reunited

The past few days haven't exactly been easy on me. I would actually say that I started the year off rocky, unsure, unconfident, but a lesson I learnt is that people.. won't always disappoint you. Sometimes you just gotta let them love you, be it having them say it out loud, with a hug, or just being exactly who they are to remind you that you still belong. I thank God for CAR ParK, the crazy six year ride we have had already, moving on to the seventh one! Our relationship is as complicated as.. my bedsheet, one most people cannot understand, one even I cannot accept even sometimes. But even when we don't speak for so long, even when bitterness builds up, even when we face things seemingly alone, there's somehow always a lot of joy and acceptance and forgiveness and LOVE in our reunion events. I don't know what else to say, except that.. I love these girls to bits. Girls who have shaped so much of me, who make me feel like I actually belong somewhere when so often I do feel like a lone ranger. Girls who despite flaws, still manage to stand strong and live life even in the CRAZIEST and toughest of situations. Not to mention, girls who have probably seen me cry the most, heard the worst, and yet still love me for me. I truly thank God for you bunch today, and I mean it when I say that I am so proud of each one of you. :)





I cannot believe we don't have a single NICE group picture. -.-

Other than that, today I lo-sanged with some G8 peeps for the third time! GAWSH, beginning of our third year as friends. It makes me feel so old la, talking about friends in terms of years already, crazy stuff. Today we crashed IMU, and tried to sit in on a lecture (lecturer bailed.. -.-''), and it was.. enjoyable. :) Like I said, with the stuff I've been dealing with, it ain't easy to just be happy in spite of it all. But perhaps that IS what it means to overcome, to not let the enemy steal my joy. I did really genuinely enjoy myself today and I'm just.. really blessed to have this crazy bunch to always cheer me up when my spirits are down.

Lately I've found that in my weakest moments, I have obtained the most joy, or bounced back to joy the fastest and genuinest when I got back to serving. When I start speaking to people again, ministering, loving. Today, I felt it again, I loved the honour of being able to listen. But I truly thank You Daddy for the people that have been hearing me blabber on and on also, for the people that allowed me to borrow their strength in this time of need, and dusted me off and set me straight again. Ah, I feel so so blessed now, despite still a bit broken, but blessed beyond measure. :)

I know this is a pretty random, messy post, but I really am too lazy to re-read and edit this.. so yea. :D Let me just end with this.

So, 2012.. it's gonna be a God year for me. I'm not gonna search or hunt, and as Manda already covered me in prayer about this, this year, really is about the biggest man in my life and no other boys. Hahaha. It's gonna be tough, but I believe God's preparing me for better. This year though, He wants just for Himself. :) I'm excited.. scared, but excited. Do Your thing Pops, and make me beautiful! <3

P.S: You may remember me talking about my perspectives of 'home' a few posts back. Today I realized that Malaysia has its own little charm that Aus will never have, and the people here will always have that special irreplaceable place in my heart.

P.P.S: "Pain is God's megaphone which He uses to rouse a deaf world." - C.S Lewis

With joy, unspeakable joy,
Dice :)