SPIRIT FM IS UP AND RUNNING! I'M SO HAPPY PTLOMS! every other radio station just doesn't cut it for me la, so noisy terrible music only.
so i had a good morning cause tan su-lin suprised us with her rare presence!!!! ahahahah, the four of us were so crazy to be together again, but pearly was like a floor below us in l2 at children's ministry. lol, still we have dinner arranged for next week (hopefully all goes well). hahah i was filled with this joy today, i know it sounds so serious and deep and formal, but i was super duper happy lor somehow. like the disappointment and gahness i've been feeling just went away with the presence of my awesome friends! we were really close back then, but that's the funny thing about our CAR ParK. we're like super close when we're together though we can grow apart very easily. but everytime we come back together again it's as if we've never been apart. that's why i picked defying gravity as this post's topic, :P , cause in the world and in my life even, it's so easy and common for friendships to break apart completely from lack of time spent together, or contact, or constant updates and stuff.but somehow that never happened to us, our friendship is very unique somehow,and i love it, i love that even though we aren't in each others face 24/7, i know i can always fall back on them and rely on them to give me the Godly counsel i require in my life, friends who go through the same things i've going through, yet such different things. like amanda likes to say, we're all so different really, yet we mix so well. hahaha, i just feel really blessed to have CAR ParK in my life.
and also, i remember how we were discussing how much difference a cg leader could make in someone's life over dinner that day with terry. and josh shared with me after about how sam noticed him first too, and that made all the difference. so i was thinking, who helped me get started? who played the biggest role in making me who i am today? to some extent, i feel it was roxanne, who was always there for me, to help me realize right and wrong and stuff. but i think the people that had the most influence on my life, the people who are 'responsible' in that sense for who i am today are these people, amanda, pearly, kat and rachel. because of them i was able to grow so much deeper with God and i understood what it meant to have support and love and fellowship around me. you know, today after we were talking i just spent a while reflecting, thinking about how far each of us have come. we all became close early form 4, and we're in college and form 6 now, it's been more than two years we've been good friends. and in that two years, i would have to say that we all really went through some tough times, some good times, but for sure, a lot of changes in between. and i am truly so proud of each one of them, how they are so naturally beautiful and strong inside out, and how they persevere and stand their ground in every circumstance. so today i thank You God, for incredible friends, who i could not have made through the past few years without. :)
anand shared this in spiritual gifts class today, and i just really liked it, somehow.
"Everybody was made in the image of God, and therefore there is good in everybody." i know it's a fact and not even all that dressed up to sound like a wow sentence, but the truth of it made me feel so WOW. God is everything that is good and holy and perfect, and today i felt so overwhelmed by His goodness. when i was younger i could not understand how people could get on their knees and just proclaim so honestly how much their loved Jesus and about how holy He is. i mean i know He's holy and all, and i love Jesus too, but not so passionately perhaps. and only as i'm growing older and straonger with God that i feel that love for Him growing so strong too. that as His peace surrounds me and His love overwhelms me, i cannot imagine loving someone else more. and then i thought about where i would be in the last few years and today if there wasn't God in my life. and i cringed, i actually drew back and felt so scared and i dunno, but it was like a huge discomforting kinda feeling. because i know that ultimately, although there have been so much help along the way too, ultimately, i am who i am today because of God. and to imagine my life without Him anymore just makes me feel so upset, so unsafe, so terrified, so ugly even. i have a feeling that all the values i hold on strongly to know would not exist without God constantly pouring His values into me first. and for the first time, i can say with all conviction, that i am everything i am today because i know Jesus. and He is so holy, so perfect and that keeps me in speechless awe.
you know, what separates Christianity from any other religion in the world is this, that Jesus,the God of Gods who belonged in the holy seats of heaven, came down to take the punishment meant for us, the punishment fit for a murderer, a rapist and a thief. and He is the only way to heaven, becaue He paid the price for our lives and with His beautiful outstretched arms He is asking you to accept His enormous gift of love. i am just really amazed by Jesus.
