Yesterday at church, I was blown away by the presence of God around me.
It's funny how when I re-read my old posts, I'd always say that He knew what I needed when I needed it, yet to have it happen again and be reminded.. I stand humbled and in awe.
It's been a strange few weeks, and I found myself needing words of encouragement myself, and being more emotional than usual.
But.. He knew. He always knows, and He always provides. :)
I served with the guest services team (officially) yesterday for the last time. Everyone who was there before service began surrounded me and laid their hands on me, declaring a blessing while simultaneously speaking life into my circumstances. Some of the words that were said out loud made me tremble in the physical because it had such great spiritual implications for this season that I am currently in. I was moved to tears and any attempt to hold them back were completely in vain. Here I was, surrounded by people who chose to honour me for the time I spent serving with them, yet they were all probably the most selfless, servant-hearted and humble people I know. They honoured me for something they did better than I did, and in a moment of revelation later, I realized that that is what God does as well. He rewards my every sacrifice when He made the biggest sacrifice of all for us. He commends my giving when His giving is beyond extravagant. How good is He? Like seriously.
But yea, back to the ushering room.. I felt extremely blessed in that moment. I felt like I just wanted to sit somewhere and keep crying, not out of sadness or heaviness, but simply how moved I felt by the enormity of His love and presence. Still, those tears had to wiped away and big girl shoes put on, cause people needed ushering in! :)
Once third service began and I joined the congregation in singing unto God.. those tears began to fall again. By the end of the night, I had probably started and stopped crying about.. six times? I didn't even know why exactly, but deep down, I could feel Him working something new in my spirit. At one point, I thought I heard Him say that He was marking me, branding me with Himself.
Oh.. the words that have been spoken over my life this weekend that have brought me so much joy and tears. He really is such a generous Papa and I lack nothing. :)
As I stood at the back of that darkened middle aisle, with tears streaming and a huge smile, one thought resounded in my mind:
"This is where I want to be. Just here, with You."
At one point that service, I realized the majesty I stood before, the astounding, amazing and glorious majesty I was in the presence of, and I had to fall to my knees, I just had to. I never understood people who could feel that reverent of God in my earlier years, because God has always just been like a buddy to me that I could play with and have brownie points with even when He's mad. Trust me, I received a new understanding as I fell to my knees. To just be at His feet.. I could ask for nothing more amazing.
I love being with Him so much, and so much more than I did when I was a younger Christian. Nobody can move my heart like He does, and nobody can make me laugh and cry at the same time while feeling this overwhelming sense of wholeness. Oh the joy that comes after all those tears.. it is my sincerest wish that one day you would get to experience it too if you never have before.
So.. no matter what happens next, I'll be okay. :) Even if there are new storms to brave and new mountains to conquer, I'm not alone and I have no reason to fear. He's got me. :)
With much joy,
Candice
It's funny how when I re-read my old posts, I'd always say that He knew what I needed when I needed it, yet to have it happen again and be reminded.. I stand humbled and in awe.
It's been a strange few weeks, and I found myself needing words of encouragement myself, and being more emotional than usual.
But.. He knew. He always knows, and He always provides. :)
I served with the guest services team (officially) yesterday for the last time. Everyone who was there before service began surrounded me and laid their hands on me, declaring a blessing while simultaneously speaking life into my circumstances. Some of the words that were said out loud made me tremble in the physical because it had such great spiritual implications for this season that I am currently in. I was moved to tears and any attempt to hold them back were completely in vain. Here I was, surrounded by people who chose to honour me for the time I spent serving with them, yet they were all probably the most selfless, servant-hearted and humble people I know. They honoured me for something they did better than I did, and in a moment of revelation later, I realized that that is what God does as well. He rewards my every sacrifice when He made the biggest sacrifice of all for us. He commends my giving when His giving is beyond extravagant. How good is He? Like seriously.
But yea, back to the ushering room.. I felt extremely blessed in that moment. I felt like I just wanted to sit somewhere and keep crying, not out of sadness or heaviness, but simply how moved I felt by the enormity of His love and presence. Still, those tears had to wiped away and big girl shoes put on, cause people needed ushering in! :)
Once third service began and I joined the congregation in singing unto God.. those tears began to fall again. By the end of the night, I had probably started and stopped crying about.. six times? I didn't even know why exactly, but deep down, I could feel Him working something new in my spirit. At one point, I thought I heard Him say that He was marking me, branding me with Himself.
Oh.. the words that have been spoken over my life this weekend that have brought me so much joy and tears. He really is such a generous Papa and I lack nothing. :)
As I stood at the back of that darkened middle aisle, with tears streaming and a huge smile, one thought resounded in my mind:
"This is where I want to be. Just here, with You."
At one point that service, I realized the majesty I stood before, the astounding, amazing and glorious majesty I was in the presence of, and I had to fall to my knees, I just had to. I never understood people who could feel that reverent of God in my earlier years, because God has always just been like a buddy to me that I could play with and have brownie points with even when He's mad. Trust me, I received a new understanding as I fell to my knees. To just be at His feet.. I could ask for nothing more amazing.
I love being with Him so much, and so much more than I did when I was a younger Christian. Nobody can move my heart like He does, and nobody can make me laugh and cry at the same time while feeling this overwhelming sense of wholeness. Oh the joy that comes after all those tears.. it is my sincerest wish that one day you would get to experience it too if you never have before.
So.. no matter what happens next, I'll be okay. :) Even if there are new storms to brave and new mountains to conquer, I'm not alone and I have no reason to fear. He's got me. :)
With much joy,
Candice
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