Oh How He Loves

"See what kind of love the Father has for us, that we should be called sons and daughters of God!"

- 1 John 3:1a

Things haven't been easy for me. The past two weeks have been spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally draining. There have been struggles I never thought I'd have to deal with and those I didn't expect to hurt so much. I had been seeking a calm for my soul in various places - being busier, movies, baking, sleeping, talking to a couple of people.. but it was still there. This.. burden, that weighed upon me, and the constant expectation to be even better and rise to the occasion.

I knew I needed God, but I didn't turn to Him much in this time. Just didn't feel like it.

And then yesterday, at discipleship, I had a completely fresh and new encounter with His love. I broke down and fell on my knees, overwhelmed by the love of a Saviour that demanded nothing in return, but simply hoped for my love in exchange. His peace rushed like a wave over to surround me, and in an instant, I knew, that everything was going to be okay. I was safe. He said to me,

"When was the last time you let My furious love surround you? It's like.. you've been turning to others to ease your ache when I've been here, desperately calling out "Pick Me, pick Me, I can make you feel better and I can make the pain go away." So just let me hold you and let me love you, and you don't have to do anything to earn it, I just choose to love you like fire. Don't underestimate my love for you.

My yoke is easy, my burden is light. Come now it's alright, Papa's here now, and I will never leave you. I will be here for as long as you need me."

I know how insane this may sound, or even the idea of a God that is that intensely personal. 

But this is who He is, this is the Jesus I know, who cries when I cry and longs for me to count on His everyday provision and dreams big dreams for me. This is the Jesus that died naked on a cross for my sins, and paid the price so that I can live in complete freedom. This is the Jesus I adore, because I have never known another love like this.

"Jesus wept."

- John 11:35

"I will not leave you, nor forsake you."

- Joshua 1:5b

"The Lord your God is in your midst,

The Mighty One, will save;

He will rejoice over you with gladness,

He will quiet you with His love,

He will rejoice over you with singing."

- Zephaniah 3:17

P.S: Note to self - STOP wearing makeup to discipleships. You're just gonna ruin it and you know the night always ends with you asking Ern Ying while laughing if you look okay with smudged makeup everywhere.

Because I know the love of Christ,

Candice