, we must choose Him and accept His gift of salvation.
"If He who in Himself can lack nothing chooses to need us, it is because we need to be needed."
- AWW, this is so touching! and it speaks greatly about the character and love of our great and mighty God.
"Be not deceived, Wormwood, our cause is never more in jeopardy than when a human, no longer desiring but still intending to do our Enemy's will, looks round upon a universe in which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys."
- in case you were blur, this is from the point of view of the devil, and the Enemy refers to God. so have faith guys, that even when you don't feel God around, that He is still there and the devil is scared.
"But what of the poor Ghosts who never get into the omnibus at all?' ' Everyone who wishes it does. Never fear. There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, in the end, "Thy will be done." All that are in Hell choose it. ... No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find. To those who knock, it is opened."
- this is a real eye-opener, that we can ALL CHOOSE salvation today.
"If we are going to be destroyed by an atomic bomb, let that bomb when it comes find us doing sensible and human things -- praying, working, teaching, reading, listening to music, bathing the children, playing tennis, chatting to our friends over a pint and a game of darts -- not huddled together like frightened sheep and thinking about bombs. They might break our bodies (a microbe can do that) but they need not dominate our minds."
- i found this very cool.
"My argument against God was that the universe seemed so cruel and unjust. But how had I got this idea of just and unjust? A man does not call a line crooked unless he has some idea of a straight line. What was I comparing this universe with when I called it unjust?"
- huh, this is really thought provoking. what indeed are we comparing it to, when we have never seen a 'just' world?
"God lends us a little of His reasoning powers and that is how we think: He puts a little of His love into us and that is how we love one another. When you teach a child writing, you hold its hand while it forms the letters: that is, it forms the letters because you are forming them. We love and reason because God loves and reasons and holds our hand while we do it."
- this deserves an aww.. it makes us really remember that the God of the universe CHOSE to hold our hand and He loves us so deeply even if we cannot figure out why.
i got tired of reading from the screen, but i would say that there is so much truth and wisdom in the above words. i'm glad i learnt more today. :)
keep fighting the good fight,
candice
"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world."
- as i've mentioned before, it's been tough for me lately. so this is a reminder really, that God is yearning for my attention, for me to lean on Him, for He can offer me strength. and He does indeed deserve my worship.
"In the long run the answer to all those who object to the doctrine of hell, is itself a question: What are you asking God to do? To wipe out their past sins and, at all costs, to give them a fresh start, smoothing every difficulty and offering every miraculous help? But He has done so, on Calvary. To forgive them? They will not be forgiven. To leave them alone? Alas, I am afraid that is what He does."
- this was something i was struggling with too, the idea of hell is so disturbing and upsetting, and i asked why do people still end up there? why isn't God doing anything? and this reminded me, He already has, and because we have free will, we must choose Him and accept His gift of salvation.
"If He who in Himself can lack nothing chooses to need us, it is because we need to be needed."
- AWW, this is so touching! and it speaks greatly about the character and love of our great and mighty God.
"Be not deceived, Wormwood, our cause is never more in jeopardy than when a human, no longer desiring but still intending to do our Enemy's will, looks round upon a universe in which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys."
- in case you were blur, this is from the point of view of the devil, and the Enemy refers to God. so have faith guys, that even when you don't feel God around, that He is still there and the devil is scared.
"But what of the poor Ghosts who never get into the omnibus at all?' ' Everyone who wishes it does. Never fear. There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, in the end, "Thy will be done." All that are in Hell choose it. ... No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find. To those who knock, it is opened."
- this is a real eye-opener, that we can ALL CHOOSE salvation today.
"If we are going to be destroyed by an atomic bomb, let that bomb when it comes find us doing sensible and human things -- praying, working, teaching, reading, listening to music, bathing the children, playing tennis, chatting to our friends over a pint and a game of darts -- not huddled together like frightened sheep and thinking about bombs. They might break our bodies (a microbe can do that) but they need not dominate our minds."
- i found this very cool.
"My argument against God was that the universe seemed so cruel and unjust. But how had I got this idea of just and unjust? A man does not call a line crooked unless he has some idea of a straight line. What was I comparing this universe with when I called it unjust?"
- huh, this is really thought provoking. what indeed are we comparing it to, when we have never seen a 'just' world?
"God lends us a little of His reasoning powers and that is how we think: He puts a little of His love into us and that is how we love one another. When you teach a child writing, you hold its hand while it forms the letters: that is, it forms the letters because you are forming them. We love and reason because God loves and reasons and holds our hand while we do it."
