everywhere requires around like a 98 TER and i really have no idea how good i am, and right now i really don't think i'm good enough or trying hard enough for that matter. i don't want to let everybody down. but i guess what really comforted me was the thought that if it was God's plan for me to go there, who can stop it? but still, TERRIFYING. i like UNSW so far tho, cause it sees your personality and suitability to be a doctor too, and not just academics. sigh, life is tuph man!
anyways, we (daddy me che) talked bout it at dinner, and also bout life and money and bases. i have friends who really value money, like they want a job that is lucrative. and i've always been the one to say, don't do it for the money. and my sister's been like me all along. we're telling people, hey, it ain't all about money. but these people, they grew up with very different lifestyles than what me and my sister are accustomed to. we grew up never lacking anything, i mean we aren't, well i don't think we are, spoiled brats, we don't eat fine dining or buy expensive clothing but we've always been pretty well off. i mean we got to go to a private school and daddy gave us the opportunity to study anywhere we wanted. and i thought, maybe that is why we never 'valued' earning a lot of money in that sense, cause we took things for granted and lived without that need. but our friends have always needed the money and if their convictions are based on wanting a better life than their childhood, who's to say it's wrong? and i'm just really confused and at that place of wondering why my life is so good while others aren't as good and gah la.
but i really do believe that my greatest blessing is my parents, especially daddy who's worked so hard to make all this possible, who's planned ahead so many years to ensure we can do what we wanna do. and family's important. =) growing up, i've definitely had disagreements after disagreements with slammed doors and angry pouts with them. and now as i'm older, i'm beginning to understand why they're so protective of me though i resent it sometimes and why they do most of the things they do. and who can blame them for making some msitakes along the way? i make mistakes everyday too. and i realized that no matter how much i resent some of the things they do sometimes, i kinda like the way i turned out, like i'm not boasting la, but mum's protectiveness and strictness kept me innocent longer and just stuff like that la. and i love the little family traditions we have, like we always eat dinner together unless we're eating out or someone's coming home real late. and really, family's important, i truly am blessed for incredible parents and sisters. =) i love you all to pieces!
and also, pops was talking bout base right, he always says he wan't the base to be australia, and that he would like us all to study there. and we always just shrugged at the idea. base, hahahah! sorta thing. but today he explained that he doesn't want us sisters to live so far apart. cause when you need help, you can count on family. and i thought of one of his sisters who lives in america and apparently they haven't spoken in decades, cause she lives so far. and they didn't even come for my cousin's wedding. so i mean, i realized i don't want my relationship with my sisters to become that way and yea.....
and i also realized, i have very big shoes to fill when i become a parent. as a younger kid i used to point out things they did wrong as parents, as in to myself la, but lately i've just been so amazed at how much they love us and want to do the right thing for us. can i be as awesome a parent as they are? scary... =P
but yea, open your eyes, and see that your life is beautiful. look past the clouds and see the sun, shining for all its worth.
my motivation! to which my sister replied, hahahahah why you so funny???? =.= but lol.
hahah a picture of a picture in my house. i look completely ridiculous but we were all so happy then, cause we were laughing at mummy's raincoat. hahahhahah! LOL!
with lots of hugs,
candice. =)
No comments:
Post a Comment