To those of you who have heard me talk about my dreams personally before, you will have heard me say that if I could pack my bags and go now, I would. If right now, I could move to PNG, or Africa, or wherever He calls really, to do medical missions according to God's will, I would.
...
Last Sunday, I was serving in Guest Services for the last service, what we call the Miracle and Testimony Service. Pastor Tim Hall had just come back from Serbia, having preached to and healed in the name of Jesus thousands of people.
As ministry time began, even I got called up to the front to receive from God, so I went. As I fell to the floor, sitting with my legs outstretched, I began to cry, as I always feel so moved to do when in His presence. I asked for something amazing, a new encounter, and eventually, I stopped tearing, got up and went back to my seat.
At that point (with people slain all over the altar, overcome by the presence of God), I kept feeling Him move my heart for the man with his intellectually challenged son in a wheelchair behind. Over and over, I battled with God in my mind, eventually choosing to apologize instead of obey, because he was all the way at the back of the room while I was right in front by the altar. Still, I think I could tell in my spirit that God knew I would end up going up to that man anyways.
After much debate, I decided to pursue him, and stood behind him as everyone was engaged in prayer. He soon turned and left the hall with his wife and son, leaving me standing there speechless. A few seconds later, I decided to chase them. As I looked around the foyer, Millie asked me who I was looking for. When I described to her what God had put on my heart to do, she explained to me that the couple were actually church intercessors.
And here I was talking with God, "Really? You want me to pray for church intercessors??" He has some sense of humour, my God!
Anyways, Millie encouraged me to be obedient and run after them, so I did and caught them right in front of the lift just before they went downstairs. The man was pleasantly surprised and so, so kind. He introduced himself, his wife and his son to me and very graciously accepted my humble prayer of blessing over their family. His wife hugged me after it all and told me that I would be greatly blessed this week too. They were the sweetest family unit ever.
But.. my story doesn't end there.
As I walked back to the foyer, Millie stopped me and asked me how it went. I told her it went okay, but I was barely keeping it together anymore. My act of obedience to His call attracted so much attention from heaven, that my spirit was extremely moved in that moment. Millie hugged me as I cried into her shoulder, with her continuing to whisper words of encouragement into my ear.
I went back into the hall where everybody was still worshipping God. I got on my knees and just kept crying.. like my spirit could not contain how much I felt within. And in a moment of powerful surrender, He said to me clear as day,
"Now I know.. that if I told you to pack your bags and go now, you really would. Now I know, that I can trust you with your dream."
How heart-wrenchingly moving is that! I was blown away by the goodness and faithfulness of my God, and even the feeling I had before I stepped out that He knew what my choice would be in the end even though I hemmed and hawed.
And now, all I can say is.. thank You Papa. For trusting me with this. I'm gonna make you proud!
...
Maybe I am living in the clouds. Believing for things everyday that I will not get to see come to pass for a long while. But in me, I feel like I'm changing everyday too. I'm getting stronger, and more resilient. A friend of mine commented in response to my dream a few days ago, with more than a hint of cynicism - "So this is how 19 year olds think nowadays". If I had heard that a year ago, I would have been extremely upset and discouraged. And yet now, I was able to let the comment roll off my back without a grudge, simply because, I know. I know who I am, and while so many around me may knowingly or unknowingly attempt to dictate that for me, I know that everything is going to be okay.
Because my heart is steadfast. Come hell or high water, my heart is steadfast.
Blessings of blessings,
Dice
...
Last Sunday, I was serving in Guest Services for the last service, what we call the Miracle and Testimony Service. Pastor Tim Hall had just come back from Serbia, having preached to and healed in the name of Jesus thousands of people.
As ministry time began, even I got called up to the front to receive from God, so I went. As I fell to the floor, sitting with my legs outstretched, I began to cry, as I always feel so moved to do when in His presence. I asked for something amazing, a new encounter, and eventually, I stopped tearing, got up and went back to my seat.
At that point (with people slain all over the altar, overcome by the presence of God), I kept feeling Him move my heart for the man with his intellectually challenged son in a wheelchair behind. Over and over, I battled with God in my mind, eventually choosing to apologize instead of obey, because he was all the way at the back of the room while I was right in front by the altar. Still, I think I could tell in my spirit that God knew I would end up going up to that man anyways.
After much debate, I decided to pursue him, and stood behind him as everyone was engaged in prayer. He soon turned and left the hall with his wife and son, leaving me standing there speechless. A few seconds later, I decided to chase them. As I looked around the foyer, Millie asked me who I was looking for. When I described to her what God had put on my heart to do, she explained to me that the couple were actually church intercessors.
And here I was talking with God, "Really? You want me to pray for church intercessors??" He has some sense of humour, my God!
Anyways, Millie encouraged me to be obedient and run after them, so I did and caught them right in front of the lift just before they went downstairs. The man was pleasantly surprised and so, so kind. He introduced himself, his wife and his son to me and very graciously accepted my humble prayer of blessing over their family. His wife hugged me after it all and told me that I would be greatly blessed this week too. They were the sweetest family unit ever.
But.. my story doesn't end there.
As I walked back to the foyer, Millie stopped me and asked me how it went. I told her it went okay, but I was barely keeping it together anymore. My act of obedience to His call attracted so much attention from heaven, that my spirit was extremely moved in that moment. Millie hugged me as I cried into her shoulder, with her continuing to whisper words of encouragement into my ear.
I went back into the hall where everybody was still worshipping God. I got on my knees and just kept crying.. like my spirit could not contain how much I felt within. And in a moment of powerful surrender, He said to me clear as day,
"Now I know.. that if I told you to pack your bags and go now, you really would. Now I know, that I can trust you with your dream."
How heart-wrenchingly moving is that! I was blown away by the goodness and faithfulness of my God, and even the feeling I had before I stepped out that He knew what my choice would be in the end even though I hemmed and hawed.
And now, all I can say is.. thank You Papa. For trusting me with this. I'm gonna make you proud!
...
Maybe I am living in the clouds. Believing for things everyday that I will not get to see come to pass for a long while. But in me, I feel like I'm changing everyday too. I'm getting stronger, and more resilient. A friend of mine commented in response to my dream a few days ago, with more than a hint of cynicism - "So this is how 19 year olds think nowadays". If I had heard that a year ago, I would have been extremely upset and discouraged. And yet now, I was able to let the comment roll off my back without a grudge, simply because, I know. I know who I am, and while so many around me may knowingly or unknowingly attempt to dictate that for me, I know that everything is going to be okay.
Because my heart is steadfast. Come hell or high water, my heart is steadfast.
Blessings of blessings,
Dice
No comments:
Post a Comment