inner peace

Dear God,

Thank You for this year, for how much i've had. it's been an incredible year. i thank You for the new friends, new experiences, countless joys, and ocassional troubles that keep me humble. i thank You Lord that it had been a year that has demanded me to trust in You, for You were, and still are, the only strength i have left. thank You for the beautiful people You have placed in my life, to teach me wonderful new things and to help me grow, and also to lend a shoulder when i needed it. i pray now Lord that as i approach the last stretch of this year, the last lap, that you will help me to do the one thing that will get me through it, and that is to keep trusting in You. it's been so easy for me to say those words, to myself and to others, but so difficult to truly believe, to experience the freedom that comes with surrender. but Lord i know now that all i want, is to finish this race with You. i don't care anymore which place i come in, i know You'll take care of that and put me where You desire, but Lord my prayer is this, teach me to let You lead, to let You be my strength, my everything. and i pray Lord that Your will be done in my life, whatever it may be. i thank You that above all, i have You in my life, to be a light through my darkest seasons, that You are a God who is always there. today i mean it when i say that You're the best. :) i love you Daddy King,

love,
your daughter. :)

"I have fought the good fight, i have finished the race, i have kept the faith."
- 2 Timothy 4:7

*circular repetitive talking ahead*
i really miss sabrina, i started thinking about her yesterday. she was so happy to receive the book i got her, and i'll always remember that child-like joy that was so sincere. i miss waking up early to go to college to go to tengku budriah.

i realized that i have had so many incredible opportunities this year, that for me it's been one of the best years ever, if not THE best. i've been complaining so much lately that i've grown so sick of my life being all about me, my worries, my stress, my insecurities, my inability to surrender fully to God. i miss being busy, so surrounded by people all the time that i forget my troubles. i'm totally talking in circles now i know. :P

i keep wondering if my life can be used for more, especially now. it seems like i'm waiting to be who and where God wants me to be to impact lives, but until then i'm just doing odd little things that i can. but they aren't enough, i want to do so much more. listening to the speaker today, i know i am capable of more, and especially during my upcoming holidays after my finals, i want to get involved in greater things. maybe even visit the prison to bless people, or volunteer somewhere. i want to spend whatever time i have on others, for that would be the best thing i can give them. i just don't want to die one day realizing the only person i ever lived for, was myself.

this has been an incredible source of comfort to me.
"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
- Matthew 11:28-30 MSG version

i'm keeping my eyes WIDE OPEN to what i can do now! :)

lately i realized how truly difficult the days that are to come in my life will be, far more challenging than what i'm going through now. there are days when i am crippled by the worry of whether or not i can be a good doctor. are my hands steady enough to hold a scalpel? am i hardworking enough to last through med school? am i emotionally stable enough? do i still get affected by really traumatic emergency accidents and stuff? can i survive doing medicine? and an honest answer to most of those questions are no, from my opinion. above all, i don't know if i am strong enough to become a doctor, to survive the life i believe God has called me to. but that's just it, the will of God will not lead me where the grace of God will not keep me. so i know, that from now until the day i see Jesus face to face, i will trust in God to bring me to greater heights than i ever imagined. that i will trust Him to make something of me that is useful to His kingdom, that through me, He can do greater things in this nation. and though i may sway sometimes, i will not let my fears bog me down, nor will i be dragged down in discouragement. God has brought me thus far, and i know He will lead me, all the way.


this song has incredible meaning, take some time off to listen, and be inspired. :)

Are my praises too loud, that they drown out the cries?

discovering my purpose,
candice