stressemough

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

totally what i am praying for now. sigh, i hope i can handle the next two months. on more than one occassion lately i have broken down or got very close to it because of the stress. yesterday night as i was studying, i kept worrying about getting our math test papers back. i knew i had done horribly, and i was so, so afraid to get it back. my prayer was simply to get a 66 which is a borderline low b, which i doubted i could even acheive. probably in addition to the effect of the coffee i had that night, i was still a bit shaky this morning. but when i got my results, i felt so emotional, on the verge of tears even. i had gotten a 79, while it was 2 marks away from an A, it was still FAR FAR better than i expected.and immediately the first thing i thought of was, why did i doubt God? and though i felt like i didn't deserve these marks at all, i was so thankful for them. still, it felt like such a slap, a gentle(gentle slap?:P) reminder from God yet again that He is with me always and that He will pull me through. and so many times already i have heard His reassuring voice, but i simply cannot.. let go. worrying has become second nature to me and i really do feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. Lord, please teach me to fully surrender to You, believing that You are with me every step of the way, even when i feel weak, ESPECIALLY when i feel i cannot go on anymore, especially, now.

hearing this song last sunday completely 'broke' me in a sense, i'd been holding on by my own strength for so long, trying to make it, but in my most vulnerable moments, i am reminded that God will never let me go, through it all. :)

Through it all by Hillsong
You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hand
And lead me in Your righteousness
And I look to You

And I wait on You

I will sing to You, Lord
A hymn of love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all

Hallelujah, hallelujah

:) the people around me are probably getting used to/utterly sick of my whining, complains of how stressed and afraid i am of losing my mind. but i realized today, that Jesus will protect me, that even as i am so sure i'm gonna hit rock bottom, He will catch me, right on time. i am safe, in the arms of my Heavenly Father. so to you who are reading this now, have heart, remember that God is always there for you too, and that He is and always will be, a God of miracles. :)

taking it one breath at a time,
candice