I've been debating with myself for a while now whether sharing this story online was something I wanted to do, or rather.. dared to do. But then, all of today, I kept hearing these words over and over from God.. "Tell your stories, cause they speak not of you, but of Me." So.. I choose to obey.
After all, this isn't really my story. This is His story that simply happened through me. Here goes.
...
About 2 months ago now, I was preliminarily diagnosed with a rare blood disorder called Essential Thrombocythemia.
Statistically, I am 1/30,000 - 50,000. And not only that, as a rare enough disease, it usually presents in people above 60.
Up to that point, I had been experiencing various nonspecific symptoms including a consistent and unusually high blood pressure. So after a couple of other tests and examinations, I was scheduled for a blood test.
Two days later, on a Monday morning, I received a call from my GP insisting that I had to see him that very day regarding strange results with my blood.
On my journey back from Frankston, I wondered what could be so serious. I had vague suspicions of the worst case scenario but that hour was dedicated to wondering and praying, praying that whatever it is, I will have the strength to endure and that He will be lifted high.
A few moments after meeting him, terms like chronic leukemia and essential thrombocythemia were mentioned with much sympathy. I discovered that my platelet count was four times what it should be, and in the absence of a better explanation such as inflammation or infection, I had either one of the two conditions.
I was scheduled for a bone marrow biopsy the next Monday.
I've only ever seen bone marrow biopsies done in movies, although I have briefly learnt about them. I knew they insert a big needle into your bone, but that was about all I knew.
At this point, my family decided to send my mum over without a return air ticket to care for me for as long as necessary. My mother, who has never left the country alone before. I am so very grateful she came after all, cause she (and my sister) helped me walk slowly after the procedure, cooked for me, helped me clean the house and just.. offered family support. Paps and Ta Jie were incredibly supportive too, and I really do owe so much to them four. Thanks guys. :)
Well, that was the worst of it, the point where me and my family were most worried. Hardly anybody else knew what was going on with me (as told by me and not my family) at this point of time, because it was too close to my heart to share out so easily. Even now, still only a select few really know this story.
But anyways.. time passed.
I began a form of chemotherapy to kill the excess platelets, but don't worry, it wasn't the crazy kind you see in movies with the hair loss and vomiting. I took blood tests every week to monitor the count. I was strongly advised to forgo my vacation plans this mid year to go back to KL, because doctors wanted to keep an eye on me. So.. I decided to be stubborn. :D Thank GOD though, the day I was supposed to fly, I discovered that my platelets were already half of the original crazy amount. I was heading the right way! :)
All that was left was the result of the biopsy, that would show if it was in fact, chronic leukemia.
...
I have so many people to thank for looking out for me in this time. Obviously, there was my family and even extended family that showered me with a lot of love and care. I am thankful, to see my extended relatives grow closer with my family as well, all just because I was a bit ill. I am really spoiled. Haha :)
I am so grateful for all the prayers that have been said for me, by friends and family, especially that from Bea Che at the hospital before my biopsy, for courage and peace, and from my future je fu Samson a week later, claiming healing for me in the name of Jesus. Also, how cool is this, Pastor Debbie received a word of knowledge from God the Sunday that I left that God wanted to heal people with bone marrow disorders. How spot on is God! :) I LOVE that He cares so much to reveal things like this to my pastors and then get the whole congregation praying along.
My biggest testimony from all of this really, is having the peace of God with me throughout everything. I knew those dear to me were very worried, which made me wonder if I should be too, if something was wrong with me for not being afraid of illness, or even death. Now I know though, it's all Papa God just being like.. totally cool and in control of everything.
I knew I had nothing to fear because there had already been multiple prophecies made over my life at different times and by different people all resounding the same message, that there is a future for me to live out my dreams for the glory of God, to share His love to the poor and the broken.
One of the most significant ones ever made over me even mentioned Psalm 23:
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me, Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."
- Psalm 23:4
"So.. why choose fear?"
- Rent, The Musical
I still wondered though, I admit. What if my life really is shortened by this? "Then to live is Christ and to die is gain."But, what is the purpose for this? It doesn't seem big enough to worry excessively about nor small enough to ignore."What the enemy intended for evil, I intended for good. I have a plan for your life."