and i realized that what makes a lot of difficult things difficult is the time needed to make it work. we live in an era of instance, of immediate supply. fast food's a good example! and when we say we want to change the world, or even change one life, we may tend to forget that while it needs initiative, it needs effort, courage, God definitely, it also requires time. nelson mandela spent 27 years in prison. william wilberforce fought 26 years before the slave trade was abolished. and i guess in some perspective, it took me 16 years to be where i am now, to know what i know now, to learn the lessons i did. and to make a difference, one that can inspire people and change lives forvermore, we're gonna need more than a day or a week. we may have to invest months and years into it, but it's gonna be so worth it.
this might or might not serve as a good example, but it's one i really value in my life. in going for all my MADU meetings, i feel like i've become rather attached to one of the girls there. her name is sabrina and she often had a sour face and refused to play the games and stuff. but i sat with her and just became her friend. to be honest i didn't do much but the consistency did her good i think. i felt really close to her in a way, like she became my kid. :) she referred to me as HER kak while fighting for me yesterday, something that made me feel really touched. :P she was also more bully than bullied in the orphanage. and so i bought her this notebook and wrapped it really colourful with her name on it and wrote her a pretty long emssage inside about my hopes for her and the goodness i see in her. she was so happy to receive it that i was so happy too. :) and one thing that made me really BLAH was that i didn't have presents for all the kids there and a lot of them actually came up to me and ASKED for a present and i just had to say i didn't bring enough. goo was so funny tho, he just stood in front of me and said to the kid BYE! after i apologetically said i didn't had enough but the kid was still sad faced in front of me. but when i was going to give another little girl a present, i was afraid sabrina would get jealous that she wasn't the only one i had in mind kinda thing, but instead she really stepped up and tried pulling the other kids that i didn't have anything for away. acting like my bodyguard or something. haha, but she's so adorable really. then these two other girls i was semi close to asked for presents too so i crumbled and said i only had one present left-a hairband and i t was actually meant for another girl. but goo went on to ask them if they would share it, can anot wor? then they said can! one of the girl was quite a bully and violent one, so i was kinda afraid she wouldn't share it with the other smaller girl. so when i handed that to the more violent girl, i was so suprised at her kindness, that before she even tried it on, she ran to the little girl and put the hairband on her head. people really do step up when you least expect them to you know? :)
yea so i sidetracked ALOT i know, but my point was, in just 6 weeks, well actually 5, cause she didn't come for one week, well actually 5 days then, 5 ,or maybe even less, mornings in fact, that we broke down some of the walls between us, that from a really glum moody girl, she smiled so much more on the last day, and from refusing to even touch me in the first few times, we parted with an extremely tight hug and the smile on her face really did radiate her beauty. the children there are so beautiful really, and i remember sitting there thinking, there are artists here, and dancer, and chefs, and geniuses here, if only they have the chance to do greater things with their lives. gosh i hope so much that they would work hard and use their God-given talents to do so much more. and when goo asked me if i would miss them, like honestly, i knew in my heart that i would more than anything miss the opportunity to be in their lives and watch them grow to become incredible, beautiful people with so much to offer the world. and it's hard to let go after so many weeks of going there, of just hanging out with them. so yea, you could say i'm gonna miss them, cause i think i will too.
"they didn't just love God, they loved people too."
- and that is essentially our call as Christians, and it is what will make a difference in the lives of others, the difference that shows that God lives in us.
i made a promise to someone today. no scratch that, i made a PINKY promise. and i intend on keeping it, even when i don't want to, even if it gets difficult. :)
JESUS I LOVE YOU!!! :) thank You for this life, for leading me to the light, to You, to letting me live a beautiful life. thank You for everything and i really do love You!!! :D :D
All About You by Hillsongs United
Hear our praises,
Hear Your people sing
Hear our hearts cry,
Your love is everything
And all will hear this sound
As the nations turn to You
And this will be our anthem
Cause we're all about You
And the world You promised
And all we have will give you praise
Cause we're all about You
And the world can't stop us
Living Your Way
Always
Let our hearts break,
As we praise your name
Let the earth shake,
This is the sound of faith
And all will hear this sound
As the nations turn to You
And this will be our anthem
Cause we're all about You
And the world You promised
And all we have will give you praise
Cause we're all about You
And the world can't stop us
Living Your Way
Always
And the walls will fall down
and religion will break
And the nations will hear this shout
Can you hear the sound of faith?
Cause we're all about You
Cause we're all about You
keep that chin up,
candice! :D
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