for april fool's day, some ppl in g8 remembered that mr ng said his birthday was on april fool's day. so we all thought, what the heck, let's get a cake only la! so we got a small cupcake and decided to sing in class at 8.40am at which time all our alarms will, in anna's fantasy, ring at the same time and shock him. =.='' well that didn't happen cause all our phones had different times. haha, so we started singing anyways and he was really touched but after that admitted that it was after all, not his birthday. haha, but it was worth it to see him so happy. =)
my gosh, candice toh is gonna cough her lungs out soon. like literally have her lungs coughed out onto the floor. ARGH!
anyways, yesterday i went to church for the Good Friday service and had a few new thoughts in my head. okay honestly, i didn't really pay attention to the sermon partly cause i kept wanting to cough but can't cause i scared ppl around me get way too annoyed so i tahaned.. but at the end of it all, the pastor had an altar call for people who needed to come back to God. and i figured the response wouldn't be very good since i didn't really feel amazed at the sermon, but quite many people stood up in surrender. and i could tell some of them were really overwhelmed expecially the lady behind me. and i realized two things. one is that, at different times, God uses different things to speak to different people, He knows what they need. like, even though the message didn't apply to me, He could still use it to touch so many people's lives. and i was like totally WAHHHH.
also cause recently i've been really amazed at how God could forgive me over and over again for my failures and still love me unconditionally, dying for me even though He knew i'd fail him again and again. and i realized, He deals with more than just me each day, He deals with everyone's failures, everyone's pain. and i know He's God and perfect and like super awesome at multi-tasking cause well He's omnipresent, but still, to have a God in my life that is willing to take on all that pain and sin and be willing to forgive them all each day is just completely amazing. i think about how sometimes i can't even forgive myself and yet here God is, so willing to forgive the sins of more than just mine, but of all the earth, out of LOVE.
i learnt that succumbing to the though that God cannot forgive me is to diminish Jesus' work on the cross.
perhaps the most touching part of the Easter story for me is the part where Jesus cried," My God, why have you forsaken me?" on the cross. At that moment, all the world's sins were on Him, crushing Him, and even God had to look away for He is the opposite of sin, He is clean and perfect. and i realized that on the cross, Jesus must have been so lonely. His disciples ran away, people were shouting at Him and whipping Him and even God the Father had turned away. and when this thought enetered my mind, i finally believed with all my heart that God understands my pain and my hurts. for every time i've felt alone or treated unjustly or upset, He can say with complete honesty that He's been there too, He knows how i feel. Can you imagine that He would come to earth to die for people like us? people who make mistakes everyday and who hurt other people and who beyond a doubt, does not deserve it?
and what i realized most is, no matter how messed up we are, God will always love us. even when the disciples ran away and just made mistake after mistake, God still loved them and used them for greater things. even though people like Abraham and Jacob did so much wrong, God is still proud of them that He would let Himself be called the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Man, my God is awesome!
=)
hmm, on a slightly different note, i've been struggling with what to do next year alot. i'm completely torn between staying and going overseas and am so not used to having to make big decisions in my life. but i've had really incredible people around me, my sister and friends who gave me all kinds of advice of which i am really grateful for. and today i had a fortune cookie and inside it said, do not worry about what lies ahead. this is the second time i got this 'fortune', but i remember that the first time i did, the timing was perfect too. i still keep the first one, i stuck it on my wall! =)still my prayer today is that God will send me where He will have me go. =)
i was rereading some posts in my blog just now and realized, it's quite nice to read the words i have said before. and realize that i am still the same person then as i am now. and some lessons i have forgotten are written here for me to re-remember.
gah, i'm still coughing now. everytime i get into like fits of coughing again i break out in cold sweat. and was slightly feverish this morning. it's strange tho, i think i fell sick like three times already this year. i remember only falling sick on average once a year last time when i was younger. strange.
anyways, i gotta get some work done before i go for AGC meeting where i can see and hug pearls and kat! =D
Have a Blessed Easter!
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