will we reach it?

i just finished watching fame with my sister. slept earlier and done my homework so still awake to blog about it. =P it just brings me back to what i always talk about, like the dreams we're meant to have and believing in yourself and i'm so errrr right now. i am in awe of people who have the talent and courage to pursue their dreams, whatever it is they are so passionate about, like in fame. performing arts is so fun and beautiful and man i would have loved the chance to live that life. but truth is, i don't. haha, it's okay, cause i know i don't have what it takes to be worthy of that industry. but it makes me wonder, what am i really passionate about? like, some people live their whole lives knowing exactly what their dream is, or they find it along the way. have i found mine or am i just wishing on a star? haha i don't even know what i'm typing anymore. i guess right now the dream is to be a doctor that has a heart for people who need me, whoever they might be. but the tough question here is, is fulfillment the same as happiness? but still i can do everything i guess.. especially with the musical and stuff now, i really really do love theatre and being on stage and singing and dancing, i love it. it makes me happy. but no way i can do it professionally, but on the other hand being a doctor will make me feel satisfied, and like live a life for others, which is very fulfilling. but as i said, some dreams are not meant to be. i think that those are the dreams you don't want enough to break barriers and work your sweat glands off for. i just wish i had that conviction so strong, it makes me know who i want to be exactly. but this is life right? hahah, and i still do want to get married and have a family and stuff, scary thought that that isn't in my control, and if i had to choose between the two, would it be selfish to choose love? haha, i'm sorry, my mind's just wandering again, i've talked about this a million times already.. still confused though. =)

i think what everyone needs is someone to watch you. to see the beauty in you that you cannot see by yourself. to make you feel like you belong. to let you know that you are talented or called to do something, and to inspire you to move forward. but as we realize how much it would rock to have someone like that around us, who believed in us whole-heartedly, we should see the need to become that person for those around us. to believe in their capabilities without a doubt.

my favourite line in fame was " i'm talented, someone's gotta make it out there, why can't it be me?"- Malik. "whoever told you you were so special?"- Malik's mom. "you did."-Malik. and she was like stunned.. i was like wah!!!! =P i like Mr dowd too, he's cool.

i think the life i would have wanted would be full of different things, like dr gordon gordon in bones. like i could try dance and medicine and circus arts and whatever else, and live with so much variety. but then, would it be better to live with just one thing you love completely? well i don't love anything completely yet so maybe the first choice till i do? hahah, but like i learnt in the princess and the frog, what you want isn't always what you need.

and sometimes i get frustrated that now is such and intermediate zone, like i'm not at the critical point of acheiving my dreams if you get what i mean, still like in the permulaan cerita or whatever comes after that.. still i realized, now would be a good time to discover who i really am, and realize where my heart lies. i'm glad i'm trying different stuff now already, well sort of, but i'm just really thankful to have this musical a part of my life for now. i really do love practices and stuff.

have you ever thought about what you could do, and saw it to be so wonderful and amazing? seen yourself do great things and be awed? i guess my question is, what's stopping you? what's stopping me? ish, take those barriers and step on it!!! garh.

i know i complain and whine too much. bad habit, sorry. =P on my new year's resolution!

i also loved the final show, the ballet was so freaking awesome. i miss dancing. like so much. but i sing a lot now, like around the house and stuff, i know i'm no celine dion or mariah carey (hahah!) but i like it, it makes me happy, deal with it! hahah, i won't scold you if you scold me for being noisy... =P ooh i miss running too. and the park, i was early for cg that time and it was completely empty except for some cleaners. i just sat there, stoning and g8 ppl would call it and pondered. it felt nice, the air was cool and can hear the birds chirping, very cool wan. =P

you know what, i gotta take it a day at a time. to live out my dreams a day at a time. yea... "just enough strength, to live for the day. so i never have to worry what tomorrow will bring, cause my faith is on solid rock, i'm counting on God." -Counting on God.

oh and happy birthday Farinho! =D 18 is old.:P

haha, i think i'm writing too often here again. next time i do, it'll be when i have something completely new to ramble on about. thanks for reading anyways! =) and fame was the bomb, i really liked it, go watch it! =)


the last time i was on stage. =)