Wednesday, June 20, 2012

See You In 3 Weeks!

Leaving for the airport in four hours, and flying in seven. :) My emotions have been jumping between afraid and excited.. but now I'm pretty much just excited. Currently I'm finalizing what to pack and making sure I have my important documents.. so yea, pretty much set to go.

To all of you who have believed in me whole-heartedly, prayed for me, encouraged me, sponsored me.. thank you so much. I won't let you all down! Be prepared for amazing testimonies of what God's gonna do in Papua New Guinea!

<3 <3 <3,
Dice

All About Heart

Often, personal prayer is not enough. It has to be followed up with actions and genuine love towards other people.

BUT.. sometimes, it's the other way around. Today, I came across an old friend's blog, who spoke of such hurt and disappointment going on in life now. And I felt so upset to read that, and immediately considered writing a typical Candice email to encourage this person.

But it hit me.. my email would have been absolutely pathetic. At first thought, I figured, at least this person will know someone cares, but I eventually realized, that many people are probably saying this to my friend right now, people who pretend to care.. and maybe.. just maybe, I would be one of them. My words would maybe even appear absolutely hollow and intent on retaining the nice-girl image I so often portray. I think that lately, in light of events whereby I have resorted first to head knowledge before God's heart for people, that I've been extra convicted to watch my heart too, and ensure that I'm not doing things for others just because, or to gain a positive label. I want to do only what is beneficial to them, if it is possible and right by God to do so. 

So.. I've decided to commit to a new challenge, to pray for this friend constantly and lift him/her up to God. If I believe that God can do anything and that He listens to my pleas, then I can surely find the faith to know that God will send a more appropriate person to care for this friend of mine, and that He Himself will never leave my friend alone. Unless and until God calls me to reach out to this one friend.. I will keep this between me and Him.

It's difficult though, realizing the world's kinda a lot more broken than I thought. So many people are hurting and broken, and, if I feel heartbroken watching this? How much more pain must Daddy feel? :/

This is another one of those rather personal posts that I debate in my mind whether or not to post up before I do, but my intent in writing this is, well number one for journalling purposes, but also for you dear readers.. to question if maybe it's time for you to have a heart check too. Maybe like me, how people viewed you have been of greater importance to you than it should be. Maybe like me, you've got some things to sort out with Pops tonight. Maybe like me, you'll find that there's a friend of yours that desperately needs prayer. Maybe, like I hope to achieve, we can both bring glory to name of God and be taken deeper under His wings, and that much closer to having our hearts beat in sync with His.

See.. I learnt that at the end of the day, it's really.. all just about heart.

Blessings,
Dice 

Friday, June 15, 2012

Dear Skype/Facetime

Thank you for making the world a smaller place! :)


I got to reconnect with this crazy sweetheart in my life today. She's one of the most incredible people I know, honest, caring and passionate. Ah, I'm missing her so muchs! Love that even though we're so far apart, we still feel so close to each other. :)

And Facetime, for connecting me to my parents most of the time. Loved that I got to hear my dad offer to fly to PNG if I was in any trouble there, over that small screen. I love you both, Pops and Mama! <3 <3

So blessed,
Candice

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Worldview

Every year that I get older, I always think I know the world better.

Today I realized how I don't, hardly at all. All I know about.. is my world.

I've always flocked to the same kind of people, like people of similar culture, ideas, faith, interests, convictions etc.. Today, working with people of very different backgrounds than me opened my eyes abit more. What do I really know about this world and its people? How can I empathize with something, with people, whose lives I cannot relate to or understand? How can I possible love someone I don't know?

My worldview is in fact very, very small.

So, I'm even more excited for PNG now, to gain a fresh perspective on the world, to see firsthand how God holds humanity together even when we're all so different from one another. I want God to show and teach me things that I never knew before, and develop a heart for His people, despite the 'culture, ideas, faith, interests, convictions, etc.'.

While this won't make me know the world completely, I am excited to be one step closer, and a little better at understanding why people are the way they are and how God can change lives in one glorious moment.

One day though, I'll see much more of the world. I don't know when yet, or how, but I feel it in my spirit that God is calling me there. And we know that His will for our lives will always come to pass as long as we remain obedient to the call He placed over it.

In a moment of pure honesty though, I am afraid, Afraid that this trip won't magnify my passions but rather extinguish it, discourage me rather than spur me on. But.. God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and love, and it means it was the enemy that put that fear there in me. Probably because he himself is afraid of what God can do through my life in PNG, and everywhere else really. This I know though, that in being obedient to what God has asked of me right now, I can dismiss my fear with certainty and just embrace this experience with all my heart and all my soul :)

Joshua 1:9
- "Here is what I am commanding you to do. Be strong and brave. Do not be terrified. Do not lose hope. I am the Lord your God. I will be with you everywhere you go."

