i miss home. :(

today i woke up late, and then rushed to uni for a biomed talk at 9. i woke up at 8.40. HAIJOR. rushed rushed rushed, then turns out, i didn't have to be there. GRR. so i went to do my other errands, like getting print credit, printing documents, submitting them etc. ended up spending so much today to certify documents, get passport photos etc, which just bummed me out further cause i'm... cheapskate la.

i guesss what i wanna say is, i felt really alone today. i miss my friends a lot. here if i do stupid things like dance on the road or laugh really loud, i'd be certified crazy. i miss a lot of things, and it seems a lot of things happened to trigger my missingness. :( paying for my stuff i saw a mid valley movie ticket in my wallet, gosh i miss mid valley so much. i still have malaysian dollars in my wallet, more than my aussie dollars in fact. i have pictures in my room given by elena, which does really make me feel home-ier, but makes me miss the crazy things we did back home. i bit into ginger in my noodles and i even miss my mum's ginger egg rice thingy. though i don't like ginger one bit. it rained as i walked back and i remembered how g8 once walked as this big group in colourful umbrellas back to uni from UGH... AC. i even miss AC! gosh what's happening to me, get a grip on yourself woman!

and i'm gonna grow fat eating my comfort mint m&m's despite my 30min walks to uni. =.= sorry, i know i'm whiny today.

sigh so i'm really looking forward to meeting gene this sat, cause he's all i have left of my malaysian friends here in melb right now (kor hurry up!). then there'll be two. heh. leaving home isn't as stoked as i thought it'd be, maybe after a few months i'll feel differently, but right now, leaving all that's familiar isn't all too pleasant after all. no one's gonna ask me if i wanna go to my favourite park in the world if i have a bad day, or i can't sit in a friend's car to go somewhere, or i can't just walk all over kl like i belong there, or sleepover with my friends, or be stupid. here, though i guess i don't act stupid like i used to, i feel really idiotic cause i don't know when the lights change so i can cross, or how to enter the library, or top up my print money, or that my passport phot isn't accepted etc. frus betul i tell u. i mean at basics too, there isn't anyone within like 3km that i can go meet up with if i wanna whine bout my bad day and just talk nonsense. sigh.

oh look the sun's out! :) and my sister says it shouldn't be a bad day today, cause i got a free ride on the bus to uni since the pay thingy wasn't working and i couldn't walk cause i was late. :P

so as i walked out of uni all bummed and homesick, i felt i should really just sit down at the bus stop, to just STOP you know? took out my pocket new testament, and read psalms 30. it was REAL GOOD STUFF man. it was talking about how great God is, how He thunders over the waters and strips the forests bare, but it ended with what i feel might be the coolest, most important thing God does. "The Lord gives strength to His people, the Lord blesses His people with peace." - Psalms 29:11. OHHHH i just realized the psalm i read was psalm 29 not 30 tho i intended to read 30. heh. cool stuff anyways, glad i read 29. :P

so yea, i guess today could turn out to be a good day after all, though i have nothing to do at all. :P maybe i'll walk to the mall later, just for fun. sucks being alone i tell you, seriously.

finding my ground,
candice