it struck me recently that i don't know the names of a lot of people around me. the guard i always wave to, all the uncle aunties i greet, the fruits man, the chicken rice lady, the nasi lemaks man and so on.. it's just weird to realize how many people there are in my life that i just don't know personally. and man i bet they each have their own story to tell too.
well, i went for leader's retreat recently! got married there apparently, to chris tan. =)we're good together yo! hahahhahah! but truth is, i learnt quite a lot there. though it was tiring i really did have a pretty good time. one awesome moment, or time, was when we had our solitude time. i slept early so i did it early in the morning from 7.30 to 8.40ish.. it was so peaceful in peacehaven(all in the name!). i went outside and just talked to God, sat on the bench, lied on the floor, stared at the trees and skies. then i read my Bible and came across Psalms 139, a favourite. and when i came to the part, surely darkness will fall on me, but even darkness is like light to You, or something like that, the sun immediately came out from behind the clouds and shone brighter than ever. and it was just a really beautiful moment, and i felt like God was saying that He would always shine His light around me and i'm safe in His arms. There is no place safer than our loving Father's arms. and doing my triads with katrina was awesometastic too, i was amazed how much we had to say to each other when it never seemed we could click well. God knows what He's doing, always believe that. triads were supposed to last an hour only, i think we approached two hours, just talking and bonding. =)
oh and for my ESL project, i'm doing about refugees! came across the topic and it just called out to me, especially when i have so many fond memories of my kids. and pastor rose has been just so incredible and supportive, giving me books and setting up interviews and i really thank God for giving me a topic so dear to my heart-should refugees in Malaysia be protected and accepted?
and i'm pms-ing. totally. getting all emo and hungry again, but there's just a lot of confusion in me really. i struggle with who i really am and some days i really just don't know anymore. this past few months have been a time of countless introductions and first impressions and i am exhausted trying to figure out what kind of impression i left on others. i love having friends who already knew my character but now i'm just scared and exhausted really. God help me.
and praise God, i got a callback! =)
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