Excited,
Dice

Sunday, June 10, 2012

If God Will Sustain Me..

Last stretch. 

Inspiration

Took a short break looking up famous quotes from C.S Lewis' The Chronicles of Narnia, after reading a quote from it in a devotional part of my sister's Bible. I love the theology in his story, and the way he phrases things so differently yet so powerfully when you get it. Good stuff! :)


“One word, Ma'am,” he said, coming back from the fire; limping, because of the pain. "One word. All you've been saying is quite right, I shouldn't wonder. I'm a chap who always liked to know the worst and then put the best face I can on it. So I won't deny any of what you said. But there's one thing more to be said, even so. Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things – trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that's a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We're just babies making up a game, if you're right. But four babies playing a game can make a playworld which licks your real world hollow. That's why I'm going to stand by the play-world. I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn't any Narnia.”
- The Silver Chair


“Please, Aslan,” said Lucy. “Before we go, will you tell us when we can come back to Narnia again? Please. And oh, do, do, do make it soon.”
“Dearest,” said Aslan very gently, “you and your brother will never come back to Narnia.”
“Oh, Aslan!!” said Edmund and Lucy both together in despairing voices.
“You are too old, children,” said Aslan, “and you must begin to come close to your own world now.”
“It isn't Narnia, you know,” sobbed Lucy. “It's you. We shan't meet you there. And how can we live, never meeting you?”
“But you shall meet me, dear one,” said Aslan.
“Are are you there too, Sir?” said Edmund.
“I am,” said Aslan. “But there I have another name. You must learn to know me by that name. This was the very reason why you were 
brought to Narnia, that by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there.”

- The Voyage of the Dawn Treader


“Aslan,” said Lucy, “you're bigger.”
“That is because you are older, little one,” answered he.
“Not because you are?”
“I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger.”



“And now!” said Aslan in a much louder voice with just a hint of roar in it, while his tail lashed his flanks. “And now, where is this little Dwarf, this famous swordsman and archer, who doesn't believe in lions? Come here, son of Earth, come HERE!” - and the last word was no longer the hint of a roar but almost the real thing.
“Wraiths and wreckage!” gasped Trumpkin in the ghost of a voice. The children, who knew Aslan well enough to see that he liked the Dwarf very much, were not disturbed; but it was quite another thing for Trumpkin, who had never seen a lion before, let alone this Lion. He did the only sensible thing he could have done; that is, instead of bolting, he tottered towards Aslan.
Aslan pounced. Have you ever seen a very young kitten being carried in the mother cat's mouth? It was like that. The Dwarf, hunched up in a little, miserable ball, hung from Aslan's mouth. The Lion gave him one shake and all his armour rattled like a tinker's pack and then - heypresto - the Dwarf flew up in the air. He was as safe as if he had been in bed, though he did not feel so. As he came down the huge velvety paws caught him as gently as a mother's arms and set him (right way up, too) on the ground.
Son of Earth, shall we be friends?” asked Aslan."



“Welcome, Prince,” said Aslan. “Do you feel yourself sufficient to take up the Kingship of Narnia?”
“I - I don't think I do, Sir,” said Caspian. “I'm only a kid.”
“Good,” said Aslan. “If you had felt yourself sufficient, it would have been a proof that you were not…



“I was wishing that I came of a more honourable lineage.”
“You come of the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve,” said Aslan. “And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth. Be content.”

- Prince Caspian


“They say Aslan is on the move - perhaps has already landed.”
And now a very curious thing happened. None of the children knew who Aslan was any more than you do; but the moment the Beaver had spoken these words everyone felt quite different. Perhaps it has sometimes happened to you in a dream that someone says something which you don't understand but in the dream it feels as if it had some enormous meaning - either a terrifying one which turns the whole dream into a nightmare or else a lovely meaning too lovely to put into words, which makes the dream so beautiful that you remember it all your life and are always wishing you could get into that dream again. It was like that now. At the name of Aslan each one of the children felt something jump in its inside. Edmund felt a sensation of mysterious horror. Peter felt suddenly brave and adventurous. Susan felt as if some delicious smell or some delightful strain of music had just floated by her. And Lucy got the feeling you have when you wake up in the morning and realize that it is the beginning of the holidays or the beginning of summer."