- this deserves an aww.. it makes us really remember that the God of the universe CHOSE to hold our hand and He loves us so deeply even if we cannot figure out why.
i got tired of reading from the screen, but i would say that there is so much truth and wisdom in the above words. i'm glad i learnt more today. :)
keep fighting the good fight,
candice
the time it takes to heal
well, i am healing. :) just need a bit more time and a lot more God. :)
today in evening service, during praise and worship, i was imagining(i dunno if this this is a vision, cause it was kinda simple and imaginative of me?) God holding me the way i held the kids at the orphanage, with my arms on their shoulder and my hands together. then i imagined that God holding me was very tall, like cannot see His head cause He's that tall and that mighty. and then He just shrank and became my size, a normal man. and He said, "i made my choice." and i was like wahhhh... this just reminded me once again how truly glorious and kind and sacrificial God is. He chose to walk amongst men although He probably had the coolest wings in heaven. and it made me think, what is my choice today? do i choose to follow Christ, NO MATTER THE COST? and as much as i desire to say yes, i am so afraid of disappointing God and myself again. i make mistakes so often and i just don't want to be yet another failure. but really at the right time in my life right now, jasmine and rachel were super encouraging as they prayed for me yesterday and today. the words were exactly what i needed so desperately to hear, that God is not disappointed in me, but rather He's so proud. and that i am not a failure in His eyes, and His love for me truly is unending.
and i realized, God has a reason for putting me through what i'm going through. i believe that He believes that i will not only survive it, but beat it too, and come out doing far greater things than i ever imagined.
i went for my Monash MBBS interview yesterday. it was okay, don't think i did very well particularly but after the interview i felt this certainty from God that i was gonna get a place. but it's a really far fetched dream, according to the lady, usually only one student from sam gets a place every year at Monash Clayton. and so i'm finding it hard to really believe that, but i am brought again to "o ye of little faith, why did you doubt?" i've been reading james too, and there was a section all about doubt and how we shouldn't doubt. i guess i've just been disappointed so many times that, i'm trying to cut my losses. but then i found out i didn't get UNSW's MBBS interview. and i was upset a bit sure, but again i felt like it didn't matter, cause against all odds, it felt like Monash would offer me something despite how badly i think i did. if i was certain that this was God speaking to me, i would believe it in a heartbeat, but the thing is i'm not sure, if i'm just listening to my hopes beating too loud. but of this i am certain, that God has planned out my future and it is good, better even than i can imagine. :) thank You daddy God! :)
today i started my day with MADU, and visiting children i haven't seen in a while. i missed them so! i love how this is a continuous thing, that i get to become someone they know instead of just a visitor. but how do we all cope with parting then? i may be overestimating our group, but even Mr.Mike said today that our group was really connecting through to the kids and tearing down the barriers they put up and he was really impressed. i guess i'm just worried about them, what must it be like i wonder, to see people come and just when you were getting close, they leave? what must it be like to feel unloved, to need the touch of others so desperately? sigh, i really wanna go back even after MADU but i doubt i can, it's so far away! but though today was a bit tiring, i realized that there's no other way i'd choose to spend my saturday morning, with these beautiful children. :)
i realized how much meaning a touch has. it sounds weird i know, but i think especially these kids, they need a lot of hugs and hand holding and playing, it's how they understand affection. and this really moved me how they yearn for this touch so much, that when we come, they lie on our laps and hold our hands. and i like that feeling to, having a child who depended on you for that few minutes, who needed something that was such a pleasure to give. :) i ended up hugging them until they got sick of it.. :P sigh, i want a lot a lot of kids!!!! or to just keep working with children.. :)
hahah after that i went out with 4 and a 1/2 men, mich and pris to have lunch with ivan and went grocery shopping for our booth. had lots of fun!!! :) thanks again to kor and jie for fetching me around today! :)
very often i find myself battling with others when our ideas clash. i find it very upsetting when people don't share the same convictions i do, when our hearts do not go the same way. and i get frustrated and angry and so tired of fighting for what i know is right, but what others do not care about. they are not bad people, quite the contrary really, but as i said, they just don't share my convictions. and i'm learning, i really am trying to react better to this, to disappointment. to keep fighting for what is right, for what is good, for what i know can make a difference in the lives of others. and from jasmine's prayer for me today, i wonder if compassion is my spiritual gift, though it is a quality a gazillion people have, and i'm not boasting or anything, but i just think that maybe this is who God wants me to be, this is how He hard-wired me. and i guess, while getting the approval of others may be no easy task sometimes, at least i know who i want to be, and i know what i want to do in this life. :) thanks again God, for giving me this life, this real life that isn't all sunshine, but instead full of mountains to climb, journeys to travel and horizons to reach for. for only in such a life will Your true glory and strength show through me. God I love You so! :)
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
and it stood out to me, just like this. love is patient, so i will wait for the one God's set apart for me. :)
crystal shared this in evening service today and i found it really really meaningful.
