somewhere down this road

well well well, i'm back here again! it's two months into 2010 already and man time flies. it's just week after week of college and church and i find myself here now. and though it is just a little over two months since i wore my orange uniform, school is such a faraway memory for me already. it's strange really when i pass by old classmates and we're no more than hi bye friends. i've said hey, how's life so far to too many people already. haha, but it's nice to still have tot wednesdays. i saw faris today! hahah big boy dey konon, with his elvis hair and funny attitude. i hope he suceeds on his mission impossible! lol, but really just catching up with them, peanuting, it feels really good and comfortable. i haven't linked arms with people in a long time.. =P but really, i'm glad some things will always be the same. shummie's still shummie, goo's still goo, vonne's still vonne and faris will always be himself la. hahhaaha..

but still, 2010 has brought so many changes to my life. i find myself in college, having tests so crazy often, buying my own lunch, being a cg leader, having to try harder to connect with old friends, in a musical (:D) and in normal clothes everyday. it's just pretty cool yet overwhelming sometimes. SAM is stressful man.. but it's okay, i'm not balding... yet. =P

i really thank God for bringing me here though, all my fears about college slowly dissipating away. i remember being so afraid that i'd have no friends, that i'd mix with the wrong crowd, that i couldn't cope in class but everything's going great now, just the ocassional gah-ness. thanks God, really. =) but 2011's gonna be an even bigger change! aiks! don't panic yet candice!!!

CRAPS. SPM results out on eleventh... sigh, breathe candice!!! hahah G8's boycotting class that day! woohoo!

man, i'm way excited bout 16 going on 17 next week, first meeting for the dancers! uber duper excited but my dancing is way rusty. haha.
and i'm still going of key with my any milk today. haha. gah.

yea, and that was an update about my life.. i haven't got any new philosophies or anything yet, but this year i think i'm gonna take more risks. try everything, see the world (okay maybe just a teeny bit of it) and discover who i really am. seems like for very long i've always defined myself by other things, like my grades, my abilities and all these other nonsense (considerably). and with it comes a fear of losing any of those, for that would mean losing myself. if you get me.... yea, but for a while now i've been telling myself to only let God define me, for He is everlasting and He loves me deeply. but like always, easier said than done. so yea, i wanna live this year with that mindset and discover who i really am underneath all that, and let that girl shine instead. =)

you know, writing here has made me see things more clearly in life, like i'm more amazed at little things now. cool huh?

man my weekends are pretty packed. i really wanted to join MADU but apparently it's full right now, GAH! hopefully it'll open up by their next meeting, mum's pissed i have so many activities. while frustrating, it's funny cause it's been a long time since she's bugged me bout this. i want to go for evening service, cg, college cg, kat's birthday day (sorry kat!), alice in wonderland with classmates, MADU meetings (i wish), AGC meeting (sorry!), neighbourhood dinner, football with ben and my kids, and everything else i wanna do. (pulls hair out of my head)sigh.

but to be honest, i have been struggling to hear God's voice lately. it's tough and i haven't been trying hard enough. but i can't give up. i need Him in my life. sigh... will try harder, if you're reading this, i hope you do too! =)

very often i get to the end of a blog post and think, cheh, so sian wan this post, but i usually post it anyways.. =P