i DARE

i'm back from DARE camp! Taylor's Cf camp. it was really good, i found it so different than usual camps cause it was a much smaller group than usual FGA camps. there were 40ish of us only so you kinda get to know nearly everyone. and i think besides the spiritual part of camp, my favourite part was all the people i got to meet. i barely knew anyone although i was on the camp committee and even being on the committee showed me how open and generous the people in cf are. :) but i felt prompted to go anyways so i went, not even knowing who i'd room with or sit with in the bus. but man, i've met the awesomest bunch of people ever! everyone's so friendly and welcoming and LAME, but i felt really touched. i have met friends that i can talk to for hours, get stuck on the slide with, encourage me from afar by seeing the sadness in me even when i put on a happy face, friends who try to make your day good even though they have their own struggles, who teman me when i'm alone and friends who will sing with me, especially when i'm off-key. they're all really honest i feel and it was such a blessing to meet such godly people. it's like even the most intimidating looking people, or shy people really put their hearts out there when they worship God with music, and it amazed me to see such courage and like, focus on God. this is passion i've never really seen before, especially in the guys. and i found it so humbling and like wow la! they aren't perfect people but in those imperfections they have become really really good friends, and i'm reminded to come to God just as i am. that even when i cannot be perfect, i can still give God whatever is in my hand. so i really thank God for leading me to this camp and this was just one of the best ever really. thanks God!!! :) and thank you everyone who wrote on my wall, i was really touched and encouraged by it. :D

spiritually, i don't think i was in a very strong place when i went there. i haven't been doing my devotions regularly and like i mentioned it's become tougher for me to trust God. but still i'm glad that despite all that, the desire to really serve God and worship Him with my life is there and it always has been and i'm so sure that that comes from God and God alone. the first night when we were praying, i was really struggling with God, i've come to a place of numbness, not knowing what to do about my relationship with God as it was just torn in between like that, complicated la until i didn't understand either. and someone prayed for me that night as i was already crying, and he said that he sensed a battle going on within me and he prayed for my family too. and these were the exact things i was feeling and i realized how amazing it is to be fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, that He would bridge the gap between us kinda thing? and i felt such an amazement at God and His people.

i did learn a lot from this camp, but i'm only gonna mention the most memorable ones off my head now cause i really gotta go finish maths. one of my favourite camp moments was when the electricity went off during praise and worship for like a minute plus? and the keyboard stopped sounding and the mikes weren't working and only the drums and guitar could be heard. at that moment, everyone started singing even louder, letting our voices carry the music. and i thought about the phrase in the song that stuck out to me earlier, "now in the darkness, God's light shines", and i remember thinking at that moment in the dark, that in the darkness is when we should sing the loudest, that even when everything is going wrong in our lives, even when you feel so far from God, that that is when you should sing all the more louder and see His light shining through. :)


"if we dare to do the ridiculous, God will do the miraculous"
this has stuck with me ever since pastor elijah said it. and i'm like whoa.... that night as we were praying, i felt led to pray for eadelyn and i was bit scared la. but i did it anyways and i prayed in tongues first, but it was like never before really. the words came out without conscious thought and my whole body was shaking and i just kept on praying in tongues, feeling that it made more of an impact than speaking words. but eventually i thought that she might be waiting for a prayer of words, so i started praying in english and also then the words came naturally for the most part. like it was really God speaking through me and i was so amazed. i don't know if it made an impact much, but then i remember that quote and that i must remain humble. even if the outcome is not what i would have desired, still my prayer must be "God, let Your will be done, whatever it may be. i am but a willing servant. :)" and i think it brought me deeper in faith and in love with God, just knowing that He's in control and the realization that He knows what He's doing. and in moments of reflection such as these i find myself feeling this love for Him that is so deep and desperate. and it really brings me such awe towards God.

i also questioned Him that night, asking "why are You doing this to me, making it so hard for me to connect with You?" and i think i heard Him say that this is what it takes to bring me even deeper in my relationship with Him. and i was like whoa.. and i realized that like all relationships, our relationship with God will have its tough moments too, but through ups and downs we learn the ways of God, we learn to trust and we grow deeper in love with our beautiful Lord and Saviour. so even if you feel far away from God, know that He is there and He still loves you so so deeply, and that in the darkness, God's light will shine, brighter than ever. :)

*added 26th July*
oh and i forgot how touched i was by this! we were surprising shaun with a cake for his birthday and in the midst of all the laughter and smiles, justin said, "hold this(the balloon) while i pray for him." :) that was so sweet, just like the way pearly's dad prayed for her at her birthday long ago. :) i love that even when we are 'independent' in that sense, that we still choose to pray on birthdays and other special occasions. that God exists in every part of us, not just in church and cf. i love love love this culture and this habit, probably cause it's pretty new/unusual for me to see people praying on birthdays. i know this may seem like a small thing but it meant much to me. :D **

i loved how this camp was smaller really, made everything so much more intimate and close. and the worship was like right in front of us, not on some huge grand stage. but it was so much better than most other times, cause of the voices that proclaimed God's glory courageously. and i really got so much out of this camp, so much different things too than i've ever got. the committee was really awesome too and of one thing i'm sure, that i am forevermore blessed by this DARE camp.:)


love a lot a lot,
candice :)