"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of — throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."
- C.S.Lewis
honey i love you! ;)
today in evening service, during praise and worship, i was imagining(i dunno if this this is a vision, cause it was kinda simple and imaginative of me?) God holding me the way i held the kids at the orphanage, with my arms on their shoulder and my hands together. then i imagined that God holding me was very tall, like cannot see His head cause He's that tall and that mighty. and then He just shrank and became my size, a normal man. and He said, "i made my choice." and i was like wahhhh... this just reminded me once again how truly glorious and kind and sacrificial God is. He chose to walk amongst men although He probably had the coolest wings in heaven. and it made me think, what is my choice today? do i choose to follow Christ, NO MATTER THE COST? and as much as i desire to say yes, i am so afraid of disappointing God and myself again. i make mistakes so often and i just don't want to be yet another failure. but really at the right time in my life right now, jasmine and rachel were super encouraging as they prayed for me yesterday and today. the words were exactly what i needed so desperately to hear, that God is not disappointed in me, but rather He's so proud. and that i am not a failure in His eyes, and His love for me truly is unending.
and i realized, God has a reason for putting me through what i'm going through. i believe that He believes that i will not only survive it, but beat it too, and come out doing far greater things than i ever imagined.
i went for my Monash MBBS interview yesterday. it was okay, don't think i did very well particularly but after the interview i felt this certainty from God that i was gonna get a place. but it's a really far fetched dream, according to the lady, usually only one student from sam gets a place every year at Monash Clayton. and so i'm finding it hard to really believe that, but i am brought again to "o ye of little faith, why did you doubt?" i've been reading james too, and there was a section all about doubt and how we shouldn't doubt. i guess i've just been disappointed so many times that, i'm trying to cut my losses. but then i found out i didn't get UNSW's MBBS interview. and i was upset a bit sure, but again i felt like it didn't matter, cause against all odds, it felt like Monash would offer me something despite how badly i think i did. if i was certain that this was God speaking to me, i would believe it in a heartbeat, but the thing is i'm not sure, if i'm just listening to my hopes beating too loud. but of this i am certain, that God has planned out my future and it is good, better even than i can imagine. :) thank You daddy God! :)
today i started my day with MADU, and visiting children i haven't seen in a while. i missed them so! i love how this is a continuous thing, that i get to become someone they know instead of just a visitor. but how do we all cope with parting then? i may be overestimating our group, but even Mr.Mike said today that our group was really connecting through to the kids and tearing down the barriers they put up and he was really impressed. i guess i'm just worried about them, what must it be like i wonder, to see people come and just when you were getting close, they leave? what must it be like to feel unloved, to need the touch of others so desperately? sigh, i really wanna go back even after MADU but i doubt i can, it's so far away! but though today was a bit tiring, i realized that there's no other way i'd choose to spend my saturday morning, with these beautiful children. :)
i realized how much meaning a touch has. it sounds weird i know, but i think especially these kids, they need a lot of hugs and hand holding and playing, it's how they understand affection. and this really moved me how they yearn for this touch so much, that when we come, they lie on our laps and hold our hands. and i like that feeling to, having a child who depended on you for that few minutes, who needed something that was such a pleasure to give. :) i ended up hugging them until they got sick of it.. :P sigh, i want a lot a lot of kids!!!! or to just keep working with children.. :)
hahah after that i went out with 4 and a 1/2 men, mich and pris to have lunch with ivan and went grocery shopping for our booth. had lots of fun!!! :) thanks again to kor and jie for fetching me around today! :)
very often i find myself battling with others when our ideas clash. i find it very upsetting when people don't share the same convictions i do, when our hearts do not go the same way. and i get frustrated and angry and so tired of fighting for what i know is right, but what others do not care about. they are not bad people, quite the contrary really, but as i said, they just don't share my convictions. and i'm learning, i really am trying to react better to this, to disappointment. to keep fighting for what is right, for what is good, for what i know can make a difference in the lives of others. and from jasmine's prayer for me today, i wonder if compassion is my spiritual gift, though it is a quality a gazillion people have, and i'm not boasting or anything, but i just think that maybe this is who God wants me to be, this is how He hard-wired me. and i guess, while getting the approval of others may be no easy task sometimes, at least i know who i want to be, and i know what i want to do in this life. :) thanks again God, for giving me this life, this real life that isn't all sunshine, but instead full of mountains to climb, journeys to travel and horizons to reach for. for only in such a life will Your true glory and strength show through me. God I love You so! :)
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
and it stood out to me, just like this. love is patient, so i will wait for the one God's set apart for me. :)
crystal shared this in evening service today and i found it really really meaningful.
