:) was encouraged by someone from my past today. but i'm gonna keep growing to become even stronger and even more faithful than she was, never forgetting her ever.
i realized we gotta know what it is we're fighting for in life then go for it full force if we think it's worth it. and there will come winds that try to blow you down, waves that try to swallow your spirit and thunder that tries to crush you completely. but you need to realize, the way i did, that you're stronger than you think. within you lies untapped strength and courage that can do great things. born in the image of our Heavenly Father, wouldn't it be obvious that we are more than just robotic beings? we are more than incapable humans. we can stop wars and save lives and move these great gigantic mountains in life, because we are the children of God that are called to greater things. we think the mountains we have to move are like bringing world peace or abolishing slavery, but more abundant than those mountains, are the ones we face everyday. shame, anger, pain, revenge, hate, laziness, greed. these are the personal battles we must each face and fight, hard. what i'm saying is life isn't easy. it really isn't at all. But God's here for You if you'll let Him, and He's saying "let Me walk you through it".
- Me, July 1, 2010
i wish i was home right now. there are a lot of people and things i miss, but still, i'm not gonna let the devil steal my joy from being here. true joy exists only in the present. :) i'm glad to say though that i'm starting to feel more and more like the overly-happy me again, in urban life and in uni too even. recently i've been called clown, hyper, random, names i've come to forget that were mine. i'm already nearly done with my first semester in uni, and i find myself looking back already to the girl that first came to australia. people i look up to have been telling me stuff about how time flew for them, and i know that it won't be long before that's me too. i think the secret's in taking life day by day, searching for the present joy in it, accepting whatever loneliness, sadness or pain that comes with it but always, always looking for the silver lining. i can't wait for the day i can look back and see the work God's done through me, and just be so, so amazed.
God's been good though. :) He sure wasn't kidding when He said He'd never leave me. thanks God. :)
"When the first love was thwarted, then there was just a chance that in the loneliness, in the silence, something else might begin to grow."
- C. S Lewis in The Great Divorce
i realized that in life, we often have to give up one dream to watch another blossom into life, hanging on to only the precious few we truly desire. some people manage to juggle all their dreams, but is it really better to be a jack of all trades, master of none? watching cirque du soleil made me remember my dream to be in a circus, where your job is essentially to just.. be happy. be happy and make people happy, (whilst performing crazy cool tricks). i think i'd like that. but even putting aside how completely unqualified i am for that, i gave up that dream for another. gave it up, for the dream of letting God move through me to touch lives, in a different way, by a path that isn't always easy, doesn't always feel fulfilling but undoubtedly amazing. i know He'll bring me there one day, to the point where i get to see my dreams come true. and that He'll call me home when He's done. :) till then Lord, send me, i will go. :)
i'll be home semi-soon, and i'm thinking of what gene said "after people didn't even realize i was gone". Lol, the though of it's funny, but really man, what if? guess i'm pretty scared of going back also, things aren't the same anymore. people have changed, moved on, new buildings might be up, shops i loved may have disappeared, and i scared home will still be an unfamiliar place. nevertheless though, home is where the remaining 3/5 of my family is, and no matter how much the rest of the world has changed in these few odd months, i know they'll always be welcoming me and my sister back with open arms. :)
till next time,
candice
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