“Oh, children,” said the Lion, “I feel my strength coming back to me. Oh, children, catch me if you can!” He stood for a second, his eyes very bright, his limbs quivering, lashing himself with his tail. Then he made a leap high over their heads and landed on the other side of the Table. Laughing, though she didn't know why, Lucy scrambled over it to reach him. Aslan leaped again. A mad chase began. Round and round the hill-top he led them, now hopelessly out of their reach, now letting them almost catch his tail, now diving between them, now tossing them in the air with his huge and beautifully velveted paws and catching them again, and now stopping unexpectedly so that all three of them rolled over together in a happy laughing heap of fur and arms and legs. It was such a romp as no one has ever had except in Narnia; and whether it was more like playing with a thunderstorm or playing with a kitten Lucy could never make up her mind. And the funny thing was that when all three finally lay together panting in the sun the girls no longer felt in the least tired or hungry or thirsty.
“And now,” said Aslan presently, “to business. I feel I am going to roar. You had better put your fingers in your ears.”
And they did. And Aslan stood up and when he opened his mouth to roar his face became so terrible that they did not dare to look at it. And they saw all the trees in front of him bend before the blast of his roaring as grass bends in a meadow before the wind."

- The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe


“Son,” said Aslan to the Cabby. “I have known you long. Do you know me?”


“Well, I do think someone might have arranged about our meals,” said Digory.
“I'm sure Aslan would have, if you'd asked him,” said Fledge.
Wouldn't he know without being asked?” said Polly.
“I've no doubt he would,”
said the Horse (still with his mouth full). “But I've a sort of idea he likes to be asked.”

- The Magician's Nephew


<3,
Dice

Saturday, June 9, 2012

They Grow Up So Fast

Wen Shi Lee is 20 today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D Hahah such a big boy already, with a nice haircut today too. Genie and I took him out for dinner at Vegie Bar today, and I absolutely LOVED their sambal noodles. And then we hobo-ed in Carlton Gardens with melted cheesecake/ice cream.

Well I had a good time tonight. :) Here are my favourite quotes for the night:

Wen Shi: Look how tiny you guys are! *points to photo taken from super far away*
Me: AWW, are you trying to say I'm skinny? :D
Gene: Just go with it man.
Wen Shi: Uhh.. Sure! 

Gene: SOTM. 
Me and Wen Shi: ???


But REALLY, they're great guys who always make sure to walk me (and all girls) home at night, assure me that I didn't grow fat (sort of), don't feed me to possums, and they even learnt to always offer to carry heavy-ish stuff for girls. Yup I'm training them well. So.. line up ladies!! :)

Can't believe it's already his second birthday the three of us are celebrating together in Melbourne. How time flies. :)


Will upload a nicer picture when they (and I) are/am on Facebook! But see how cute they look when they bother to dress up. Kinda like bouncers, but.. smaller. Hahahah. :) Happy 20th again Tai Kor Teng!

Love,
Dice

Friday, June 8, 2012

40 Seconds

It took God 40 seconds today to make everything better. Suddenly all the unexplainable frustration from the week before just.. crumbled before me, defeated in God's embrace. And I am still so amazed, at the God that I serve and love, who ALWAYS comes back for me when I start to get lost, and helps me see that He never left my side.

Tonight, I'm thankful for housemates who sing along loudly to Veggie Tales praise and worship songs in the car.

I'm thankful for friends who offer you a hug without question, just because they felt like you needed one.

I'm thankful for pastors who listen for God's still, small voice.

I'm thankful to be here, where I get to witness God move powerfully in people's lives everyday.

I'm thankful for the rain, which made a joyful and gorgeous walk home.

I'm thankful to be alive, and reminded of God's faithfulness to me.

But above all, tonight, I am thankful to be the daughter of a Most High God who is always thinking of me, especially when I feel I deserve it the least.

God, I'm so thankful I have You in my life.<3

So blessed,
Dice

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

He's Not Finished With Me Yet

Life is an exciting thing, isn't it? :)

Love that the people around me are constantly showing me that there's always gonna be more to experience in this life, more to receive, more to learn and much, much more to give.

On a side note, I could use a train ride somewhere far away right now. I miss the adventure. 

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Well Taken Care Of

I got out of the shower yesterday feeling afraid yet again. I wanted to quickly finish up so that I could rush back to the safety and warmth of my own room.

But.. God is just amazing.

You know He's taking good care of you when you suddenly hear soft worship music playing from NE's room on the other side of the house, and her singing along 'O My Soul'.

And all the fear just went away. :)

2.22am

It's 2.22am now and I should be sleeping or doing final preparations for my formative OSCE tomorrow.

Instead, I very VERY randomly stumbled upon the blog of this American nurse working in Kenya, particularly based in an orphanage there called Mattaw. [http://www.kenyanurse.com/nursing-blog/] I looked through her blog page after page, picture after picture and just.. felt such a desire to be doing the kind of work she's doing. To love children that need to be loved desperately and to do my part in making the world a better place. And I wondered.. when will it be my turn before I am called to such a life?