"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of — throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."
- C.S.Lewis
honey i love you! ;)
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
breathe, just breathe
"A man went to a barber shop to have his hair cut as usual. He started
to have a good conversation with the barber who was cutting his hair. They
talked about many things and various subjects. Suddenly, they touched
the subject of God.
The barber said, "Look man, I don't believe that God exists!"
"Why do you say that?" asked the man. "Well, it's so easy, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God does not exist. Tell me, if God existed, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be no suffering nor pain? I can't think of loving a God who permits all of these things."
The man thought for the moment, but he didn't want to respond so as to cause an argument. The barber finished his job and the man went out of the shop. Just after heleft the barber shop he saw a man in the street with long hair and beard. It seemed that it had been a long time since he had his hair cut and he looked so untidy.
Then the first man again entered the barber shop and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist!"
"How can you say they don't exist?" asked the barber. I am here and I am a barber."
"No!" the man exclaimed. "You don't exist because if you did there would be no people with long hair and beard like that man who walks the streets."
"But, I do exist, and that is what happens when people do not come to me."
"Exactly!" - affirmed the man. "That's the point. God does exist, and see what happens when so many people don't go to Him and do not look for Him? That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world." "
- an old story i heard once
and i thought, the Christian life is a tough one, like really. so how does going to God take away all the pain and suffering? and i realized, some haircuts just take longer, and they might not turn out the way we would have wanted but the way the barber wanted and similarly in life, God's will must come first. :)
God hears your heartbreaks, He feels your pain. You're not alone. :)
wishing upon a star,
candice
to have a good conversation with the barber who was cutting his hair. They
talked about many things and various subjects. Suddenly, they touched
the subject of God.
The barber said, "Look man, I don't believe that God exists!"
"Why do you say that?" asked the man. "Well, it's so easy, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God does not exist. Tell me, if God existed, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be no suffering nor pain? I can't think of loving a God who permits all of these things."
The man thought for the moment, but he didn't want to respond so as to cause an argument. The barber finished his job and the man went out of the shop. Just after heleft the barber shop he saw a man in the street with long hair and beard. It seemed that it had been a long time since he had his hair cut and he looked so untidy.
Then the first man again entered the barber shop and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist!"
"How can you say they don't exist?" asked the barber. I am here and I am a barber."
"No!" the man exclaimed. "You don't exist because if you did there would be no people with long hair and beard like that man who walks the streets."
"But, I do exist, and that is what happens when people do not come to me."
"Exactly!" - affirmed the man. "That's the point. God does exist, and see what happens when so many people don't go to Him and do not look for Him? That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world." "
- an old story i heard once
and i thought, the Christian life is a tough one, like really. so how does going to God take away all the pain and suffering? and i realized, some haircuts just take longer, and they might not turn out the way we would have wanted but the way the barber wanted and similarly in life, God's will must come first. :)
God hears your heartbreaks, He feels your pain. You're not alone. :)
wishing upon a star,
candice
Monday, July 5, 2010
what really matters..
... is the heart.
hey you! :)
i had one of the best mondays of my life today! after much stress in planning today's trip to SPCA then the orphanage, we finally went for it! 23 of us turned up today to first volunteer at the animal shelter and then spent some time with the children in the taman megah orphanage. i was so super duper excited for today and seeing everyone reach taylor's in the morning with their boxes of old clothes and other stuff was so sweet! it was like we all going picnic like that, in our shorts and big tees. :D
we left in four different cars, and dianne made these really cute blue ribbons for all the cars to show we were together, and the cars looked super cute, like wedding cars. except somehow tai kor's car had leaves instead of the ribbon, and it kept falling as he drove, it was so funny!!!! hahah i was annoying the life out of everyone in adrian's car with my rendition of Whitney Houston's 'Greatest Love of All', which mich and i spent the previous night "practicing" in li lian's house.still i had a really enjoyable time in the car too, but everyone else was just so excited when i finally fell asleep. :P
the SPCA came kinda as a shock to me, cause i am quite afraid of dogs and i have never been to an animal shelter before in my life. i had no idea what to expect. the guy that met us was a rather strict, no-nonsense kinda fellow, who did not approve of so many of us coming at once to help, cause online said 15 ppl max for volunteering but when i called up, the lady said 28 no problem. so he ended up splitting us into four groups, and i totally kept my brave face on, though i was kinda freaking out at the thought of entering the place they keep the 300 over (i think) dogs. so because my face seemed to hide my fear pretty well, the guy picked my group to go inside the section with really hyper dogs. man, i went in first too, after him la. got scratched on both legs but it doesn't show anymore, pretty minor la. still after a bit, i kinda got used to it and really liked playing with them then! man i would love to adopt one, but my mum's so freaked out about dogs. we played with the hose too a bit(:P) and i really had a blast, even though there was poop everywhere, even on my shirt. it was especially rewarding to see my classmates having so much fun too, extra so to those who were uber scared of dogs when we arrived there. i would definitely love doing this again!
