where words fail

Among the clouds, Jesus looked for the one ray of light, and gave thanks for it.

a friend told me that day, that she felt that i have been struggling all this time. and yea i guess to some extent, i suppose i have. perhaps it's more to getting used to not having the perfect life i had last year, where friends were awesome, family was great and school, church, everything was working out for me. things haven't been the same this year, and coming home, surprisingly i find that i still haven't found what i'm looking for. not that i even know what it is i'm looking for. i'm just rambling.. but i guess what i'm saying is, life takes weird, unexpected turns sometimes, and you may just find yourself fighting, doubting, pleading, screaming, exhausted and worn out.

at times like this, i think the best thing to do, is find that one ray of light and give thanks for it. laugh at things all the more, smile, be happy, and take out of every situation what you deserve, to rejoice and be glad in the day that the Lord had made. i remember mei ying telling me the story of these two guys that laughed so hard until they cried when they received a letter saying that the funds for their experiment or something was gonna be cut off. they didn't let something as potentially silly as circumstance bring them down, and it really did turn their situation around. all about attitude. :)

so struggling? yea i am, everyday, in trying to discover who i'm supposed to be that would be pleasing to God, in finding the strength to be that person, in taking things a day at a time, to fight negative emotions, and to make the most out of my life. and learning, that in no situation i am facing now does the devil deserve to steal my joy away. God will help me overcome.

it's a fight, but we can do it. :)

love,
candice