Then it hit me. 16 days. That's how long. I opened my YWAM pack again once more and read it through. The cup of coffee I had earlier is not doing me much good either cause there's that discomfort in my chest due to bubbling excitement with tinges of fear in me. As I read through it properly, I thought "Candice, what in the world did you sign up for?? Is this for real? My gosh, can you actually do this?" I think the full weight of this decision is starting to sink on me and all the emotions are rushing along with it. I've always assumed that I will only begin to 'panic' on the way to the airport, but HEEHOOHEEHOO I'm feeling it already.

This is truly a dream come true. Over the past weekend I've been feeling a little bit worried, because I suddenly remembered how I didn't even dare to pray about this trip when I found out about the opportunity, cause I wanted it too much. And with all systems go, I just went along excitedly. At Inner Champ Encounter, I realized, that it probably wasn't right of me. I actually wondered, what if I'm moving too fast and stepping into something I'm not ready for yet? Do I really have the courage to say to God "If You say no, I won't go?. It was hard, and scary, but I eventually just sat down with God and prayed for His blessing over this trip, for an annointed time, and I remembered, how for so many months already now, He's been training me for it. There's been challenges I never had to face before, and so much discouragement, but I am PUMPED right now! So yea, as I sit here now and start to worry mindlessly-What if I don't make full use of my time there? What if I'm too shy to make friends? What if I just freak out and can't love as much as I thought I could? What if this? What if that? I feel like God's chuckling at me, just because He knows what's going to happen, and because He has my future in His hands. As long as I keep trusting Him every step of the way, everything is going to fall into place. And I believe that this is in fact what He wants for me right now.

My heart's still beating weirdly, but I think it's just the coffee. Still, there were so many times I felt surges of palpitations(?) as I read different things we might be/are required to do - calm children down in the doctor's office, go to church, swim, trudge in mud, get a SIM card to call home etc. I'm just... really excited!! :D


This was one of the pictures in the pack I was given. I am extremely excited to be serving these beautiful children in 16 days! 

Dear Lord,
I surrender every aspect of this trip into Your mighty hands. May the moment I get off the plane till the moment I leave just be filled with Your annointing. Use me O Lord I pray to be Your hands and feet in that place. I pray God that I will come back to Australia completely changed, with a heart that will burn even more for the things of Your kingdom, and with the passion and determination to keep working in school to be able to achieve all that You want me to achieve. Lord I pray against any fear, or nervousness, or other powers that may come against me, You have already won the victory through Christ Jesus and I declare that in faith. I pray that I don't regret a single moment I am there, that I will be able to serve Your beautiful people, conscious of what an honour it is, with sincere love and genuine care. 

I pray they accept me too Lord. Make me funny please! Haha, but God above all, I pray You do with me whatsoever You will there, and may I truly simply be a megaphone for Your love towards them.

Thank You SO SO SO much for this opportunity Daddy God, and I wait upon You, believing for incredible miracles and powerful testimonies.

In Jesus name I pray,
Amen.

Also, to my awesome parents, thank you so much for sponsoring me to go for this! I know you guys were/are still really worried about it all, but I'll be okay I promise! Thank you for letting me chase after my dreams, and letting it carry me as far as I can go. You guys are the best. <3

And to everyone else who prayed for me, supported me through this, got excited for me and especially for believing in me undyingly, thank you all so much. You guys are amazing. :) I won't let you all down, I promise!

BUBBLING WITH EXCITEMENT,
Candice

Monday, June 4, 2012

Blessing Abundantly


Someone once pointed out that people will always look at their own faces first in a picture, and that matters most to them. Hahaha, well honestly I did, and I think I look like I'm gonna fall asleep here, or just quite unglam, BUT.. then I think about how James rushed in and hugged his legs to make it fit in the picture and I remember how all of us were just so happy at that point in time. :) Then I stop caring how I look, because I just love that this picture captured the joy in that moment. <3

A few weeks ago, Andrew's dad told us that the friends we make in med school will be friends for life. I was never particularly close CLOSE with my uni friends, except Luth, but this year.. I'm opening up a lot more, not just with them, but with everyone else too. I think, that what he said was true. 

What I love most about these group of people is how we all managed to stick together since that one random prayer meeting we decided to have a few months ago. I remember that one day that I was just struggling so much, unsure of where I stood in life and how to even go on, that these were the people that stood by my side, dusted me off and made sure I was okay to walk again. They stayed with me until the storm in me calmed. I don't think I'll ever forget how Kels held me as I cried on her shoulder after it all for so long. Much thanks to Sylvia and Ian for lending me their strength then as well. I also thank God for the strong wind that stopped me from going home that day but led me back to Campus Center into their caring embrace. :)

So thanks guys, I'm not sure if I ever properly said thank you for what you all did for me that day, and every day really. You guys have been such an incredible blessing to me, constantly encouraging and praying, and I love all of you muchs! <3 Here's to many more years of friendship!

Love,
Dice