after we finished our tasks, we had to go to rush to the orphanage. still, me, sean and tai kor got the chance to speak with the no-nonsense guy for a while. before we spoke to him though, i noticed this dude and his dad with a freaking adorable bulldog in the admin part of the shelter. they wanted to 'dump' him there cause he had a skin disease. and the lady said that if you wanna dump him there, you must sign the agreement that you won't mind him being put to sleep if they cannot save him. and the no-nonsense guy said in chinese, how can you just want a dog when it's cute? then sick, throw away? where is the reasoning?.. and stuff like that la, it's obvious how he did have a genuine heart for animals. and the father just said, sign only la, don't care put to sleep anot. i was like argh!!!! inside, and the no-nonsense guy gave a slightly angry sigh. so as he was talking to us afterwards, he said sorry for being a bit irritatedly angry today, just kinda stressed bout people la. and i said like that dude and his dad who just dump their dogs like that? then he told us that that's one part la, but also at people who wanna adopt dogs but refuse to follow procedure then scold them pulak. i told him that he's doing a really good thing here, and he said, yea, but not everyone in the public thinks so. so we all chatted a bit longer and realized he was actually a really nice person. so that kinda brightened my day, knowing people like him, who live on passion and goodwill still exist, despite the many pressures they face. :D
next stop, the orphanage! :) everyone seemed to enjoy me falling asleep too much! =.='' but we made it for lunch and then to the orphanage! the orphanage was an extremely humbling experience. as soon as we reached we could see so many children with the more severe diseases lying on the floor in a pretty distorted position. it was quite heartbreaking, but still most of them were cheerful and willing to play with us. i met a blind girl who could sing really well, kids who danced to 'nobody, nobody', an adorable boy who i fed bread for their tea and so many other super cute kids. and i remember thinking, these are all beautiful children, how can people just dump them here because they're different and require more attention?
who is to judge that life should be led just from school to university to marriage to healthy children to their graduation and their marriage and to becoming a happy old couple on rocking chairs? the people i truly admire are those who say no to the convention plan for life, the one accepted by society and choose a different path, a tougher path. parents who would stay with their kids no matter what. like little amanda's mum and all the other parents from the special needs kids parent support group in church. and alongside that, people like the no-nonsense guy and the man who runs the orphanage, people who decide to dedicate their entire lives for their passion for others. they were both young men, who had their whole lives before them but they chose this path, to live a simple life, a difficult one too, but an extremely rewarding one at that. but what must it be like i wonder? especially at the orphanage when the more severely disabled children will never be independent? they were 24 year olds there who looked as if they were 8 year olds only and could not respond to questions at all. imagine the patience that that man must have, repeating the same routine everyday to children who might never understand his sacrifice for them. but perhaps that in itself is what sacrifice truly means, doing something purely out of a deep sense of need in your heart, regardless of recognition or acknowledgement. and also the no-nonsense guy, his passion for animals is evident, how must it feel to see dog after dog put to sleep because they were unwanted? how does one deal with that sense of anger and hopelessness? discussing this with my dad on the way home, we realized, the courage to do such a job can only come from a calling. it must be calling to run an orphanage or a calling to choose to save animals. and i'm starting to believe more and more that my calling is also for the less fortunate people in this world. but do i possess the courage to do greater things?
so i entered my dad's car at the end of the day smelling really stink apparently, like pee and sweat and euyurgh-ness. but i felt happy in that condition, really happy. :P cause today opened my eyes that love still prevails in this world at times, that even in a dangerous world such as ours, there are places that offer refuge and hope and love and second chances. and maybe the world isn't such a bad place after all, and perhaps it is the bad in the world that subconciously brings out the best in people. because as people, we feel for one another, we're all connected, and when one person hurts, the chain is rattled. maybe we just need to be more sensitive to the plight of others, for when we open our hearts and choose to feel, we are capable of doing incredible things.