Again I say, that my greatest joy was having His hand to hold through everything, the good and the bad. We are blessed not because we have nothing to endure, but because He remains by our side in every situation. Time and time again, He would overwhelm me with His love and assure me that everything was going to be OK.
Also, this has showed me what things are like from a patient's perspective, something I believe will be very valuable in my future. I must never forget how vulnerable and even lonely sometimes, it can be in the hospital when you wear a hospital gown and not an ID. I am thankful and so very blessed to have experienced this.
I know I have a million more good things to say from all of this, but I can't remember them now. HEH. :) Will update if I remember.
...
Oh and..
Coming back from the doctor today, I am happy to announce that my bloods are now within the normal range and that my biopsy was all clear too! :) Praise God!
This means for me that things are stable and not too much of a worry anymore.
I am, essentially, in the pink of health!
Being a medical student, I am supposed to be bound within reason and logic. For example, I am better now because I took the appropriate medication. I am a product of chance that the drug had no severe side effects on me and worked very well to treat me. I am just 1 in 30,000 that for some unknown reason was a bit unlucky.
I believe that.. but all within my faith. I do believe I was chosen to carry this for a while for a reason, perhaps to encourage others and show them who God really is, what He can do. Even to be in Australia when this happened and have it mostly covered by my student insurance, to have access to medication, to not have any genetic mutations in my bone marrow, to have this happen in the chill-est point of my medical career, to be able to achieve remission which in my research, is quite uncommon after just two months of treatment.. I know for a fact that the hand of God was, and is upon me. I believe that I am healed in the name of Jesus. I believe that I am well taken care of in the kingdom of God. My Heavenly Paps is so, so good to me!
Right now, I am not under misguided optimism that this is the last of this particular struggle, nor am I afflicted with paranoia that at any moment I am gonna have complications and stop breathing.
I am simply choosing to live, as I have always felt was my favourite way of living, with joyful hope and optimistic faith.
Because face it, I have too much in life to be thankful for to let this stop me from living my life to the full. :)
After all, this isn't really my story. This is His story that simply happened through me. Here goes.
...
About 2 months ago now, I was preliminarily diagnosed with a rare blood disorder called Essential Thrombocythemia.
Statistically, I am 1/30,000 - 50,000. And not only that, as a rare enough disease, it usually presents in people above 60.
Up to that point, I had been experiencing various nonspecific symptoms including a consistent and unusually high blood pressure. So after a couple of other tests and examinations, I was scheduled for a blood test.
Two days later, on a Monday morning, I received a call from my GP insisting that I had to see him that very day regarding strange results with my blood.
On my journey back from Frankston, I wondered what could be so serious. I had vague suspicions of the worst case scenario but that hour was dedicated to wondering and praying, praying that whatever it is, I will have the strength to endure and that He will be lifted high.
A few moments after meeting him, terms like chronic leukemia and essential thrombocythemia were mentioned with much sympathy. I discovered that my platelet count was four times what it should be, and in the absence of a better explanation such as inflammation or infection, I had either one of the two conditions.
I was scheduled for a bone marrow biopsy the next Monday.
I've only ever seen bone marrow biopsies done in movies, although I have briefly learnt about them. I knew they insert a big needle into your bone, but that was about all I knew.
At this point, my family decided to send my mum over without a return air ticket to care for me for as long as necessary. My mother, who has never left the country alone before. I am so very grateful she came after all, cause she (and my sister) helped me walk slowly after the procedure, cooked for me, helped me clean the house and just.. offered family support. Paps and Ta Jie were incredibly supportive too, and I really do owe so much to them four. Thanks guys. :)
Well, that was the worst of it, the point where me and my family were most worried. Hardly anybody else knew what was going on with me (as told by me and not my family) at this point of time, because it was too close to my heart to share out so easily. Even now, still only a select few really know this story.
But anyways.. time passed.
