No Turning Back

I listened to this on the bus ride back to Clayton today.. and felt so moved. It spoke so much to me, about the life I have lead and the life I want to pursue.

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Christ is enough for me, Christ is enough for me.

If you had walked in my shoes these last couple of years, and been through what I've been through, there would be absolutely no question why I am able to say that without hesitation.

A memory that I have been itching to share for some reason, is the first time I had to get a brain scan just to make sure things were okay. I admit, I was scared, I hated that I was alone, I did not want any intravenous contrast and I did not want to be there. As I got onto the bed, I held on to the only One who has been there for me my whole life. It took me a while, but I eventually saw that He held my hand through it all, and that He could and would silence the fear in my spirit. His peace flooded through me, and at that moment.. I knew, that Christ is enough for me. Always have been, always will be. :)

I am so grateful to have lived the life that I did. I am thankful for the heartache, the challenges and the storms within that have brought me here and made me who I am today. Through living, I have learnt to count on my Father in Heaven, to find joy in every situation and with each day, my eyes are opened more and more to how truly adored and loved I am by Him.

I would not want to trade that life for any other. :)

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I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back.

Looking back on life, my most joyous moments were when I was so close to God, when I stepped out in faith over and over and enjoyed being obedient. I remember those moments as when my life felt so full, and whole. I think of Kaia, of Koivi, Uncle Ah Yap, and Sabrina.. and I smile. I haven't been like that in a while. Most days I get too caught up with life stuff to remember my purpose to bless those around me in the littlest ways, a kind word, or a generous encounter.

I remember being 13, and learning to do devotions for the first time. I'd go into my sister's empty room and sit on the bed, and just read the Bible. I remember praying, and trying to build that intimacy with God that I have been hearing so much about. I remember those baby steps. :)

It's amazing isn't it? How those 7 years were not insignificant in God's eyes, and that He remembers every single time I promised to follow Him. I love reflecting, and seeing Him with His little chisel and hammer, making me into something beautiful, more like Him every day. :)

"But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord."
  - 2 Corinthians 3:18

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Some days I talk in circles and make little sense. Perhaps today is one of them.

I enjoy writing these posts though, cause they're just.. raw, honest, sincere thoughts.

I pray you were blessed by it in some way! :)

Love,
Dice