i learnt the true meaning of charity begins at home today. i am someone who loves going to orphanages and volunteering everywhere, such that my family gets irritated for me not spending enough time at home and always having to trouble them to send me around. and spending today so unafraid of scary dogs that claw at you, smelly poop all over, pee everywhere and demanding people, made me realize that if i don't do this at home, it means nothing. i remember saying at REVAMP that for me, greater things start at home for me, because of how much i neglect my home to do stuff elsewhere. if i can be brave outside, i must be brave enough to deal with dirty toilet bowls at home, lizards like sherman, worms in the garden and tough house cleaning tasks that i would have loved to have done outside for charity. i gotta be the same person there as i am here. and i gotta stop complaining and start doing. JIA YOU CANDICE!!!!
and lastly what really touched me today was the spirit of G8. i love just observing people and at SPCA, seeing everyone smiling doing dirty jobs really warmed my heart. and having mixed groups in the cars also brought us closer together, and i felt that it was so sweet to see people laughing as we were eating lunch, just enjoying each other's company. but above that all, i remember most clearly seeing the pure kindness in each and every one of my classmates hearts. and this reminded me again that when you look closely, people are really, really, REALLY, beautiful. i don't think i'll forget the image of the little boy sleeping on gene's lap, or the boy with his hand around wen shi singing songs as he played the guitar, and elena playing with ganthi(a lady there), and cheau wei with this little girl who really loved her, and raymond dancing with the children there, and everybody else really! i'm just stating a few, but i have never been more proud and blessed to be a part of G8. :) i'm so glad everyone had a good day today and i believe we definitely got at least a little bit closer to each other today. thank You God, for an incredibly unforgettable monday. :)
the best things in life are free,
candice :)
hey you! :)
i had one of the best mondays of my life today! after much stress in planning today's trip to SPCA then the orphanage, we finally went for it! 23 of us turned up today to first volunteer at the animal shelter and then spent some time with the children in the taman megah orphanage. i was so super duper excited for today and seeing everyone reach taylor's in the morning with their boxes of old clothes and other stuff was so sweet! it was like we all going picnic like that, in our shorts and big tees. :D
we left in four different cars, and dianne made these really cute blue ribbons for all the cars to show we were together, and the cars looked super cute, like wedding cars. except somehow tai kor's car had leaves instead of the ribbon, and it kept falling as he drove, it was so funny!!!! hahah i was annoying the life out of everyone in adrian's car with my rendition of Whitney Houston's 'Greatest Love of All', which mich and i spent the previous night "practicing" in li lian's house.still i had a really enjoyable time in the car too, but everyone else was just so excited when i finally fell asleep. :P
the SPCA came kinda as a shock to me, cause i am quite afraid of dogs and i have never been to an animal shelter before in my life. i had no idea what to expect. the guy that met us was a rather strict, no-nonsense kinda fellow, who did not approve of so many of us coming at once to help, cause online said 15 ppl max for volunteering but when i called up, the lady said 28 no problem. so he ended up splitting us into four groups, and i totally kept my brave face on, though i was kinda freaking out at the thought of entering the place they keep the 300 over (i think) dogs. so because my face seemed to hide my fear pretty well, the guy picked my group to go inside the section with really hyper dogs. man, i went in first too, after him la. got scratched on both legs but it doesn't show anymore, pretty minor la. still after a bit, i kinda got used to it and really liked playing with them then! man i would love to adopt one, but my mum's so freaked out about dogs. we played with the hose too a bit(:P) and i really had a blast, even though there was poop everywhere, even on my shirt. it was especially rewarding to see my classmates having so much fun too, extra so to those who were uber scared of dogs when we arrived there. i would definitely love doing this again!
