well there's so much i wanna say today! new stuff too!
basically i had a good day! morning had futsal with our kids and gosh i missed them! i'm so proud to hear them calling me mummy candice and the boys still call me teacher. and gosh they are good at futsal, the boys especially and esther and nissi. killer kick man, and i had so much fun! i mentioned how i was lacking in exercise and it felt really good to sweat out there and run and feel that feeling in ur lungs when you need more air. hahah, i felt so alive! and lunch was good too, best burger i ever had. =)
i love kids. i really do, especially today, when playing with them, the little girls are so friendly. like after a while we'll be holding hands walking and everyone wants a hug and i just love being around kids. they're so innocent and loving and friendly. the older you get the harder it is to have that kind of innocence, like easiness to trust kinda thing. but i guess we just grow out of our naivete(? is this the right word??). and they also make friends with one another so quickly. tonight we had this community dinner thing for our road, and we met so many nice people. what amazed me most was how the kids were already running and chasing and having a blast so soon after people started arriving. i find that so beautiful in a sense, like when you grow up, we get all shy and akward and self concious, but not them you know. i guess my question is, what changed? i think being able to live with a mature mind yet child-like heart is the best. well in a way la. remember how you could cheer up with just an ice cream last time? hahah, i love kids la. =)i remember looking at one of the little girls tonight and wondering what she'll be like when she grows up. will she give her dad a big headache when she wants to wear miniskirts and makeup and become a "rebellious teenager" as hwee wen loves to say? hahahah, just a random thought.
i think for me, there are things i think i want, and things i'm supposed to want.
at our table today, another family sat with us. oh btw, i loved how all the dads, well representatives of the families went up and talked and everyone was like oh this is my wife and kids. and it just seemed so sweet and i really am staying with a very nice bunch of people. =) so the family right, and us started talking about childbirth and stuff. totally odd topic that my mum broguht up but interesting nevertheless. i found out that there was a power outage when i was born and the doctor had to cut me out of my mum's stomach while holding a torchlight or something. hahahha. but the other dad at that table talked about how the hospital they went to had really bad service and the doctors were incompetent and stuff and he warned them if anything happened to his kid right, they better watch out. and i was kinda touched by that, that fathers love their kids so fiercely, even if they don't always show it. they're like backbones, support systems that are ready to catch you when you fall. i've always wanted to be a father, ahha, but yea, not very possible. it's just dads have such a big role in their kids life. every girl needs her daddy to protect her and such and sons need their dad to set the example on being a man. just wow la. and then they discussed how heavy their baby was when tshe was born and my dad said like, yea, grace also 5 pounds or something like that. and awww, i was so touched again, it's 25 years already since then and he still remembers how heavy my sister was when she was born. aren't parents awesome? sometimes they nag and scold and stuff, but really, my parents are amazing people in my life. =)
i remember at the futsal court, there was another group of older guys playing futsal there. and i really liked the idea of a bunch of friends still meeting up to enjoy the sport together. like my dad who plays badminton with his childhood friends and brother twice a week, every week. i love how sports can bind people. i always tell my school friends when we're watching football in school or whatever, that it is so cool to see guys who absolutely didn't know each other become friends on the football/futsal court or basketball court. like how hwee wen and i used to play basketball with guys at pe and i would think we all bonded a bit more too from there. hahah, but the guys in our class who plays basketball are all really nice and always passes us the ball to try and shoot. needless to say, scoring even one shot is a BIG acheivement for me. =P but yea, my point is i love how the love of a sport can connect people. i don't have a sport like that really. jogging doesn't really bring people together the same way. oh well. =)
my foot soles hurt from futsal, but totally worth it. can't wait for the next time!
oh and today, i met mitte(?) i dunno how to spell her name, one of the refugees who i've never met before. she's 17, like me. and i remember thinking, we are at the same time of our lives now yet the roads we take are so completely different. she lives a life of constant danger, and of struggling to make ends meet, and scarce education and my life is as i've always felt it was, too blessed. so many things come easy to me, and i don't mean it as a way of boasting but in the sense that i don't understand why. i talked about this with my sister today, about how things are easier off for me than my friends or other people i know, and she said everyone has different paths to take and different challenges. while i was still pondering on the purpose of my life, she said, and "your gift is voluntary poverty. amazing huh?" and i was thinking wow. cause i took a spiritual gift test once and my gift was voluntary poverty and mercy i think.
well it's almost strange when i look back over my life. and i see how God introduced me to the refugee children, and brought me to leadership, and even this recent musical. but like my sister says, the hard part is finding your purpose in life and when you do, you will feel the most amazing peace. i need to find my purpose where i am now. God, please help me! but even though i may not have found it yet, i believe with all my heart, i have a purpose to live out for God. =)
some of the children. =)
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