now i'm found

and i am reminded of how God has already infiltrated my life. i have blogged about this before but really, no matter where i run, even away from God, i always end up running TO God. even if i don't want to, because i'm stubborn or lazy, i always go back to Him to ask what should i do next. because i'm drawn to Him, my heart's connected to His. and i don't know how i led my life pre-God anymore. what is it like to live with so much uncertainty and insecurity? i live with fears and worries yes, but i always know my future is secure in Christ. that, if it's God's will nothing can stop it. talking about 'honeymoons' with gene today and the whole uni subject brings me back to the fact that i believe that God has a good plan for my life because it is true. i know that no matter what happens, He's still and always will be in control. what is it like to live without that knowledge, that faith, that ultimate comfort? today Lord, i wanna thank You that i know You, that i have a relationship with you though a bit broken here and there, that You care forevermore. that if it took You dying on the cross for me a million times over for my soul to be redeemed, that You would.

"Where can i go from Your Spirit? or where can i flee from Your presence? if i ascend into heaven, You are there, if i make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. if i take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there Your hand shall lead me and Your right hand shall hold me."
-Psalms 139:7-10

there are days when i wonder if i am overestimating Your love for me, "a million times over, really? You'd do that?". but i don't want to live with that kind of poison anymore, i reasoned that if You are an infinite God that i cannot even comprehend how much You truly love me. so the most that i can think of Your love is still probably only a fraction of the intensity of Your love for me. and if i know that, how can i still live my life 'ordinarily'? i am extraordinary because You love me.

"For i am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things yet to come, nor height nor depth nor any other created thing shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
-Romans 8:38-39

and i also think about how God might find it "worth it" to die for all of mankind, for billions of lives. that one perfect sacrifice in exchange for so many would be considered a fair trade. but i learnt just how wrong that is exactly for two reasons. firstly, that if there was only me on earth, God would still do the same. i really do believe that now. the population of the earth is not just a number to our Lord, it, no, we are His children. and He loves every one of us with the same depth, sacrifice, fierceness and sincerity. like how amazing is that? that His love for the billions on earth is SO great, that He could love everyone equally but so powerfully nonetheless, that even our human minds cannot understand it? He's that mighty! and secondly, as i've learnt from max lucado's story 'give it all to Him', which was really good by the way is that it was even more difficult to take on the sins of SO MANY people. He pictured Jesus as a trashman, in a world where everybody had bags of trash they had to lug around. bags full of regret, shame, anger, pain and so on. and so Jesus went around and asked people to meet Him at the landfill and give Him their bags of trash, offering them the sweetest freedom. and so they came that Friday night. and Jesus was kneeling at the top of that landfill, opening the bags of trash and pouring them ALL.. upon Himself. His holy, pure, untainted self. and He's crying out in pain and anguish, feeling everything we have ever felt. and just imagining that scene, that fateful day in Calvary, doesn't it just fill you with the deepest humility? Jesus took it all. all that fresh trash and pain you're holding on too tightly to? give it all to Him, His arms are wide open, His hand widely extended. He's saying, "you weren't meant to live with this sin. give it to Me." so back to what i said in the beginning of this paragraph, all i have to do to KNOW for sure that i was wrong is picture Jesus opening bag after bag of sin, and with willingless, just pour it all upon Himself. so in case you forgot this, listen to it now and remember that YOU ARE FREE. the greatest price has been paid for your soul, accept this gift of salvation.

"But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed."
-Isaiah 53:5

"What is the world you want? You choose it with every breath."
-Jon Foreman

and there are days when i am max-ed out frustrated, at the people around me, at microsoft word, at the endless tasks i have to do but keep failing to complete, days where hope is out of stock, where love is on short supply and where joy is not mine to keep. but as i sit here and write this, i am filled with a peace, a familiar friend, to remind me life is good. that it is a privilege to live another day. and all it takes to get back to this peace is to remember, to really remember what the Lord has done for me, and what He's still doing for me everyday. i pray that i can worship You with my life o Lord, with every word, with every breath, with every action. :)

i'm going for CF camp tomoro! excited and stressed out simultaneously. :P

thank You God, for family, friends, cf, opportunities to practice patience and for joy. i know You know this, but You're the best! let tomorrow be a new day to glorify Your name!! :)

oh and i've been featured with mich and elena(and ian) haha. check this out! :)
http://genewern.blogspot.com/2010/07/look-into-girls-toilet.html :P enjoy!


God's promises hold true,
candice :)