after we finished our tasks, we had to go to rush to the orphanage. still, me, sean and tai kor got the chance to speak with the no-nonsense guy for a while. before we spoke to him though, i noticed this dude and his dad with a freaking adorable bulldog in the admin part of the shelter. they wanted to 'dump' him there cause he had a skin disease. and the lady said that if you wanna dump him there, you must sign the agreement that you won't mind him being put to sleep if they cannot save him. and the no-nonsense guy said in chinese, how can you just want a dog when it's cute? then sick, throw away? where is the reasoning?.. and stuff like that la, it's obvious how he did have a genuine heart for animals. and the father just said, sign only la, don't care put to sleep anot. i was like argh!!!! inside, and the no-nonsense guy gave a slightly angry sigh. so as he was talking to us afterwards, he said sorry for being a bit irritatedly angry today, just kinda stressed bout people la. and i said like that dude and his dad who just dump their dogs like that? then he told us that that's one part la, but also at people who wanna adopt dogs but refuse to follow procedure then scold them pulak. i told him that he's doing a really good thing here, and he said, yea, but not everyone in the public thinks so. so we all chatted a bit longer and realized he was actually a really nice person. so that kinda brightened my day, knowing people like him, who live on passion and goodwill still exist, despite the many pressures they face. :D
next stop, the orphanage! :) everyone seemed to enjoy me falling asleep too much! =.='' but we made it for lunch and then to the orphanage! the orphanage was an extremely humbling experience. as soon as we reached we could see so many children with the more severe diseases lying on the floor in a pretty distorted position. it was quite heartbreaking, but still most of them were cheerful and willing to play with us. i met a blind girl who could sing really well, kids who danced to 'nobody, nobody', an adorable boy who i fed bread for their tea and so many other super cute kids. and i remember thinking, these are all beautiful children, how can people just dump them here because they're different and require more attention?
who is to judge that life should be led just from school to university to marriage to healthy children to their graduation and their marriage and to becoming a happy old couple on rocking chairs? the people i truly admire are those who say no to the convention plan for life, the one accepted by society and choose a different path, a tougher path. parents who would stay with their kids no matter what. like little amanda's mum and all the other parents from the special needs kids parent support group in church. and alongside that, people like the no-nonsense guy and the man who runs the orphanage, people who decide to dedicate their entire lives for their passion for others. they were both young men, who had their whole lives before them but they chose this path, to live a simple life, a difficult one too, but an extremely rewarding one at that. but what must it be like i wonder? especially at the orphanage when the more severely disabled children will never be independent? they were 24 year olds there who looked as if they were 8 year olds only and could not respond to questions at all. imagine the patience that that man must have, repeating the same routine everyday to children who might never understand his sacrifice for them. but perhaps that in itself is what sacrifice truly means, doing something purely out of a deep sense of need in your heart, regardless of recognition or acknowledgement. and also the no-nonsense guy, his passion for animals is evident, how must it feel to see dog after dog put to sleep because they were unwanted? how does one deal with that sense of anger and hopelessness? discussing this with my dad on the way home, we realized, the courage to do such a job can only come from a calling. it must be calling to run an orphanage or a calling to choose to save animals. and i'm starting to believe more and more that my calling is also for the less fortunate people in this world. but do i possess the courage to do greater things?
so i entered my dad's car at the end of the day smelling really stink apparently, like pee and sweat and euyurgh-ness. but i felt happy in that condition, really happy. :P cause today opened my eyes that love still prevails in this world at times, that even in a dangerous world such as ours, there are places that offer refuge and hope and love and second chances. and maybe the world isn't such a bad place after all, and perhaps it is the bad in the world that subconciously brings out the best in people. because as people, we feel for one another, we're all connected, and when one person hurts, the chain is rattled. maybe we just need to be more sensitive to the plight of others, for when we open our hearts and choose to feel, we are capable of doing incredible things.
i learnt the true meaning of charity begins at home today. i am someone who loves going to orphanages and volunteering everywhere, such that my family gets irritated for me not spending enough time at home and always having to trouble them to send me around. and spending today so unafraid of scary dogs that claw at you, smelly poop all over, pee everywhere and demanding people, made me realize that if i don't do this at home, it means nothing. i remember saying at REVAMP that for me, greater things start at home for me, because of how much i neglect my home to do stuff elsewhere. if i can be brave outside, i must be brave enough to deal with dirty toilet bowls at home, lizards like sherman, worms in the garden and tough house cleaning tasks that i would have loved to have done outside for charity. i gotta be the same person there as i am here. and i gotta stop complaining and start doing. JIA YOU CANDICE!!!!
and lastly what really touched me today was the spirit of G8. i love just observing people and at SPCA, seeing everyone smiling doing dirty jobs really warmed my heart. and having mixed groups in the cars also brought us closer together, and i felt that it was so sweet to see people laughing as we were eating lunch, just enjoying each other's company. but above that all, i remember most clearly seeing the pure kindness in each and every one of my classmates hearts. and this reminded me again that when you look closely, people are really, really, REALLY, beautiful. i don't think i'll forget the image of the little boy sleeping on gene's lap, or the boy with his hand around wen shi singing songs as he played the guitar, and elena playing with ganthi(a lady there), and cheau wei with this little girl who really loved her, and raymond dancing with the children there, and everybody else really! i'm just stating a few, but i have never been more proud and blessed to be a part of G8. :) i'm so glad everyone had a good day today and i believe we definitely got at least a little bit closer to each other today. thank You God, for an incredibly unforgettable monday. :)
the best things in life are free,
candice :)
Thursday, July 1, 2010
worth fighting for
it's been a rough couple of days for me and things only started getting better yesterday. still i realized that life is really full of challenges and obstacles that may become so terrible, it causes you to fall flat on your face, in disappointment and pain. in other cases, such challenges will make you reconsider everything, the way it made me really wonder, am i doing the right thing? what should i do next? am i who i want to be? i questioned everything about me again, wondering am i a good person in life? so i learnt a very important lesson about anger this week. that anger truly blinds a person, as a much as it lures you to succumb to it, to start shouting back and fighting, we must step aside and see from a new perspective, a better perspective.
