belief and faith

random thoughts...

more than some of my posts have started with "i learnt..". hahah and i find it pretty cool actually, that i'm always learning new things, getting new revelations and seeing the error of my ways. today i spent some time talking to an old friend i didn't really keep in contact with when i left. and in all honesty, for some time now i've struggled with people who weren't there for me when i felt i needed them. today i learnt, that i.. play both sides in this unpleasant game. i've been the person that wasn't there when people could use my listening ear or company. and it was an extremely humbling and eye-opening experience, realizing that.

going to aus, i've felt so often that i was leaving my ministry behind. i was leaving all my opportunities to serve, and going to a new place with a clean slate and.. nothing to do. from my first trip home back since i left, i learnt that it doesn't have to end here, even thousands(?) of miles away, i can still invest in lives the way a few people have invested in mine.

i thought i finally conquered my biggest hurdle in joining shave for a cure next year. my mum. ahahha, but, all the other hurdles, well actually just this one, was a shadow to a bigger concern in shaving for a cure. do i really have the guts to walk around bald and then with odd short hair for a few months? do i really not care as much about what people think as i like to think i don't? i guess we'll see how things go next year. maybe all i gotta do is close my eyes.. and leap. :)

i think i really gotta stop listening to the voice in my head that diminishes me and beats myself up sometimes. truth is, i know there's many people out there who believe in me. it just gets hard sometimes to believe them, the hardest thing to do even. and i learnt that i don't need to hear people tell me everyday that i can do this, that they have faith in me, cause i know they do. and i just gotta have more faith in me. also, i learnt to keep encouraging others more too, to bless people as much as i possibly can, to love with all my heart and obey because that is the call upon my life.

and.. i gotta stop watching so much romantic chick flicks. lol.

i am also learning to let go. move on and just.. be happy. live, like REALLY. :)

thank you, to all the people i've talked to over the past few days. you guys, are amazing. thanks for all the encouragements, and God bless you!! :)

with loads of love,
candice