"Outside the station, she stands with her child on the side of the street, taking pictures of cars.
You think she's insane. Until, one day, you notice that she's taking pictures of the license plates of the cars her child gets into.
Because you look. But you do not see.
And she walks out the shop with bags full of cat food. You think she's some crazy cat lady until you find out, she has no cats.
Because you eat. But you do not taste.
It's been a while since their last album but he assures you, he's doing just fine these days, white flecks in his nostrils. Then he asks you if he can spend the night on your couch, even though it stinks.
Because you sniff. But you do not smell.
And they say "Just OK" when you ask them how school was. Then you wonder what they're hiding until you find their diary and the last entry reads "I wish you'd give me some privacy."
Because you listen. But you do not hear.
And they've got a bruise over their eye and you run the tips of your fingers over it and ask them how it happened. You believe them. Until it happens again.
Because you touch. But you do not feel.
And they walk past you everyday, one million stories, each waiting to be told. Waiting for you to ask.
Because you live. But very few, love."
the guy that writes that blog is pretty awesome lor..
anyways, i have stuff on my mind again, as usual. tho i'm getting lazier to type em down, but still it makes me feel nice when i re read my posts. anyways, i've settled on doing my esl investigative study on refugees. rose has been awesome, and she gave me this book to read called the revolving door, by tenaganita malaysia. it is very scary and upsetting, refugees are treated so horribly in malaysia! i remember how after i read like two testimonies from the book, i was already so upset. i thought of my kids and wondered if they had to go through so much pain just getting here. they're innocent,beautiful children who still have so much love to give and i was really upset that day. when i saw them on sunday, i held on extra long, just so afraid for them. they live in constant danger and it is so freaking annoying that our government won't help them but instead always resort to abuse and discrimination. and i thought of moses, i really wonder how he's doing now. i miss him too! but i sure hope he's got a better life in america now. gosh, i have so much i wanna pray about, must put time aside for my awesomest God later!
but thinking about moses made me wonder about how our stories all weave in with one another's. like, i bet all *hahah, sis just came home with our new car! =D* 6.7 billion of us can be connected to form this large chain, showing that we are all connected. and that's really cool. have you ever wondered how many strangers' photos you're in? where you were in the background and accidentally got snapped into the picture too? maybe somewhere someone in russia is looking at a photo that has you in the background. cool thought huh? and i knew moses for so short a time only and i'm not even sure if he'll remember me, or us when he grows up, but still it's life, and life passes you by. and i'm just like wow la.
i remember reading in the revolving door, that it is just an accident of birth that we are born in a country that respects human rights. well , it shouldn't be accident la, cause i believe it's all in God's plan ever since the beginning of time, but still, what it generally means is that us and refugees? we're no different. the only difference is where we were born. they are people too, who love, who fear, who hope for a better future. and i remember thinking that we can't make change happen until we deal with our lack of knowledge and ignorance. but every moment while we stand doing nothing, someone, whose life is just as valuable as ours, is being raped or abused or denied their necessities just because they are a refugee. oh God, please guide me and show me what you want me to do!
so often i find myself flooded with passion but with no means of acheiving it. i just don't know how and it frustrates me deeply!
today in bio we were talking about mutation. and about how mutated fetus(es???) can be born without limbs. and i remembered this guy in my school who had only one arm, but was a paralympics gold medalist swimmer i or somewhere along those bombastically fantastic acheivements one. and i know he must hear it a lot but i truly admire his spirit. that quality, that courage separates him from even some able-bodied people. he is able to take whatever life throws his way and fight back, saying you can't stop me from acheiving my dreams. and that raw human spirit is what amazes me so. i really wonder if i will still be who i am today if i was born under different circumstances. if i was born in a less well to do family, or without a limb, or born to be a refugee, would i still be me? can i really push the clouds aside and give thanks for the sunrays? i love habakkuk 3:17-19, tho i may have typed this before.., "though the fig tree may not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, though the labor of the olive may fail, and the fields yield no food. though the flock be cut off from the fold, and there be no herd in the stalls, yet i will rejoice in the Lord, i will rejoice in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength, He will make my feet like deer's feet, and He will make me walk on high hills."
lately i keep finding more and more things to praise God for. but still i let my busy-ness keep me from actually giving Him time to just sit in thanks. i'm sorry, God. and even when times are bad i just find myself leaning more on Him and gosh i really do love You, Lord! =) Thank you for everything, for life, for friends, for love. =)
about mutation, i also thought about how some pregnant mothers can abort their child so easily while another is fighting to keep theirs. how essentially, one man's trash is another man's treasure. but still God works in mysterious ways and yea.. life isn't fair sometimes but what do you do? you pick yourself up off the ground. you fight back. and tho it may seem the whole worl is against you, remember that God stands with you, always. you're not a survivor, you're a warrior.
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