when you start to have doubts about yourself, look down into your hands and think hard about what your'e fighting for. then decide. half a heart is way worse that no heart. i realized we gotta know what it is we're fighting for in life then go for it full force if we think it's worth it. and there will come winds that try to blow you down, waves that try to swallow your spirit and thunder that tries to crush you completely. but you need to realize, the way i did, that you;re stronger than you think. within you lies untapped strength and courage that can do great things. born in the image of our Heavenly Father, wouldn't it be obvious that we are more than just robotic beings? we are more than incapable humans. we can stop wars and save lives and move these great gigantic mountains in life, because we are the children of God that are called to greater things. we think the mountains we have to move are like bringing world peace or abolishing slavery, but more abundant than those mountains, are the ones we face everyday. shame, anger, pain, revenge, hate, laziness, greed. these are the personal battles we must each face and fight, hard. what i'm saying is life isn't easy. it really isn't at all. But God's here for You if You'll let Him, and He's saying let me walk you through it.
hmm, so G8's gonna start our project! it was kinda a spontaneous idea by dianne for us to make videos of us in the orphanage and stuff for our moral video presentation. and we decided eh, why not? so far, there's been some disagreements that have been a total headache, but right now, it seems like most if not all of us are super duper excited. the idea has gone to a grander scale than we expected to do actually. on monday we will be visiting/volunteering at the spca then an orphanage in taman megah. it's so exciting! from tuesday to friday we will have a booth to sell stuff for fundraising, and excitingness of em all, our car wash next monday, 12 july from 1 to 5! :) also we're going for jog of hope this sunday, a few of us la. :) hopefully we can squeeze in a visit to the old folks home too. :D i'm so proud to be in g8 where everyone's excited too. at our meeting today, everyone was responsive and contributing ideas and i just truly thank God for blessing me with this incredible class. i hope everything turns out fine!!!!! please please please God!!!!
sometimes, you just gotta take that leap of faith. :)
with love,
candice :)
when you start to have doubts about yourself, look down into your hands and think hard about what your'e fighting for. then decide. half a heart is way worse that no heart. i realized we gotta know what it is we're fighting for in life then go for it full force if we think it's worth it. and there will come winds that try to blow you down, waves that try to swallow your spirit and thunder that tries to crush you completely. but you need to realize, the way i did, that you;re stronger than you think. within you lies untapped strength and courage that can do great things. born in the image of our Heavenly Father, wouldn't it be obvious that we are more than just robotic beings? we are more than incapable humans. we can stop wars and save lives and move these great gigantic mountains in life, because we are the children of God that are called to greater things. we think the mountains we have to move are like bringing world peace or abolishing slavery, but more abundant than those mountains, are the ones we face everyday. shame, anger, pain, revenge, hate, laziness, greed. these are the personal battles we must each face and fight, hard. what i'm saying is life isn't easy. it really isn't at all. But God's here for You if You'll let Him, and He's saying let me walk you through it.
hmm, so G8's gonna start our project! it was kinda a spontaneous idea by dianne for us to make videos of us in the orphanage and stuff for our moral video presentation. and we decided eh, why not? so far, there's been some disagreements that have been a total headache, but right now, it seems like most if not all of us are super duper excited. the idea has gone to a grander scale than we expected to do actually. on monday we will be visiting/volunteering at the spca then an orphanage in taman megah. it's so exciting! from tuesday to friday we will have a booth to sell stuff for fundraising, and excitingness of em all, our car wash next monday, 12 july from 1 to 5! :) also we're going for jog of hope this sunday, a few of us la. :) hopefully we can squeeze in a visit to the old folks home too. :D i'm so proud to be in g8 where everyone's excited too. at our meeting today, everyone was responsive and contributing ideas and i just truly thank God for blessing me with this incredible class. i hope everything turns out fine!!!!! please please please God!!!!
sometimes, you just gotta take that leap of faith. :)
with love,
candice :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)