the anchor

today, after something.. rather surprising and stressful happened, i was led to question once again.. myself. i felt so pressured to be what everyone else expected of me, where suddenly being 'candice' became a duty not a natural thing. sometimes, lots of times really, i think people expect more of me than i am ready, or able to give. i want to be perfect so much, but i can't and often i lose strength to try anymore even. sigh, something's just up with my emotions lately. :/ i just, don't want to have to try so hard anymore.

but then i remembered how i felt today, just hanging out with my friends, the people i felt most 'me' with. with these crazy bunch, i never have to try harder, i just am who i am. i recently read a quote about how everyone else in the world can be basically telling you you're not good enough, but all you need is one, who would tell you that you are. these guys are one of the greatest blessings i've ever had. sometimes when everything else just begins to crumble, and when the people i expected to believe in me just.. don't, and when i fail others again, i've got a place i can come back to to feel right at home. we all need friends man really. i realized that today. so i guess it's okay if the rest of the world think poorly of me, i'll be okay cause there are people who'd still stand next to me when i'm being weird and ugly and noisy and APPARENTLY off-key again, when i have friends who'd spend like forty minutes plus discussing what to have for dinner while i lodge my visa application, when they don't care if i'm smart, stupid, ugly, pretty, fat or thin, when seeing them happy playing badminton makes me happy, when we make fun of each other, laugh together, eat everything, give space to emo and so much more. friends like these, just can't let distance separate em. sigh, i'm hoping for the best guys! haha, thanks for everything, i love you all loads! :)

and hyeh hyeh hyeh, SAM book sale was super duper. we all got a sunburnt tho. and no one wanted a photo with ian in the end. LOL.


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kor says i'm PWETTY here. hahha SARCASM? totally. BLUEH. my camera's still cooler la kor. hahah all of us kept playing with his smile detector thingy today, so super fun. :) it'd even take a photo of ian's smiling photo! :D i had a good time today after all, just what i needed. <3

love,
candice