Elsewhere

I miss running in the rain with mud between my toes, and feeling so free, more 'me' than ever before.

I miss holding little hands in my own, and being able to love on children who need more of it.

I miss being able to do something good with the works of my hands, and watching the smile on my face be reproduced in the faces around me.

I miss singing praises unto God with the locals and experiencing the pureness of His love.

I miss really really consciously knowing that I was walking in God's desire for my life.

...

I know that I'll get that chance again one day, that I have a different purpose for now, called here for such a time as this.

Realistically, I'm too occupied nowadays to think about how much I miss these things. But tonight, as I read the account of a friend living in her dreams as a missionary doctor and I look back at my short glimpse into what I've always wanted to do.. I remember. And as I remember, I miss.

Truth is, I live a good life right now. I am extravagantly blessed to reside in a first world country and treat myself to things like a new dress or hot chocolate when I really want to. I have more things than most other people in the world. I don't live in lack.

Here's my secret though - Somedays I look around, and ask myself if I can give all this up to pursue that dream.

...

As I grow older, I understand more of what "all this" entails. If I'm really honest, I'll say that it scares me too, sometimes. It's not always an easy choice, especially when to say or to think is easier than to do, but everytime.. one memory, just one moment of reflecting into my spirit is enough to give me enough passion and courage to say yes, I will go.

Tonight, my heart is elsewhere, lost with the sound of children's laughter and the satisfaction of a purpose fulfilled. 

Yet.. I am still at peace in knowing that God has already prepared the path before me. :) I don't want to be guilty of looking back at that 2 1/2 weeks of PNG and thinking that that's the most I'll ever have from this dream, but rather to keep looking forward with expectation, knowing, that my best days are still ahead of me.

Because they are. :)

May I never grow too comfortable to chase after my dream, and may I never fall in love with my ministry more than with the One who gave it to me.

...

I know I have written countless posts on this topic, round and round with the same message.. but I will keep doing it, because these posts especially, I write for myself. 

I write to remember, to release the fire, and to keep believing in my dreams even if the world chooses not to.

I write because it helps me see the truth, and with that clarity I rediscover my courage and peace. 

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

- Jeremiah 29:11

Still dreaming,

Dice