eighteen

you know that feeling you get after a night session in church, especially at camp? one that is full of tears pouring down your cheeks? the feeling you get after that, just the quiet peace, the calm after the storm of raging emotions, the joy in being worn out and molded through tears? i love it man. not in a masochistic way, but in a totally amazed at the beauty in being broken for God. and to experience that today.. can't imagine a better way to spend my eighteenth birthday. :)

Take me deeper, than I've been before,
Take me further, God I long for more,
Take me higher, than I've been before,
Jesus I want more,
Jesus I need more,
More of You,
More of You, Jesus,
More of You,
I need more of You.

- Deeper by Planetshakers

i didn't expect much from this year's birthday, and really did want it to just slide by. but i truly do thank all the lovely awesome people who didn't let me just do that, and i'm grateful for that now, people who said no, we're gonna celebrate this, even if it's by doing just the simplest things. xoxoxoxoxoox :) to luth and the gang, thank you guys SO MUCH :D and to my fantawesome urbs, you guys are really a blessing I could not have imagined I deserved. :P and to the amazing sister and sam, thanks for helping me move and just being so helpful all the time in my life, and great role models. :) and to everyone else that remembered to wish me, i appreciate it heaps! :) love you all tonnes. :)

but even with all the lovely surprises and gifts that I adore, hahah thanks guys, again, :P, tonight has to be the highlight I guess. I remember after my last birthday, there was this HUMONGOUS rainbow in the sky just awaiting, and I knew it was from God. :P looked back later and it was gone. :) and this year, just the honour of being able to go for discipleship was pretty darn awesome. and getting to experience that feeling I talked about, to be just drenched in the presence of God, to be in an environment of watching people rise up to the call God placed upon their lives, AWESOME. I love that I had new lessons to learn today, that God is continually molding and teaching me to put others first and to 'get over myself' when necessary. hahah. and to be there, just reminded me of the mandate God's put upon me, the call, and the reminder that I was right exactly where He wanted me. :)

moving into a new house today, i have this overwhelming feeling that God's got A LOT in store for me next year, a lot of new challenges to face but things that will not kill me and only make me stronger. and i guess, from where I am now, I'm feeling really excited to see the things spoken over my life come to pass. but I know now, the hard way, that I cannot make it through unless I am hanging on to my Father in heaven EVERY STEP OF THE WAY.

EXCITES THO! next year, I'm expecting MORE God, more of You and just more. more challenges if it means I'll grow. more pain if that's what it takes to bring me closer to You. and I may regret saying this one day, but I know that one day after that one day, I won't be. :)

thanks again God, for a pretty amazing birthday after all. love Ya heaps Pops. :)

love and blessings,
candice