I began a form of chemotherapy to kill the excess platelets, but don't worry, it wasn't the crazy kind you see in movies with the hair loss and vomiting. I took blood tests every week to monitor the count. I was strongly advised to forgo my vacation plans this mid year to go back to KL, because doctors wanted to keep an eye on me. So.. I decided to be stubborn. :D Thank GOD though, the day I was supposed to fly, I discovered that my platelets were already half of the original crazy amount. I was heading the right way! :)
All that was left was the result of the biopsy, that would show if it was in fact, chronic leukemia.
...
I have so many people to thank for looking out for me in this time. Obviously, there was my family and even extended family that showered me with a lot of love and care. I am thankful, to see my extended relatives grow closer with my family as well, all just because I was a bit ill. I am really spoiled. Haha :)
I am so grateful for all the prayers that have been said for me, by friends and family, especially that from Bea Che at the hospital before my biopsy, for courage and peace, and from my future je fu Samson a week later, claiming healing for me in the name of Jesus. Also, how cool is this, Pastor Debbie received a word of knowledge from God the Sunday that I left that God wanted to heal people with bone marrow disorders. How spot on is God! :) I LOVE that He cares so much to reveal things like this to my pastors and then get the whole congregation praying along.
My biggest testimony from all of this really, is having the peace of God with me throughout everything. I knew those dear to me were very worried, which made me wonder if I should be too, if something was wrong with me for not being afraid of illness, or even death. Now I know though, it's all Papa God just being like.. totally cool and in control of everything.
I knew I had nothing to fear because there had already been multiple prophecies made over my life at different times and by different people all resounding the same message, that there is a future for me to live out my dreams for the glory of God, to share His love to the poor and the broken.
One of the most significant ones ever made over me even mentioned Psalm 23:
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me, Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."
- Psalm 23:4
"So.. why choose fear?"
- Rent, The Musical
I still wondered though, I admit. What if my life really is shortened by this? "Then to live is Christ and to die is gain."But, what is the purpose for this? It doesn't seem big enough to worry excessively about nor small enough to ignore."What the enemy intended for evil, I intended for good. I have a plan for your life."
Again I say, that my greatest joy was having His hand to hold through everything, the good and the bad. We are blessed not because we have nothing to endure, but because He remains by our side in every situation. Time and time again, He would overwhelm me with His love and assure me that everything was going to be OK.
Also, this has showed me what things are like from a patient's perspective, something I believe will be very valuable in my future. I must never forget how vulnerable and even lonely sometimes, it can be in the hospital when you wear a hospital gown and not an ID. I am thankful and so very blessed to have experienced this.
I know I have a million more good things to say from all of this, but I can't remember them now. HEH. :) Will update if I remember.
...
Oh and..
Coming back from the doctor today, I am happy to announce that my bloods are now within the normal range and that my biopsy was all clear too! :) Praise God!
This means for me that things are stable and not too much of a worry anymore.
I am, essentially, in the pink of health!
Being a medical student, I am supposed to be bound within reason and logic. For example, I am better now because I took the appropriate medication. I am a product of chance that the drug had no severe side effects on me and worked very well to treat me. I am just 1 in 30,000 that for some unknown reason was a bit unlucky.
I believe that.. but all within my faith. I do believe I was chosen to carry this for a while for a reason, perhaps to encourage others and show them who God really is, what He can do. Even to be in Australia when this happened and have it mostly covered by my student insurance, to have access to medication, to not have any genetic mutations in my bone marrow, to have this happen in the chill-est point of my medical career, to be able to achieve remission which in my research, is quite uncommon after just two months of treatment.. I know for a fact that the hand of God was, and is upon me. I believe that I am healed in the name of Jesus. I believe that I am well taken care of in the kingdom of God. My Heavenly Paps is so, so good to me!
Right now, I am not under misguided optimism that this is the last of this particular struggle, nor am I afflicted with paranoia that at any moment I am gonna have complications and stop breathing.
I am simply choosing to live, as I have always felt was my favourite way of living, with joyful hope and optimistic faith.
Because face it, I have too much in life to be thankful for to let this stop me from living my life to the full. :)
With so much love,
Candice
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